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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28507080">Starfall: Book Two</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/VioletArrows/pseuds/VioletArrows'>VioletArrows</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Starfall [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Action/Adventure, Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Angst, Blood, Body Horror, Dark Humor, Death, Drama, Epic, Explicit Language, Female Anti-Hero, Gallows Humor, Gen, Gore, Graphic Description, Horror, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Mental Health Issues, Phobias, Platonic Female/Male Relationships, Platonic Relationships, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Psychological Horror, Reluctant Dovahkiin | Dragonborn, Reluctant Hero, Torture, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Warnings May Change, the gods must be crazy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-05-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 18:41:49</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>59,241</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28507080</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/VioletArrows/pseuds/VioletArrows</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>A Redguard Mage and an Akaviri Dragonslayer are forced to travel the harsh world of Skyrim in search of meaning, someone who'll stop gawking at how impossible they both are and help them, and whoever keeps letting dragons loose all over the country. So far, the native Nords aren't very helpful, even when they're actually trying to help. The gods are even worse, but when are they not? Every lesson gets harsher, the snow gets deeper, and their sanity a little thinner. Asking at the College of Winterhold turned out to be a disaster, so it's time to fall back and reassess the situation. And it's not good.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Female Dovahkiin | Dragonborn &amp; Kaidan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Starfall [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2088120</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>20</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>A new chapter every two weeks.</p><p>1. This is a 'modded run' (obviously, Kaidan is here). Mostly mods that fit the world to make the game Bethesda made... less Bethesda levels of jank and barebones. Most of all the absolutely pathetic magic system of Skyrim.<br/>2. Lore comes from en.UESP.net.<br/>3. Dragon Language comes from thuum.org<br/>4. If you're here for flashy action, I can do that. If you're here for saucy exploits... ehh. I dunno, come back some time around book two. Maybe. Best you'll find here is a nudge and shrug. Unless you're down for the most platonic of friendships.<br/>5. Don't bother trying to 'diagnose' what the hell is wrong with Starfall. She's a midden fire and Tamriel's most advanced methods of healthcare are literally prayer and herbs.</p><p>3/13/21: Two years of Starfall! And we're only just now getting to poor Kaidan's backstory. The introduction today, and TWO bonus chapters next week. Thanks for reading.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“There is something you’re not telling me, Ervine…” Ancano glared at her. She was trying to discuss the week’s matters with Savos when he had stormed in, undoubtedly from finally breaking into Violet’s room and finding both her and Kaidan gone.</p><p>“The only thing that I neglected to tell you, is that the College of Winterhold is not here to look after children, and all students, faculty, and guests are free to come and go as they please. And honestly, after everything that has happened to them this past week, I wouldn’t blame them if they were frightened away from this place.” Mirabelle sighed heavily.</p><p>“Where. Are. They.” The inquisitor said slowly through grit teeth and dimly glowing fingers.</p><p>“Again. Not here to babysit. I mean, our Master of Daedric Studies has been gone for years. Probably eaten by one.” She rubbed her temples in annoyance and a little bit of pain. Savos sighed and canceled Ancano out again. “Though considering the thorough job Master Violet and Kaidan did to those two dragons and Skytemple, she likely was not eaten.”</p><p>“She has a high probability of returning, Ancano. When, I’m not sure. But please be patient. I sent her to do some field research.” Savos said and drank his tea. “Though, as Kaidan has told me, they have a penchant for getting sidetracked. I certainly understand how. So yes, unfortunately, they could be anywhere.”</p><p>‘Don’t you dare start with me!’ Ancano clenched his hands. “She was still almost <em>dead</em> a few hours ago!”</p><p>“Colette is very good at what she does, despite her… excitability.” Savos nodded.</p><p>Mirabelle bit her lip as she heard Ancano slam the door after himself. “He’s going to be even worse than usual until she returns. I should have Drevis pay him a visit for that little stunt.”</p><p>“I’ll keep him focused on me, then.” The Archmage groaned. Maybe those two were right about permanently getting rid of him…</p><p>*</p><p>Lydia and Kaidan took turns trying to get Starfall to do anything that wasn’t inside of a book. Food wasn’t too difficult, but going outside, going to sleep (“get your papers from my side of the bed”), and making and taking her medicine were ordeals that Kaidan almost had to fight her over.</p><p>“Didn’t you say you had to keep on top of your medicine or else the Hunger and Power would start whispering that you should do awful things?” Kaidan stood over her with his arms crossed.</p><p>“I’m in a safe environment doing what I’m supposed to be doing. It’ll only go wrong if you try to change that. Like by making me go out.”</p><p>“Oi, don’t start pretending now that you’re afraid of going outside.” He frowned.</p><p>“I’m not afraid, I’m busy. And it’s not about the fresh air and light because the windows and vents are open. And having a few days where I don’t feel sluggish and nauseous is refreshing in itself. Let me work.”</p><p>“Wait, your medicine makes you sick?” He squinted at her. “You’ve never told me what’s in it, either.”</p><p>“Somewhat. It’s the compromise of being a little slow and tired but ‘clear’, and feeling like a scared animal with too much pent up energy and no brain to focus it. And one of the ingredients is vampire dust; while excellent in its curative properties, it’s still a relative essence of Daedric and mortal cremains and thus not something to fool around with, which also makes it expensive and dangerous to acquire.” She sighed and finally put her charcoal down. Her voice was already dying down to whispers. “And would it really make a difference for you to know considering you’re, at best, at an apprentice skill level? Do you really want to start lessons on how to grind crab shells fine enough to get full potency, or why if garlic works just as well, I can’t use it as a permanent solution? Here’s a hint, it’s because it comes right back out through my pores. I wouldn’t smell like ‘flowers and storms’ anymore.”</p><p>“Hmm.”</p><p>“Yeah. Anyway, it’s not so much one solution, but several that’s been depending on how I feel or what I can get my hands on. Some of the ingredients are universal, like vampire dust, or easily ordered like crab chitin and various salts, but rare and expensive things like plant roots from Oblivion, or spriggan sap… I don’t even know where the sap comes from, just… it’s a lot for someone who’s not at least an expert.”</p><p>Kaidan nodded slowly.</p><p>Her shoulders drooped. “Where did I lose you?”</p><p>“You didn’t. I already know where spriggan sap comes from. It’s not blood, I’ll tell you that much.” He covered his mouth to hide his snickering.</p><p>She ran her hands down her face. “Fuck’s sake… Kaidan. It seems to me that this is more you becoming bored and needing something to do that’s not worrying over me, than trying to get me to do things when you can see I’m already busy. I can give you something to do. Something that’s not nagging me. You can take Lydia and go pick up that other book, since I work for the damn college now and have to do this research if I want to get paid, so I can pay the rest of you. This’ll get you both out of my house, out of my hair, catch her up to all of this, and see if there’s been any interesting news on this side of the world.”</p><p>He stared at her for a good while. Her annoyance was plain on her face, but so were the dark circles under her eyes. “You know what? Fine. Be back in a few days.”</p><p>“Really?” That was too easy…</p><p>“Yes. I’ll take Lydia, and we’ll go get your book. But in exchange, when we get back, you’re getting out of that bed, and you’re spending a day out. Not getting into trouble, or even doing any work. Just enjoying nature. Collecting your alchemy ingredients. Not being a recluse. Putting your color back in the right places.” He pointed to her tired eyes.</p><p>Her eyes rolled up in her head. “Fffffine. And I have more color than you. Shut up.”</p><p>*</p><p>Once Lydia came back from Dragonsreach (since they’d left her alone for weeks, she’d returned to her guard post), Kaidan explained his plan to her.</p><p>“According to what the librarian wrote down, the book Starfall needs is over at Fellglow Keep, along with a couple others. It’s a few miles northeast of here. Turns out one of the students at the college just walked off with a bunch of books to impress some woman running her own study group? Starfall probably doesn't have to worry much about keeping those books pristine if people can walk out with them and not come back. And of course, for all the threats, the old Orc couldn’t be bothered to stop him himself. So we just have to go out there and get the books back, probably by beating some sense into him.” He sighed. “A nice, simple job. Good to be back to mundane mercenary work.”</p><p>Lydia groaned. “Oh gods, Fellglow Keep. Clear a bunch of bandits out of there and a bunch of rogue wizards move in a few days later. We go in there and kick the wizards out, who’s going to be in there next month? Daedra? Soldiers? Vampires? Who knows?”</p><p>“You’ve been there before?” Kaidan asked.</p><p>“I watched the eastern border for a while. The place gets reported and changes hands a lot. A bunch of underground ruins and a tower, spacious with plenty of places to hide and look out from, and it’s fortified on a cliff. Out of the way, and if whoever moves in wouldn’t keep <em>kidnapping and killing people</em>, nobody would care. On that note, I can go check to see if they have a bounty. I spent all that money you sent fixing the place up.” She shook her head and got up to start gathering supplies.</p><p>He looked around and nodded at all the little homey touches. His glass greatsword was polished up nice and mounted on the wall over the bookshelf. “It looks good. I’ll tell Starfall that if she wants us to come back alive, she’ll need to put together some magic resistance potions.”</p><p>“Bring me the ingredients, then!” She called (and coughed) from upstairs.</p><p>“Tell me what they are, and I’ll get them from Arcadia.” Kaidan replied.</p><p>A few minutes later, a scrap of paper slipped through a gap in the floorboards and almost fell into the hearth, but he grabbed it in the nick of time. “You could have just told me.”</p><p>“I can’t see if you have paper from here.” She said.</p><p>“I would have remembered it.” Or at least he thought, until he unfolded it and saw that the list was a lot longer than he thought it would be, and there were several items that he wasn’t sure about.</p><p>“Want to say it didn’t take three of us more than a day of rounding people up. But that was bandits: a bunch of jerks in ratty furs with cheap swords and maybe a hedge wizard looking for easy money. Not sure how annoying it’s going to be if there’s an entire coven. Or if they’re practicing the ugly stuff like necromancy.” Lydia shuddered.</p><p>“I wonder if I can send a message to get the college to portal Starfall’s horse into the stables.” He said, mildly annoyed with himself at having gotten used to the convenience so quickly.</p><p>“It’s only a day and a half of walking.” Lydia shrugged.</p><p>“I know. Bah. Never mind. Let’s get everything together today and we can leave in the morning.”</p><p>*</p><p>Everyone spent the rest of the day preparing, with the list of supplies split between the three of them. Kaidan brought Starfall as much as he could from her list of alchemy ingredients. Arcadia did not have enough void salts, and she offered to substitute some of the mushrooms (fine) with dartwings (not fine). At least there was spriggan sap (‘heh.’) Not wanting to go all the way back to ask Starfall if that was alright, he trusted the other alchemist at her word and accepted them, anyway.</p><p>Lydia took her and Kaidan’s equipment to be maintenanced, then went and checked with Commander Caius across the road to see if there was any news related to Fellglow. While there wasn’t a bounty, he gave her the nod that there would be something waiting for her when she brought back proof that those magical pests were evicted.</p><p>Starfall begrudgingly cleaned up and went to Dragonsreach. That was the only enchanting table she knew of in the city, and she and Farengar were the only mages. It wasn’t so much that she didn’t want to ask for permission; it was that she’d have to probably make conversation with the condescending court mage. Would he still do that though, considering she’d proven herself a master scholar? But it should only take an hour, versus Kaidan’s endless worrying and fussing. Whatever had happened when they got out of Winterhold had scared everyone (and Ancano especially) so badly that Kaidan had to get her away from the college when she wasn’t even awake to fight him about it. ‘He killed the dragon, but then the dragon still shouted at him and I couldn’t reach him in time…’</p><p>She suddenly felt nauseous, shaky, and needed to sit down. There were some benches in the city circle and she gratefully flopped down under the big, dead tree. She leaned back and put her hands over her face. “I can’t be that bad off. I made sure that nothing was fatal or long term...”</p><p>“Are you feeling alright?” Violet didn’t even see the woman in priestess robes kneeling down behind her bench. She was tending the still living plants and flowers at the base of the dead tree.</p><p>“No.”</p><p>“Hmm,” the priestess hummed at her while holding her hand out over Violet. A dim, white light washed over her. “Well, I can see that you’re being tended to already, but something much more dire than your body is ailing you.”</p><p>“I’m tired and weak, is all. It’s been a rough…” she counted on her fingers and gave up. “...couple of months.”</p><p>“The war has hurt everyone.” She nodded. “I’ve seen everyone from soldiers to farmers. Even the land itself is suffering.”</p><p>“Oh, um. I didn’t mean the war, but it hasn’t helped, I guess.” Violet rubbed her face. It took a lot not to just dump all of her problems on this stranger.</p><p>“Hmm. I think I’ve seen you once or twice before. Did you just move to Whiterun?” The priestess sat upright from her gardening.</p><p>“Sort of. I’m sorry. I just needed a minute to gather myself. I need to go.” Violet struggled to get up, then stretched. That was a mistake; her head swam and she nearly fell back into sitting.</p><p>“The temple of Kynareth is open to you, at any time. I’m Danica Pure-Spring, if you wish to talk about your troubles, or if you need healing.” She said and went back to her task.</p><p>Violet nodded and made her way up the far too many stairs to Dragonsreach. Since it had been quiet on that side of the world, the guards finally gave her some peace and mostly ignored her. As soon as she was inside, she cast a refresh spell over herself to feel slightly better and made her way over to the court wizard’s study, taking a goblet of water off of the banquet table as she passed. More food and water would probably help with the weakness. She drank the whole thing in one shot and went up to Farengar, who was at his alchemy table and had his back to her.</p><p>“Evening, Farengar. Can I borrow your enchanting table? Yours was the only one I could recall around the city.”</p><p>He looked up startled but calmed when he recognized her. “It is the only one in the city, unless Arcadia’s hiding one in her attic. I didn’t know you were an enchantress.”</p><p>“I… I’m not, really. I can do simple, common enchantments. I don’t suppose you’re proficient with magic resistance charms?”</p><p>“A bit, yes. You’re looking to make something for yourself? I would have thought you’d have something more powerful than a physical charm.” He snuffed the fire under his alembic so his distillation wouldn’t burn while he was talking to her.</p><p>“It’s not for me. But I’m sending my companion and… housecarl out on an errand, and I can’t be there to keep them out of trouble if someone decides to try and set them on fire or curse them. I have some gems and jewelry, but I’d like for it to be a lot stronger than I think I can produce.” She opened her belt pouch and pulled out the treasure she had collected from Saarthal and the Forsaken Cave: a silver amulet with a ruby to focus it, and a matching silver ruby ring. Kaidan had given them back noting that those were the ones he wanted enchanted ‘since you like them so much’.</p><p>Farengar nodded approvingly up until she pulled the soul gems out of the pouch. The Greater gem was normal, but the Grand gem… He pointed to the silver-blue crystal with a black center and miasma coming off of it. “Where did you get that? And is this black matter <em>blood</em>?”</p><p>She sighed and picked it up, rolling it in her palms with enough fire that the blood turned to char. “I killed a lich. Somehow. It’s hazy. What can you do with those? I want the Greater to the ring and the Grand to the amulet. Simple resistance to all forms of magic. If I were decent, I’d want it to block all, but I think the best I can do is just to make sure that nothing that comes their way turns out to be instantly fatal.”</p><p>“I’m sorry, did you say that you killed a <em>lich</em>?! Where?!” He nearly shouted.</p><p>“Not here, so don’t worry about it. Please don’t shout. I’m not feeling very well. I’m still trying to heal.” She rubbed her face. “Can you do better or not?”</p><p>“Oh… hmm…” Farengar carefully picked up the corrupted soul gem and turned it over. “By the Divines… Even with this damnable thing, I don’t think I could, to be honest.”</p><p>“That’s fair,” she sighed.</p><p>She took a few minutes to gather and center herself, then drank an enchanting potion she'd brought, and put the amulet in the enchanting table’s center depression.</p><p>“<em>Hi mindol fahdoni kos zaamiil, arkh nu hi los ok</em>.” (1) Violet hissed and drew the appropriate runes with her fingers over the smaller outer depressions. When she pressed the soul gem to the transfer crystal at the back of the table, the gem crumbled to dust and the amulet at the center of the table pulled the runes of light, the lich’s soul, and most of her magicka into itself. The amulet’s ruby took on a black sheen and she smirked as it spun in her grasp. Kaidan first reacted to her ability to take and reform souls with disgust. He’d definitely think this was awful, especially if he’d heard that bit of spite she’d attached to it.</p><p>“You even speak the language of the dragons?” He shivered, feeling dread wash over him after hearing those words despite not knowing what they meant. He’d seen and done his own enchanting hundreds of times, but her style was so fascinating. Was it hers, or was it the way she was taught in Hammerfell?</p><p>“A curse for the one who nearly killed us.” She said simply and prepared the ring the same way, except without the curse. The ring was slightly less powerful, but still effective enough. “…Can I borrow your chair for a moment?”</p><p>He barely had time to say yes before he had to slide it behind her. “Are you alright?”</p><p>She fell into it and hoped she wasn’t shaking too badly. “Fighting a lich is very difficult. And horrible. And draining. I thought I was fine, until I walked all the way across the city and up several flights of stairs. I just need to make my way back home. Ugh, I swear if I have to hear Kaidan’s mouth about this, he’s not getting the amulet. He’s on his own.”</p><p>“Hmm. Here.” He put his palm to her forehead and ribbons of yellow healing light washed over her. “That should get you home, at least. It’s good to have another mage to discuss matters with. I’m sorry I misjudged you. Once you’re better, I’d like to talk more about the Dragonstone you brought me.”</p><p>‘You’re being too nice. You’re only sucking up to me because you realized how powerful I am.’ She sighed with relief and a little gratitude, anyway. “We’ll see. Thank you.”</p><p>She collected her things and snuck back out, not wanting to confront the jarl in case being a thane meant she actually had responsibilities.</p><p>*</p><p>Dinner made her feel a little better (Kaidan was also being too nice and making too much of her favorite foods ever since she woke up), but afterwards, she didn’t feel like going back to her work. She put her pillow behind her back and hugged around Kaidan’s as her mind started to drift. As he came upstairs to check on her (and figure out how to get his pillow back), she watched him absorb himself in his tasks. He seemed to be fine, even after that days long ordeal.</p><p>“Are you really alright?” She asked.</p><p>He shrugged, but didn’t look at her and kept preparing for tomorrow’s trip. “Mirabelle and Colette said I wasn’t as bad off as you, even though I had to relive a bunch of nightmares over and over, was haunted, drowned, shocked, shouted at, and knocked around a bit. They were able to heal me easily enough.”</p><p>‘That’s… not… Dammit, Kai.’ She rubbed her face. “I know I took the dragon’s soul that you killed, because I can feel it, and that should have healed me. But instead, I haven’t felt this ...sick in a long time. And I don’t remember much of what happened after we left the tombs. I don’t expect you to know what happened because you were busy fighting the dragon, and then you… were…, but…”</p><p>‘Oh no.’ Kaidan braced himself and was already trying to figure out the best way not to scare her.</p><p>“I vaguely remember someone from the college was there at the end. Did they see what happened?”</p><p>He paused for a moment, then sat facing her on his side of the bed. “The Archmage. Savos Aren. Turns out he was watching us. And it’s complete bullshit that he didn’t lift a finger to help us considering how close we came to getting killed, but whatever. He said that when you saw me fall, you must have thought I’d died. You started speaking in Draconic, so he didn’t know what you were saying, except you shouted something so loud, the world shook and you stopped using magic just so you could tear into Beinaarkh with your bare claws. You stabbed Beinaarkh in the face with a soul gem and he turned to dust. ...I think because you used your Voice so much in such a short time, that something else fully took over.”</p><p>Violet curled tighter around his pillow and hid her face. Without looking at her hands, they shook as scales and talons of ice grew over her hands for only a moment before cracking, falling off, and leaving little wet spots on the blanket. She was so stupid! She was so angry and let everything out of control without her medicine after days and days. She leaned too hard into magic she hadn’t mastered or even understood fully yet. She was so far gone for those minutes that nothing mattered. It was getting even worse, and she wasn’t doing a damn thing about it. That stopped first thing in the morning. She was too tired tonight.</p><p>“Sssshhhit. It took all of my energy to get up to Dragonsreach so I could make these for you and Lydia. Farengar had to heal me so I could get back.” She pulled the amulet and ring out of her front pocket and tossed them on the bed between them.</p><p>Kaidan picked them up and studied the two pieces of jewelry. Looking over at her, she was back to looking drained. “Thank you. But do you need us to stay?”</p><p>She shook her head. “Don’t do that. I don’t need you worrying yourself even more. I’ll worry about me since I’m the only one who can fix this. Get back on my medicine. See what… something else… is and how to purge it. Could just be I’m still weak from overexerting and sleeping for a week.”</p><p>“I tried asking the others for help before they threw us out, but there just wasn’t enough time.” He sighed.</p><p>Violet rubbed her face and grit her teeth. “I swear, when we get back, I’m going to kill Ancano. Just dust his ass, too.”</p><p>“Think about Ancano later. Think about healing and the work you have in front of you now. …And Starfall?”</p><p>“Mm?”</p><p>He took a deep breath and tried to find the words. “Why do you get so… no. …That first dragon at the college hurt you and Tiku, and that only made you angry enough to torture it. That was <em>you</em>. But then you thought I’d died, and it literally made you lose your mind enough that it sounds like there wasn’t any of <em>you</em> left. Why?”</p><p>Violet shied away from him and the question. Her nails dug into the pillow hard enough they could hear the cloth strain.</p><p>“I understand your fear. I understand your exhaustion and being at your limit for patience. I understand your anger and hatred at how awful and unfair all of this is. I even understand the …grief.” In its own way, this was even worse than whatever she called love or possessiveness and it made him look away from her. “But what Aren described wasn’t any of those things. I know those monsters in your head don’t give a damn about me, and probably wish you would ‘accidentally’ tear me apart in one of your …‘moods’.”</p><p>“I don’t remember what happened.” She wouldn’t look at him.</p><p>“It wasn’t that pit or eye inside you, was it?”</p><p>“I don’t know.” She was near smothering herself with his pillow.</p><p>“Fine, but you’re going to need to try and remember before it happens again.” He got up and took the charms with him. “Maybe while we’re gone, you can at least make it to Belethor’s and buy more pillows so you can stop stealing mine.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>(1) You thought my friend was to be your slave, and now you are his.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Starfall isn't here, time for the tea.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Starfall didn’t even stir when Kaidan got up a bit before dawn. He checked quickly to make sure she was alright, didn’t find anything out of the ordinary except for the table in their room full of freshly made potions for him and Lydia, and got ready to go. Lydia was already up as well; he nodded at her guard’s discipline and left Starfall a note that they should be back in around three or four days and (half-jokingly) not to go getting into trouble. As they headed towards the door, he asked Lydia about her fighting style.</p><p>She turned around to show off the standard issue steel sword and shield strapped to her side and back respectively. Sharpened and well maintained, but not exactly something Kaidan was sure would be enough if Starfall decided to have her along, later. “Simple sword and shield are how I was trained. All you really need as a guard, and rarely even that most times. At least ‘til the dragons. To be honest, I don’t envy you mercenaries.”</p><p>“How’d you figure me for a mercenary?” he frowned.</p><p>“I’ve seen you collecting bounties at Dragonsreach. You’re kind of memorable,” she said sheepishly.</p><p>Kaidan’s eyes rolled, but he pushed it off as he was used to doing and pulled the Daedric shield off the wall next to Starfall’s ceremonial axe. “Try this.”</p><p>Lydia’s eyes went wide as she took the much larger, heavier, and more intimidating shield from him. “I mean, it might take a bit of getting used to…”</p><p>“I can’t really use it because I’m trained in heavy weapons, though it did save my life in a pinch. Also, I’m sure Starfall wouldn’t care if you took the axe, she doesn’t need physical weapons at all.” He pointed a thumb towards the ebony weapon.</p><p>“Oh, I couldn’t! I mean, I really couldn’t. If anyone in town saw me with it, it’d be both of our hides. My sword is fine. I keep it good and sharp.”</p><p>He shrugged. “I suppose… Yeah. We’re only going to go knock around some idiot book thieves. It’s just that I’m used to whatever ungodly horrors that Starfall attracts. Ready?”</p><p>Lydia frowned. “What do you mean by ‘ungodly horrors’? The dragons?”</p><p>“Among other things. I’ll explain on the way.”</p><p>*</p><p>Once they were well on the road north into Whiterun’s farming district, Kaidan decided they were out of the way enough for her to catch up. “So… how much do you know about the legend of the Dragonborn?”</p><p>Lydia hummed in thought. “Not much, to be honest. Just the basics. Ancient heroes like Tiber Septim, who have the blood of dragons, Martin Septim who sacrificed himself to shut the gates of Oblivion, and the old Nordic history of how the Dragon War was fought and won by great warriors who could shout the dragons’ magic back at them. But I’m guessing what was going around in the barracks the past few months isn’t all that correct.”</p><p>“Hmm. Depends on what it was. Starfall does lend herself to some outlandish rumors. I suppose I can start from a beginning, if you want.”</p><p>“Depends on what ‘a beginning’ is.”</p><p>“There’s a few. There’s the beginning where the dragons came here thousands of years ago to enslave humanity from Akavir or Atmora, depending on who’s telling the tale, the beginning where Akatosh made a covenant with humans to create the first Dragonborn, the beginning where humans had to be taught how to shout like dragons, and then there’s the beginning where Starfall and I woke up in a secret prison getting beaten senseless by the Thalmor.” Kaidan realized saying all that aloud was far too many beginnings.</p><p>“Oh, well, if you start as far back as you can, it’ll fill the time to get to Fellglow.”</p><p>“I can do that, though I’m going to admit that the oldest stuff I’m not too familiar with, myself. I wasn’t that much of a history scholar until I needed to keep up with Starfall.”</p><p>“It’s alright. I’m not exactly a noble with a bunch of free time to read, either.” Lydia couldn’t really see the short, odd, and now very sick Redguard back at Breezehome being able to outdo this Outlander at anything, but she kept quiet. The Divines were involved, which meant things probably weren’t clear cut. She’d heard them tell their tale of Bleak Falls Barrow when they were at Dragonsreach, and even that seemed far-fetched. The guards should have been called ages ago if there were that many undead walking around right under their noses.</p><p>“Hmm. How to start, then…”</p><p>Kaidan didn’t profess to be the best historian, but Lydia was still able to keep up and have her questions answered when needed. Most of the day passed quickly as he talked and they admired the eastern fields and foothills of the hold. He admitted to her that he was an Akaviri and his people had written the prophecy that he and Starfall were a part of, though she was still trying to figure out just what they were supposed to do to fulfill it. His ancestors weren’t exactly clear on that front, not that prophecies ever were. Actually, the Akaviri weren’t clear on anything, even who or what they were. Up until Starfall had found him, everyone including him had just assumed he was some sort of half-breed of human and everything from Dunmer to Daedra, and any books talking about them never mentioned humans, just various beasts and monsters.</p><p>“You look human enough though, save for the eyes. No offense.”</p><p>Before, he would have looked away from her or hidden them, but a bit of Starfall’s captivation had helped to curb the habit when he wasn’t in danger. “Starfall thinks that something happened to the Akaviri to get them erased from history. Talos knows the High Elves hated them, enough. We learned enough that until the Great War thirty years ago, there were more, but were wiped out by the Thalmor. Now she’s trying to find if there’s anyone else left.”</p><p>“The High Elves hate everyone. They probably don’t even like each other, much,” she scoffed.</p><p>“It’s some kind of awful joke how persistent they are. Everyone hates the Aldmeri Dominion and to be honest are perfectly in the right to give them a good boot in the arse.”</p><p>Lydia raised her eyebrow. “So you’re a Stormcloak?”</p><p>He laughed dryly. “No. I may have been raised a Nord, but everyone else just sees an Outlander. Ulfric tolerated my presence because I follow the Dragonborn, whom he respects, but he’s also likely going to try and manipulate her the longer we’re here. His war is going to get both Skyrim and the Empire fucking laid out for the Aldmeri Dominion. She wants no part of it.”</p><p>“You met with Ulfric Stormcloak?” she asked in awe.</p><p>“Aye. When we went to go collect the bounty money from the dragon attacking Windhelm. Then she threw a fit and froze his banquet table when he said he couldn’t help her. I had to stay behind and fix it.” He ran his hand over his face.</p><p>She covered her mouth. “Oh, no.”</p><p>He hesitated a bit. “…It’s an awful burden being Dragonborn. Everyone wants a piece of her and rarely gives anything back. It wears down on her. Which is why she put us out of the house like rowdy children. I’m hoping she’ll have the sense to do the work she promised and heal herself; more likely she’s turning the house over trying to find the instructions to make a portal back to Winterhold.” He shook his head and muttered, “Daft thing isn’t going to find ‘em, though.”</p><p>“Huh.” She side-eyed him.</p><p>He heard that tone. “It’s for her own good.”</p><p>“Do you do that often?”</p><p>“You mean keep her from getting herself or someone else killed? Every godsdamned day,” he grumbled.</p><p>“So, you’re sworn to carry her burdens, as well.” What Kaidan was describing was sounding like a lot more than just being a simple bodyguard…</p><p>“There is a lot of swearing, yes.”</p><p>*</p><p>They’d traveled for a few hours more until the eastern watchtower was a few miles in the distance, but the sun was also starting to descend into the horizon. Lydia pointed directly east while they were stopped at a strangely empty intersection.</p><p>“While we could make it to Fellglow in the middle of the night, it’d be a bad idea. There wouldn’t be anywhere for us to rest without getting found out. So, I think we should camp out at the watchtower. The other problem is that hill over there. Look up.”</p><p>Kaidan followed where she was pointing, and saw several vultures circling. “Something nasty is in that cave.”</p><p>“Falmer. Every once in a while, they toss a bunch of bones and trash out of the cave and the vultures get it. Another reason why it’s not safe anywhere near there. But they don’t come too close, and we don’t want to risk too many of our people getting killed, or eaten, or whatever they do.” She shuddered.</p><p>“Wait.” He pulled out his map. “There’s a dragon mound just north of it. I remember this place. A few months ago, Starfall wandered off to investigate the grave in the middle of the night and wound up attracting a Falmer scout with its pet. It almost took her liver. Lessons were learned.”</p><p>“Wait, she can fight dragons but a single Falmer nearly killed her? How—”</p><p>“She’d never seen a Falmer before and didn’t know they don’t have <em>faces</em>, just lots of <em>teeth</em>. It ambushed her in the middle of the night while she was barely paying attention. She’d also never seen the giant bugs they keep. Nobody was happy that night. I’m surprised she was able to sleep at all the week after.”</p><p>“I never made any assumptions that being a hero like the Dragonborn was some glamorous, fun, or easy thing, but you’re making it sound…”</p><p>“Like a giant pain in the arse? That’s because it is. All of it.” Kaidan realized that he was starting to sound bitter and angry like Starfall and sighed. “It’s the two of us wandering all across Skyrim on a long term, possibly suicidal and impossible mission. Already admitted we have no idea what we’re doing and to what end, but we’re trying to find out. She was a healer before all this, and it’s really hurting her heart that she might never be one again, because all she ever gets to do anymore is kill whatever gets in our way. Not everyone wants to be saved, but she’ll still try. Shit, most people here don’t want to be saved, and definitely not by two Outlanders.</p><p>“Despite them burning down half the country, some people still don’t believe in dragons, and in turn, us. All that matters to both sides is surviving another day. History books don’t have those kinds of details. Not to mention the Thalmor and Divines know who else are after us thinking we’re some kind of threat to them. So, I don’t fault you and wouldn’t try to stop you if you want no part of it. Balgruuf wasn’t right in assigning you to all of <em>this</em>, not knowing all of <em>that</em>.”</p><p>Lydia simply kept quiet and mulled it over for a while. “No wonder you called Fellglow an easy job.”</p><p>“Yeah.”</p><p>“Let’s see if we can get to the watchtower before dark.”</p><p>Since Kaidan had been talking all day, Lydia had decided to take over in the evening when they got to the watchtower. She introduced him to the night watch tasked with making sure nothing raided the farmlands, or nothing from the east decided to make trouble. With help from the guards at the top spotting, Kaidan was able to catch an elk and provide dinner for everyone. Without getting in the way, the two exchanged news for shelter and talked throughout the night.</p><p>*</p><p>“And you’re saying she did… <em>that</em>.” Justiciar Estormo looked over the balcony at the crumbled remains of Skytemple Island and the giant whirlpool in its place. The currents had calmed considerably since the incident though, and lazily stirred small ice floes towards the center.</p><p>“Her, the Akaviri, a lich, and a dragon,” Ancano said, tapping his fingers on the stone railing. The only thing that could have made that sentence worse was if a Daedric Prince was somehow involved. “And you saw the other dragon’s corpse on the shore below, and the one frozen solid on the other side.”</p><p>Ambassador Elenwen had enough on her plate back at the Embassy trying to keep the war even, so she’d sent one of her agents to confirm Ancano’s (somewhat fevered and outlandish) reports. Ancano hadn’t managed to get much else from Archmage Aren in that time, and still nothing on where Starfall had gone. He was left wondering if he truly didn’t know. It wasn’t usually so difficult to get anything out of anyone. Sooner or later, someone’s tongue always slipped. But even J’zargo had nothing for him.</p><p>“And the <em>Akaviri</em> is putting thoughts in her head about the <em>Empire</em>. Someone who can do <em>that</em> does <em>not</em> need seditious thoughts in her head.” The inquisitor whispered through grit teeth.</p><p>Estormo looked over and frowned at him. “How can he be putting thoughts in her head? His report says he didn’t even know his own heritage when we interrogated him.”</p><p>“She likely told him and now these two destructive monsters are fueling each other’s delusions. She came here to learn about why she was dragged into this Dragonborn business. Instead, all she’s done is create chaos.”</p><p>The justiciar rubbed his temples. “I’m thinking whoever thought it was a good idea to keep them in the same undisclosed location has created a lot of work for the rest of us.”</p><p>“What do you want me to do with them should they return?”</p><p>“Nothing.” Estormo said. “For now, focus on the artifact. The artifact is here now, despite the administration here dragging their feet. Something needs to be done with it before the Synod returns and sees it.”</p><p>Ancano groaned at that. The Synod’s only saving grace in this instance was that they <em>couldn’t</em> get anything done in a timely manner. “Despite the others seeing the inside of the artifact, it’s more than likely that it’s just going to sit there uselessly for the foreseeable future. It’s as if they’re afraid to go near it now. Aren says he sent Starfall to go find research on it, but considering she was incoherent and near dead when she killed the lich, I doubt that.”</p><p>“I’m sure that you’ll have no trouble conducting your own research, then. Since they have so much trouble stopping anyone from doing whatever they want around here.” He scoffed. “I’ll take over the task of finding them. You should have stolen or deactivated the portals from the Hall of Countenance. Would have made it much harder for them, and much easier for me.”</p><p>Ancano rolled his eyes. “They’re secured to the shelves and the only way to stop the enchantments would be to destroy them. You wouldn’t have been able to arrive here except by a bloody cart if I had done that. Besides, I’m sure one of the faculty, probably Ervine or that lunatic Marence, was helping them.”</p><p>“Fine. Unfortunately, seeing all this in person doesn’t make any of this much clearer,” Estormo said as he took his leave.</p><p>*</p><p>Violet stared into the small bowl of her blood on her alchemy worktable. She woke up around mid-morning, irritable that she could finally sleep in (and not hear Kaidan’s worrying) as she pleased, only for pain and the need to be productive pushing her out of bed. Everyone was gone from the house, it was a nice day and the windows were open, she’d made a nice cup of tea (this one was a recommendation from Arcadia), moved all the library books down into her study's bookshelf, brewed both medicine for her head and the pain, and there was nothing pressing at the moment other than figuring out why she wasn’t healing properly.</p><p>First, write down everything that had happened for her to arrive at this point. She’d absorbed two dragons in the span of a week, when usually she went about a month between souls. She had used her Voice so much in the span of a few hours that despite having another soul, it was still difficult for her to talk much and she was still incredibly sore. The entire ordeal with Old Winterhold was the obvious culprit, but which part was the breaking point?</p><p>Days of wandering in a sunless, deadly, cold, wet, haunted, cursed city destroyed by a lich with a pet undead dragon with only enough supplies and medicine meant to last for a few short hours instead of several days. Doing only the bare minimum to keep going just to make the whole thing go faster. Drawing on power she not only didn’t have, but getting desperate and angry enough to slide into territories she knew she wasn’t supposed to touch. Fractured and/or sprained foot, hand, skull, jaw, spine, neck, and ribs, <em>again</em>. Kaidan nearly died twice. Inhaled a bunch of grave dust and human cremains. Didn’t bother checking for internal bleeding, just reset everything until the worst pain was gone. Mixing old mysticism, necromancy, and new restoration (‘I should write a paper on this, get it published’). Experimental, dangerous as fuck blood magic. Mixed that blood with a five-thousand-year-old lich’s. Converting that mixed blood into magicka just to… Ooh. That was probably it.</p><p>‘You are lazy and a shit healer. You need to stop cutting corners.’ Violet put her head down on the desk for several moments of wallowing.</p><p>The wafting steam and aroma of the tea helped her refocus just a little, while the healing herbs weren’t concentrated enough to do much other than be tasty with honey. The next step would be to perform triage, again. She took a look at the bowl of blood again, solidified it into a hard crystal, then held it up against a magelight attached to the center of her desk. Casting her Detect Death spell, there was corruption; the dark magic manifested as making the blood have disgusting, greasy flecks of black. Slowly pulsing her healing magic wasn’t enough to purify it. Pulsing the warding fire that destroyed necromantic magic did the trick. She did not like what that meant for her in the next few hours. And she’d have to do the purification first or else any new blood she created would become corrupted as well.</p><p>After that, she’d have to clear out her lungs. She’d had the sense to cover her face and use her shield when she cremated Beinaarkh’s lair, but the ashes were still all over her clothes, skin, and hair when she'd left. And even though she’d bathed several times since then, she was still finding dust in places. It was worse than being out in the sands for a solid month. Once those two things were done, everything else should start healing faster.</p><p>“Mirabelle and Colette could have at least gotten started on that for me,” Violet grumbled to herself.</p><p>It was going to take a lot of potions and magicka to run enough purifying magic throughout her entire body, while withstanding the pain. Maybe it would be best if Kaidan didn't see all the notes and records about this. He understood far more than he gave himself credit for, and reading the details of just how badly she'd managed to mess herself up would just add to his frustrations with her.</p><p>One, gather everything together. Two, make the appropriate restoration and healing potions. She really would have preferred what she’d put on the list yesterday, but if Arcadia didn’t have it, no sense in being angry about it. Putting the circle in her study seemed like the best place with the least amount of clutter, though it wasn’t as if arcane light burned anything inorganic. Three, drink a lot of water and the potions. One to power her restoration, two for the pain, and one off to the side so immediately after her body would work harder and faster on healing. Four, last check of the notes and draw the ward. Yellow-white threads draped from her fingers and made a circle filled with runes and arrows pointing in and outward.</p><p>She was never asked to do purification rituals back home because there wasn’t any need, and she wasn’t quite in enough trouble to get banished to guarding remote tombs from robbers and necromancers (not that there had been many of those, recently). She was surprised her elders didn’t try to send her off to do that job just to be rid of her, though. Before the ward was complete, she carefully sat inside the circle, closed her eyes (‘don't want to go blind again’), then drew the final runes around the outside. Unfortunately, the two potions plus bracing for the fact that she was effectively setting her bones and blood on fire still weren’t quite enough.</p><p>*</p><p>“What in Oblivion was that?!” Adrienne the blacksmith looked up from her work to shield her eyes from the flash coming from the house next door. The screaming and swearing was a whole other thing she wasn’t even sure she wanted to know about. There was now a nice, big, ugly dent in the front panel of the bracer she was working on and she winced at her mistake.</p><p>“That would be the new thane.” The gate guard nearby groaned. “Crazy Redguard <em>mage</em> who’s been causing us grief on and off for months. Turns out she’s Dragonborn. Lives with her Outlander bodyguard and poor Lydia got assigned to her, except they left early this morning. Must have left her home by herself. Hope she doesn’t burn the house down. I don’t get paid to put out fires.”</p><p>“Oh, I think I met the Outlander a while back. Huge, pale, Dunmer-eyed man?” She asked, wondering how in the world that could have happened.</p><p>“That’s the one. Seems to be decent enough; tries to keep her out of trouble. They came back from gods know where a over a week ago looking like they’d both been chewed on by dragons or something.”</p><p>“You did just say she was Dragonborn. Huh. Never really thought much about those old stories, myself. Just as long as she doesn’t drag them into the city, or turn into one. However it works.”</p><p>“Means she can use the old magic that the dragons use. Thankfully, that bit a few minutes ago wasn’t it.” The guard laughed.</p><p>*</p><p>Violet eventually snapped out of her catatonic state several minutes later and shakily felt around beside her for the dark red potion on the floor. It already had the cork off and she slowly drank, trying not to spill it.</p><p>‘<em>Still</em> not as bad as the Dremora digging around in my rib cage, though.’</p><p>When she opened her eyes and sat up, the ward was gone, and she’d coughed (more like screamed) out what looked to be a lot of soot. It was too soon to know if that did the trick, and she still had to clear her lungs out. That one could wait until tomorrow. She pulled herself up into her chair and put her head down on the desk again until she’d gotten enough strength back. Her now cold tea was kind of refreshing, and helped to wash out the horrible taste of the potion. Sabercat eyes. She shuddered.</p><p>One thing down.</p>
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<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The Fellglow Library is probably the worst branch in the hold.</p>
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    <p>Kaidan and Lydia left the watchtower with the guard shift change first thing in the morning, but went west instead of south with everyone else. The field’s colors were starting to turn so late in the season, and Kaidan mused that Starfall probably would have appreciated how much easier it was to see all the flowers and herbs. They gave a wide berth to the dark cave with unsettling noises of Falmer echoing out of it.</p><p>He finally got a good look at the dragon grave that Starfall had gone to investigate all those months ago, and found that there really wasn’t anything out of the ordinary about it. It was just a stone mound. They still had no idea what was causing them to rise up. Something more powerful than a master necromancer. Not really his problem at the moment.</p><p>A few hours east of the Falmer cave was a rundown fortress with a collapsed watchtower, and the two warriors hung back a bit so they weren’t immediately noticed. A lone, black-clad mage sat at the top, most likely very bored and hadn’t signed up for guard duty. Though why need a guard if they were only doing simple studies that seemed to require stealing library books? He knew there was little point trying to sneak past her; both he and Lydia were wearing heavy gear that they’d learned to tune out the various clinks and clanks from their movement. They’d get caught sooner or later. There was also something sort of ‘wrong’ about being the one to throw the first punch (or in this case, an arrow to the throat which would be much safer for the two of them). It wasn’t like they were bandits; they probably weren’t even that tough if they’d run away from or got kicked out of the college.</p><p>“Oi. Did your captain mention anything about dead or alive?” Kaidan asked.</p><p>Lydia shrugged. “Not really. He just said get rid of them. Whether that’s kicking them out or taking their heads off kind of depends on the situation.”</p><p>“Let’s see what happens then.” He carefully made his way closer, but stayed out of fireball range. “Oi! Mage!”</p><p>The Nord woman jolted out of her daydreaming and quickly turned to find him. “What are you doing here?! Beat it!”</p><p>He rolled his eyes. “Can’t. Looking for someone named Orthorn. Was told this was the last place he was seen. Need to talk to him.”</p><p>“What are you, stupid? I said fuck off!” She shouted and gestured her hand up in the air.</p><p>‘Godsdamned warlocks. Try to be civil...’ Kaidan thought to himself. He pulled his bow out and was about to just turn her into a pincushion when it quickly became very hot and bright just beside him. He jumped out of the way just as another mage and his flame atronach ran around the corner of the broken tower and started throwing fire.</p><p>Lydia already had her weapons ready, knowing full well they weren’t going to be hospitable and quickly ran up to bash the atronach in the face with her shield. It hissed like crackling wood at her and tried to wrench the shield from her grasp. She snatched it back and offered it a blade to the chest, instead. She was holding her own against the atronach, but it would have been a lot easier if her new shield was balanced and didn’t pull all the weight off to one side. She’d pried a lot of its torso armor off and it was bleeding lava quickly, but another slice across its face plate to knock it off, and it finally collapsed to the ground and exploded into a formless puddle of fire.</p><p>Kaidan ducked out of the line of fire of the mage on top of the tower. Okay, maybe they weren’t at the college for a good reason. The fire mage tried to get some distance by running to the middle of the courtyard, then started rolling orange flames in his hands. By the time he launched the fireball, Kaidan had exchanged it for an arrow. He put his arm up to shield his face, and was only mildly relieved that all the magic protection that Starfall had given him was working. Hot, but not actually damaging. The arrow pierced the mage’s leg, dropping him to the ground. Another two would go into his side and gut during the pause.</p><p>Kaidan knew Lydia didn’t have a bow so he’d have to take care of the mage on top of the tower. He leaned from around the crumbling wall to get a look. A fireball nearly blew his head off, but that just meant that he had a few seconds to shoot while she tried to get her magicka back. He tried again to aim and another two smaller fires erupted at his feet, making him jump backwards. Ah, so she didn’t have the same problem Starfall did, though these were simple fireballs while Starfall probably would have blown the entire keep off the map by now. One more time, then. This time though, before he could take a shot, the woman screamed and there was the sickening crunch of a body hitting the ground from too high up.</p><p>“What the?” Kaidan's eyebrows went up as one guard had been replaced with another; Lydia had snuck up behind the mage and shoved her off of the tower.</p><p>She waved at him and made her way back down. “She was too busy trying to pick you off, so I went around the front.”</p><p>“Good work.” He nodded and went to check to see if either of the bodies had any information like notes (it was too much to hope that they were just casually reading the books he needed while being lousy lookouts.) One did have some pocket change, but that was all. “Bah.”</p><p>“Hey, wanna go through the secret entrance, or bash in the front door? Honestly, even though it doesn’t seem like a great idea to start in the dungeons, there’s also some storage rooms down here to ‘confiscate’ from.” She walked over to a stairwell leading down under the broken tower and waggled her eyebrows.</p><p>He was ready to ask just how often the guards went around ‘confiscating’ things. Maybe Starfall should ease up on doing dodgy things while they were in town, even if she was a thane. “You’re the one who’s been here before. I’m sure you know all the good spots.”</p><p>“They probably moved the traps around, though.” She kept her shield up in one hand and opened the door with the other.</p><p>“Great.” Kaidan said.</p><p>*</p><p>Even though it was dry and bright outside, as soon as Lydia and Kaidan descended the stairs, they were in the dark and ankle deep in water. It was going to make a lot of noise as they sloshed through it.</p><p>“It’s fine. Not like we’re spies on a stealth mission. Just need to be careful at corners.” She shrugged.</p><p>Kaidan trudged on behind her. All this water must have come from an aquifer, but the river was further to the southeast and much lower than they were at present. He watched as a fish spotted them and quickly swam away.</p><p>As soon as they found themselves in the basement hall with the fish, it flopped away scared, startling someone on the above balcony. A mage peered over the railing and scowled. “Ah. More test subjects!”</p><p>“Test subjects? Just what are they doing—” Kaidan’s eyes went wide as two giant spiders skittered along the wall and down the stairs. Oh, gods. Please don’t let Lydia be afraid of these things, too.</p><p>She was not. She quickly met them at the top of the stairs to get out of the water and bashed one backwards into a corner. They both focused on her now and tried casting webbing to slow her down, except the shield easily collected up all the sticky threads. Kaidan quickly remembered that mages usually equal ice and lightning and followed her up before he was electrocuted or frozen to the spot. She was handling the spiders, he’d need to take care of the mage before someone caught a spear or fireball to the back.</p><p>Kaidan rushed the mage, but before he could close the gap, the mage formed a spear and launched it where it was too close to be dodged. It crashed and crumbled against his chest plates, but the exploded shards wedged into the leather above the plates and under his chin, digging in like little needles. Kaidan shouted in anger and punched him in the jaw, and when the mage’s hands flew up to protect (what was left of) his face, the sword twisted into his gut. Hopefully this wasn’t that Orthorn idiot, not that anyone said anything about bringing him back alive. A few more seconds and he slumped over into a heap on the floor.</p><p>One of the spiders was already dead and crumpled upside down at the bottom of the stairs, but the second one seemed to only fight harder at seeing the other one and its master die. It hissed and spat at Lydia, waving its forelegs trying to get around her shield.</p><p>“Bad spider! No!” She kept hacking at whatever made its way around her shield until she was close enough to finish it off with a sword through its eyes. It popped off of the wall and flopped over in a heap. “Blech. You alright, over there?”</p><p>“Yeah. Little bit of cold, it’ll wear off inna few.” Kaidan rubbed his throat. “Concerned now, though. He meant to grab us up for experiments or something. I only came here for some books, not to wind up on a table or turned into a dog.”</p><p>“Commander Caius said they were mostly just a nuisance like bandits. But experimenting on people? Ugh.” The guardswoman rubbed her face on her arm, only to get spider threads across her face. “Damn it.”</p><p>Kaidan found a cloth on a nearby table and tossed it to her, which she accepted gratefully. Taking a minute to look around he found several stacks of books, and of course not one of them were on the list that Urag had given him. Just how many places did they steal books from?! Well whoever owned those, they’d have to come get them themselves; he was not dragging home an entire library as much as it would have delighted Star. And Lydia was right about there being lots of things to take. He doubted that Starfall would turn down a few free soul gems, while his immediate reward was an ale. He hoped none of these party trick idiots knew Daedric caliber magic or poisoned their own food, so it should have been safe.</p><p>Lydia raised her eyebrow. “Drinking on the job, now?”</p><p>“Believe me, one’s not enough to even give me a buzz.” He said idly and flicked the cork off.</p><p>“I’d suppose not,” she mumbled under her breath.</p><p>The stairs down led right into several traps, which they sidled around, some storage (which wasn’t as bountiful as Lydia had advertised,) and while they were expecting a prison in the basement of a keep, they weren’t expecting all the cells to be <em>full</em>. Some Dunmer and Nordic women were all sitting quietly in cells and fuming about how to best murder their captors. Then Kaidan got close enough to see the women’s faces clearly. The telltale nose crests and glowing eyes. Vampires. Shit. So much for a simple job. The woman in the closest cell put her finger to her lips, held up one finger and pointed to the other side of the room, then drew it across her throat.</p><p>‘Kill their jailor.’ He narrowed his eyes in suspicion. They obviously weren’t volunteers. But they were also a menace to the living. If these asshole warlocks weren’t feeding them properly, the second he let them out, he and Lydia would be bled dry.</p><p>Kaidan switched his sword for his bow and went around the corner. He could debate on what to do with them after their mutual enemy was dealt with. He moved quickly; his boots signaled his presence, but he was still able to nail the man’s skull to the table before he could fully stand up. Beside him happened to be the levers that probably opened the cells. Explanation first, then maybe a pardon.</p><p>“Oi. What is all this?” He asked quietly in case there were more of the mages nearby.</p><p>“A bunch of about to be very dead idiots. They took our entire clan while we were sleeping. I heard the screams of my sire a few hours ago. They’re <em>dissecting</em> us. For what, I don’t know. But if you let us out, we won’t hurt you. We only want to give them what’s coming to them.” The eldest Nord woman growled.</p><p>“Hmm. Lydia?”</p><p>She held up two fingers to the elder vampire. “One. We were never here. Two. I don’t want to have to come back here because this place will be emptied out in a few hours and you all moved in.”</p><p>“Fair enough.” The old woman nodded. “There’s at least three of them in the next room. Perfect as they’d been starving us...”</p><p>Kaidan braced himself and pulled the levers. All three cell doors creakily swung open, and the angry vampires stretched, nodded to each other, then burst through the door to the next room. A lot of shouting, screaming, and magic flying followed. Jump into the fray, or wait until the dust settled? Then he noticed that there was a big bowl of money and gems just sitting on the table with more books.</p><p>‘A few seconds to check this can’t hurt.’ He thought to himself as he made sure to stay out of the line of sight to the other room. Another emerald for his collection. None of the books were correct again, damn it.</p><p>“You think they’re going to notice we’re not in there helping them?” Lydia peeked into the room just as the flash of a fireball went off and nearly blinded her.</p><p>“Only if they turn out to be weaker than these assholes, which even starving vampires shouldn’t be.” He sighed, taking his bow out again.</p><p>She was about to move towards the room herself when she spotted movement out of the corner of her eye. The jailor that had been shot just a few minutes before managed to unstick the arrow from the table and sit up. She hissed at Kaidan, “Fuck, one of them’s a necromancer!”</p><p>Kaidan smacked his forehead and tried to quickly do the math. If one of the vampires did it, it was “fine”, as they only were only going to use the bodies to clear their escape. If the warlocks were willing to use each other as thralls, then they were going to have to start burning bodies or removing heads and just… gods damn it. He had her stand ready to take the corpse’s head off in case it immediately turned on them. The thrall didn’t even see them as it turned towards the door, crossed the threshold, tripped, and collapsed into embers and dust. A woman shouted her last at about the same time, and things became considerably quieter after that.</p><p>‘Starfall’s life sight would be handy about now...’ Kaidan thought.</p><p>“How did they escape?! Where is Delaine?!” The last warlock shouted from the other room, then came through the door. His answer came in the form of a shot through the throat. He was the last one to hit the ground.</p><p>‘Or, he could just give himself away.’</p><p>They carefully checked again to make sure the dust had settled, and the whole gruesome scene made Lydia want to just skip over that room entirely and keep moving.</p><p>“If you want to scout, fine. I still need to check for these damn books. …If they haven’t been completely burnt up.” Kaidan mostly ignored the slaughter. Not counting the four warlocks and three vampires, there were several male corpses laid out on tables and trapped in torture implements like cages and racks. He was trying to be good and not openly curse magic users because he could tell that Starfall was getting tired of it, but she’d have to agree that this was evil.</p><p>Whatever wasn’t covered in blood, was burned or frozen, including a bookshelf off to the side. The vampires obviously had nothing but dust, so he didn’t bother. Lydia chose right, then. He caught up with her a few minutes later.</p><p>“I think I found Orthorn,” she whispered. There was another set of prison cells on this floor; one of them held a young, pouty High Elven man in scholar’s robes sitting on the ground and complaining at his jailor. The other cells held a pair of wolves; most likely still feral judging by the way they carried on at growling and pacing in circles.</p><p>“This isn’t fair! I did what she asked!” The scholar whined.</p><p>“Except for refusing to stay out of the way and keep your damn mouth shut.” The other mage sighed. “For the love of the gods, <em>shut up</em>!”</p><p>The jailor seemed to be by himself again, so Kaidan nocked another arrow and shot him in the head just as he rounded the corner and spotted him. Unfortunately, he fell over the lever panel he was pacing around and his weight opened all of the doors. The wolves immediately bolted out of their cells and went straight for him and Lydia. The mage yelped and pulled his cell door shut again in case the wolves remembered he was there.</p><p>“Damn ungrateful...” Kaidan bashed one in the face with his bow, stunning it long enough for him to snap its neck, while Lydia took on the other one and stabbed it in the jugular.</p><p>“Oh, thank the gods! You’ve got to help get me out of here! They’re going to do something awful to me!” The young Altmer man started to push his door open, only to find that it had relocked itself when he pulled it shut. He stared at the levers in the center of the room and started to hit his head on the bars.</p><p>“Oi. You Orthorn?” Kaidan went over to check before opening the gate again.</p><p>“Yes! Did the Archmage send you to come check on me?”</p><p>The mercenary hesitated. “...Technically. Because the librarian said you stole a stack of books and they want them back.”</p><p>“Oh,” he frowned. “Oh, dear...”</p><p>“Looks like that worked out well for you.” Lydia snarked.</p><p>“About those...” Orthorn pointed his fingers together. “Look. I know I shouldn’t have taken them. But if you get me out, I can help you get them back! Just don’t leave me here!”</p><p>Kaidan growled and ran his hand over his face. “I don’t like the way you’re making it sound like it’s going to be even more of a pain in my arse trying to get them back than it’s already been. I was just sent to pick up a handful of books and a good dozen people are dead already, including a bunch of <em>vampires</em>.”</p><p>“So... The Caller. She’s been trying to summon—”</p><p>“Oh bloody hell, if you say Daedra...” Kaidan already knew it was coming.</p><p>“...Yes? She took the books and then threw me in here. I think she’s trying to figure out the strength of offering—”</p><p>He groaned and opened the cell door. “Not a warlock, don’t know what you’re talking about. Just take me to her since she’s got the books.” What happened to a simple job?! Star wasn’t even here with her curse to make it worse!</p><p>“Fine! Fine. Okay. She’s on the top floor.” Orthorn hesitated, but carefully made his way up the stairwell only to stop and turn around. “They locked the door. We have to go the long way up.”</p><p>“Of course.”</p><p>The mage ran around trying other doors until he found a storage closet with even more books, spare enchanted clothing (Kaidan realized that the white ones that Starfall had bought were ruined, but he didn’t know what size she was other than very short and soft around the everywheres), and some of their money reserves. A few more closets and maybe this trip would be paid for. The hallway it was in wound up and down and around until several voices talking and screaming were heard. More torturing people. A small explosion. Torturing people with <em>fire</em>.</p><p>Kaidan hid his eyes and hoped the shivering wasn't too bad. He growled quietly at Orthorn, “Don’t you people have anything better to do?”</p><p>The mage merely shrugged.</p><p>There were several people in the next room and there wasn’t a way for him to pick them off without being immediately noticed and mobbed. One of them called for a short break between whatever they were working on, and before he could move out of the way, one of the ‘students’ happened up the hall they were on. He gutted the woman, but not before she shouted in pain and drew attention.</p><p>All three of them rushed into the room now that their cover was blown, and found that they were in a target practice room. They were shooting at another one of the vampires trapped in a cage. Awful as vampires were, it was still twisted. Kaidan slashed across the (probably not a real) instructor’s chest just as he sent a wave of biting cold that stunned Kaidan and froze his feet to the floor. He grunted and ducked down to break himself out of it while the others finished off the last one.</p><p>Lightning crawled all over Lydia’s shield making her drop it, but Orthorn finally figured how to be useful and raised his own shield in front of her.</p><p>“Orthorn?! You traitor!” The warlock spat and changed her spell to fire hoping to eat through his shield quickly. The gouts of flame were dim orange and she quickly tired herself out before his shield expired.</p><p>“Traitor? You locked me up first!” He summoned bolts of lightning and passed them through her chest. She immediately spasmed and collapsed to the floor.</p><p>“What in the world made you want to run away from the college and join these jerks?!” Lydia asked.</p><p>“The Caller. I know her project sounds bad at first, but she has it under control! So when the gate opens and she kills the Dremora—”</p><p>“<strong>No</strong>. Come on.” Kaidan quickly broke out of the ice and pushed them to get a move on. The last thing any of these damned fools needed was a Dremora running loose. Those things were a pain in arse to control and considering everyone so far had been a base amateur <em>at best</em>, there’d soon be a higher Daedra killing whoever was left, which would be them if they were still here looking for Starfall’s damned book.</p><p>*</p><p>Meanwhile, Violet had gone back to studying since she was feeling much better. She still coughed randomly and her medicine was slowly dulling all the noise and impulses, but the worst seemed to be over. There was a lot to be learned from all this, most of it painful. She had to keep better control of everything trying to tear her apart. Kaidan was trying to warn her about her temper, and it almost killed her. She’d said it herself over and over; she’d have to do better. Another journal was almost full; there was something gratifying about it even though it was mostly full of her complaining and dead-end theorem.</p><p>The books that Urag had lent her were only marginally useful. She couldn’t cross-reference much. Her only hope of looking anything up was Farengar, and she wasn’t quite up to going all the way across the city over the slim chance that he would have what she was looking for. She realized the irony of having spent nearly five months trying to cross Hammerfell and Skyrim just to get to the college. Then she remembered she’d learned how to teleport from Tolfdir. Except she’d only done it once, and it was incredibly unpleasant. Though half of that was nerves... and the other half was that fucking artifact. Well. You never get better if you don’t keep trying.</p><p>Violet flipped through her journal to where Kaidan had taken notes (‘wow, he wasn’t kidding, his handwriting <em>is</em> shite, er... shit.’) and if she read this right, the instructions were separate. Why weren’t they in here? Maybe magic that advanced was too much for him to copy exactly and not have them (her) wind up Elsweyr. Mirabelle would probably do a much better job at writing the instructions— He didn’t.</p><p>“Oh lords, where did he put it?” She ran her hand over her face. If he was thinking he could ‘protect’ her from herself or some nonsense… A quick check with her Clairvoyance spell led outside instead of somewhere in the house like she'd hoped. She suddenly realized her fist was shaking and her teeth were clenched, so she stopped and took a breath. “No. Don’t do that.”</p><p>Instead, she paced around the living room for a few moments. She was feeling better, and was well into getting herself back on track, and so could get back to work. Kaidan <em>still</em> didn’t really trust her fully (except when they were in terrible danger.) Not entirely <em>fair</em>, Sir ‘couldn’t find anything better to do than get suckered into a Daedric cult and probably stuck around for the murder orgies—’ She shuddered. No. Stop it. Besides, that was probably more Sanguine and Bal than Dagon.</p><p>Do something else, then. She sighed and went back to her studies, instead focusing on the Eye of Magnus with what she already had. Magnus was considered a (the?) god of Magic, but never really revered as such since he did not stay and wither with the rest of the Creators; most mages who even considered themselves devout either went with the conventional Imperial gods or at least Julianos. Julianos probably didn’t like her very much.</p><p>That awful thing in the Hall of Elements couldn’t possibly be a literal eye, though the sheer power emanating from it, its far-reaching effects, and from what Kaidan had described in her notes when Ancano had first opened it meant that it was either created by Magnus, related to him, or a tribute to him (but what civilization could possibly have created it?).</p><p>“Oooohhh... I hope this doesn’t turn into a Heart of Lorkhan situation. There’s a whole bunch of elves even dumber than me over there and I am not up for that,” she shuddered.</p><p>Violet had tried singling out and concentrating on the dragon who had attacked the college, but even after she’d killed it and absorbed its memories, all she got was a muddle of visions and sensations that probably meant it was something she wasn’t capable of understanding with a mortal body. There were a few things they’d imparted like that: immortality and the irrelevance of time, what various ancient entities actually looked/sounded like (she could see ancient Akaviri through a filter of murderous hate and they spoke gibberish so she didn’t ask again), flying (which made her simultaneously sick and ecstatic; she suppressed any future thoughts of being more than a foot off the ground), and their completely different relationship with magic.</p><p>As a mage, she could pull magic through herself and felt it that way, like breathing. Dragons... were made of magic? If that was what they were trying to explain to her. Their language was them calling their reality into being? Or something like that. Violet quickly waved all that away as she was getting off track again.</p><p>She bounced around from topic to topic for several hours, until fidgeting and boredom took over. Realizing that she needed something more stimulating than just reading and writing made her wonder if all the nerve-wracking horseshit she’d endured for the past several months wasn’t trying to become her new normal.</p><p>Kaidan said it would. She knew it would. It still turned her stomach.</p><p>“Bastard could have at least let me go see Tiku.” She grumbled as she wandered out onto the street and turned towards the market. “Should fill his pillow with rocks.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Bad advice, and good advice.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Up until he’d met Starfall, Kaidan almost completely traveled and worked alone. Teaming up with other mercenaries either wasn’t safe or necessary, and if he did have to partner up with someone like Jenassa (who he was friends with, but she still kept her distance), they worked in such a way that the whole job went quickly and seamlessly so they could be done with each other as soon as possible. Working with Starfall was a new (and honestly somewhat unpleasant) experience. On top of being simple-headed, she wasn’t given to any actual fighting (more like enact complete annihilation until the problem was gone), let alone being a mercenary. But at least she was ruthlessly effective and a quick study. Lydia already had fighting experience and she didn't complain as long as he didn't try to get her to carry a bunch of junk, so she was fine. ...But Orthorn...</p><p>“I understand now why they locked you up,” Lydia hissed.</p><p>The mage threw his hands up. “How was I supposed to know that <em>skeletons</em> could <em>hear</em>?!”</p><p>“They can <em>see</em>, can’t they?!” Kaidan shouted as he crushed one’s skull against its sarcophagus; the rest of the skeleton collapsed into a heap. And there were fucking necromancers here to boot. The college had better pay them <em>really</em> well for <em>three</em> books.</p><p>“…I, uh. Got me there. Look, I’m studying spatial planology, not necromantic biology. We’re not all the same!”</p><p>“<em>Obviously</em>.” Kaidan turned to her. “Lydia, just how did you manage to clear this place out in an afternoon? Just how big is it?”</p><p>She was crouched behind the sarcophagus on the other side of the room to avoid being shot at. “Well there sure weren’t this many people, no necromancers, and after the seventh severe beating, the rest ran off! I don’t know why these ones aren’t running. And it’s a keep. A <em>fortress</em>. I mean, probably a third of it has collapsed from age, but we’re not even out of the basement yet and these places usually have at least three upper floors?”</p><p>…That still wasn't as bad as being trapped in an underground city of the dead.</p><p>“Uh… well, I passed through a bunch more rooms to get to the summoning circle on the third floor. And there aren’t any more labs in the upper floors of the keep, that’s things like lecture halls, meeting rooms, and dorms. We don’t have to go through all of those.” Orthorn swiped his hand downward in the direction of the last necromancer at the very front of the room. A portal opened slightly, but instead of a fire atronach stepping out, only one’s hand emerged, grabbed the necromancer by his collar, and yanked him back through. His scream was cut off instantly when it closed.</p><p>“A summoner.” Kaidan glared at him.</p><p>“In the broadest term possible, yes,” he sighed.</p><p>“Look, just… keep quiet and don't let that thing out. I don’t want that atronach running loose. Or at least choose a different one.”</p><p>The mage shrugged and took his place in the back. “It’s shown that fire atronachs are the easiest to control, plus the narrow hallways make it so a frost or storm atronach would get stuck—”</p><p>“Don’t! Care!” Kaidan grit his teeth.</p><p>“Alright, alright! But, uh, there’s a ‘summoner’s’ lab next door...”</p><p>The warrior took a slow breath and nodded. Going around the corner, he was braced for a bunch of big, lumbering, elemental monsters, only to get one of those ‘small’ ghost wolves sitting by the door. He didn’t mind them much as they were usually only used by lesser mages, and he easily dispelled it by slicing it in half. Killing it alerted its masters though, and two black clad mages looked up from their studies when it yelped and died. Seeing that needy, whiny mage out of his cell and following these intruders made them realize they were outnumbered now, and summoned more of the wolves.</p><p>Kaidan rushed the closest warlock by hopping over the debris in the middle of the room, and drove his sword through his chest, making the summon fizzle out before it could complete. The other woman at the front of the room had already called her wolf back again and Orthorn was knocked down from the surprisingly heavy ethereal animal pouncing on him. Lydia quickly bashed it off with her shield, impaling it with the spikes. Orthorn scrambled back to his feet and pulsed lightning through the mage, making it jump from the summoner to his summon, taking them both out.</p><p>‘At least this one went quick and easy.’ Kaidan scanned the room for anything else while the others took a quick break.</p><p>“Just why does our thane need this book so badly?” Lydia asked, about to reach into a summoning circle lined with soul gems. Orthorn quickly grabbed her wrist, then blew out the candle in the middle before walking around to a slightly larger gem on the outside, grabbing that one, and handing it to her. Another went into his pocket.</p><p>“Don’t know. Not a mage. Nothing good, though.” Not to speak of the giant metal eye that hopefully hadn’t ‘broken loose’ and started turning Winterhold into blue slime or a dragon nest while they were gone.</p><p>“Well, it shouldn’t be too bad after this; I remember there wasn’t too much further to get to the top after the front hall up ahead.” She went ahead, took a peek through the door, and nodded.</p><p>The adjacent rooms were the dining room and dorms, just as Orthorn said. Kaidan grabbed another ale to drown his nerves. Both rooms were mostly empty or quickly emptied as everyone else had been “working” downstairs in the laboratories, save for the fire atronach left guarding the way to the library on the second floor. Kaidan pulled Lydia back just as Orthorn banished it, and the resulting explosion looked strange from their perspective off to the side. The fire appeared as cut off neatly by the portal it was sucked into. At least he was semi-useful that way, and he could identify some of the dangers and stranger things they found. He scooped up the sparkling grit the atronach left behind and identified it as fire salts; stuff was rare, too. Kaidan took some in the already empty ale bottle.</p><p>The library on the second floor was, ironically enough, the room with the <em>fewest</em> number of books in the keep. Most of the shelves were lined with junk and the books themselves had been borrowed and scattered all over. Whatever was left was either ratty, burned, or just flat out ruined.</p><p>‘Urag would have a heart attack if he saw this.’ Kaidan got to work quickly scanning what remained for anything worthwhile. He actually found one that he wanted to read and took that one, as well.</p><p>“I think we’re almost there, actually. Up the stairs and around the corner.” The mage checked up the hallway.</p><p>The long hallway past the library was lined with doors, and most seemed to be locked. None of them knew how to pick locks and nobody wanted to go through the extra effort of kicking them down, so Kaidan just shrugged and left them. The resulting noise from rifling through the unlocked ones was enough to alert anyone left, but not scare them off, much to his annoyance. A particularly nice suite (Orthorn guessed it was The Caller’s, and Kaidan wondered aloud if she had an actual name) turned out to be where she kept a few choice artifacts.</p><p>“Actually, I don’t know her name.” Orthorn rubbed his chin. “Or at least I’ve never heard anyone use it.”</p><p>“But you stole a bunch of books for her and ran after her trying to join her dodgy little cult school.” Kaidan rolled his eyes.</p><p>He shrank back. “When you put it that way…”</p><p>*</p><p>Belethor looked at Violet's shopping list and raised his eyebrow. “Uhh... are you sure you need this many?”</p><p>She nodded slowly and put two bags of septims on the counter to prove she was serious.</p><p>He smiled at them. “Ah. Alright, then. I can have all these for you tomorrow. But you might have to wait on the spices. The East Empire’s been having a bit of trouble the past few weeks with shipments and the war, and I hear the owner’s getting married soon…”</p><p>“Then don’t use them? Or do you have a contract with them?”</p><p>He scratched his chin. “Not necessarily, I suppose, but if you know of someone else who’s reliable, and right now of all times, I’ll take it into consideration.”</p><p>“Have a courier send the spice order to Sentinel, Hammerfell. Starfall Trading. The co-owner, Zalim will take care of the rest.” She wrote down the address for him and quickly scratched a small letter to pack with it. ‘I suppose pa will be interested to know I’m still alive, at least...’</p><p>“Starfall, eh? That’s the old, old, <em>old</em> name of the bay. It’s also <em>your</em> name.” The Breton checked her order again.</p><p>“Family name and business. I am <em>not</em> the one to talk to about business inquiries.” She said quickly, not wanting to get into any kind of unnecessary conversation with this man who was never more than a few seconds from getting slapped.</p><p>Belethor frowned slightly and shrugged, but was clearly already doing numbers in his head, anyway. “Suit yourself, but I’m always interested in new business opportunities! Hmm, we do have a significant Redguard community here now, so new imports would likely be welcomed...”</p><p>"Anyway, thank you. Other errands to run.” She quickly made her way outside.</p><p>“Do come back.” He winked at her as he kept counting her money.</p><p>As soon as the door was shut behind her, Violet took several deep breaths and ran her hand down her face. ‘Don’t scream, you didn’t kill him, you’re okay now…’</p><p>Maybe the fact that the Hunger and Power were getting stronger should be the next thing to look at. Thing was, she didn’t know what she could possibly do about it.</p><p>“Aye, he's sleazy, but you get used to it.” The guard idling outside of the shop snickered at her. “At least he actually has good deals.”</p><p>“I'm not sure if it's worth it.” Violet shuddered.</p><p>Since the Bannered Mare was right across the circle, she went in to see if it was crowded that evening. It wasn't yet, but it just made her hesitate at getting caught in there when the dinner crowd came in. The more she thought about it, the harder it was to find a reason to be in there.</p><p>Just past the Bannered Mare on the other side was the Temple of Kynareth. ‘No. NO. Remember the last time you were in a temple. And the time before that.’</p><p>‘Okay, but Dibella was because I was fuckin’ drunk and Talos didn't really have anything to do with the other.’</p><p>‘She’s going to preach at you.’</p><p>Violet hissed through her teeth.</p><p>“Just go see the priestesses. You look like you need someone to talk to.”</p><p>Violet turned to another patrolling guard that had somehow wedged himself into her business.</p><p>He shrugged. “Because you were staring in that direction and rolling your head back and forth. Also, you're new here.”</p><p>“What is it about Skyrim that the guards here have nothing better to do than to gossip?” A sharp reminder hit her that her best friend had been a guard up until she got frozen and crushed by a dragon.</p><p>“Have to do something between dragons, bandits, drunken brawls, and petty thieves.” He said.</p><p>Violet growled under her breath and walked towards the temple. Thankfully, the trip up to the Cloud District was a lot less draining than the other day. She didn’t see the priestess working on the flowers today, so she looked around outside for a few moments. The temple itself was one of the larger buildings in the city, alongside Dragonsreach itself and the giant, upside-down ship Jorrvaskr across the way.</p><p>‘Huh. Would have thought that Talos would have the big temple just like in Windhelm, the way there's a whole war over him.’ She looked over at the statue behind her. There was a loud preacher standing in front of Talos, shouting about elves or something. She wouldn't have cared if he wasn’t so loud. Just listening to him for a few seconds made her throat hurt out of sympathy. Him droning on without stopping helped greatly in getting her through the door.</p><p>*</p><p>The temple of Kynareth was the opposite of the temple to Talos in Windhelm. The room was bright and open from all of the stained glass windows and plant life instead of dark and claustrophobic in a half-ruined city. Water flowed through channels in the floor into four pools, which would have been a relaxing atmosphere if not for the people around the room being noisy in their pain. Since it was still daytime, she was expecting a few people to be around, and of course some temples offered healing services. A few ailing citizens were laid out around the room on benches, while Danica and another acolyte attended to them.</p><p>‘Maybe I should leave since they're busy…’ Violet frowned a little. Hearing the man closest to her groan and rock back and forth hit that part of her brain that barely got by in doing odd jobs with Kaidan. Be helpful. Distract yourself by focusing on others instead of yourself.</p><p>She firmly gave herself several admonishing taps to the forehead. ‘Don’t try to do other people's jobs for them, and for free, at that.’</p><p>“Oh! You were sitting outside the other day. Are you feeling any better?” Danica stood up from helping a woman who was now sleeping.</p><p>“I am. If you’re busy, I can come back later.”</p><p>“It’s alright. I can listen and heal at the same time. Unless you have other injuries apart from yesterday?”</p><p>“I’m working on them. I’m a healer, myself. It’s just… everything else is overwhelming.” Violet looked for a place to sit, but could only find a seat in the corner. “I needed to get away from my work for a little bit.”</p><p>“Ahh. Overwork.” The priestess nodded sadly. “I understand, it can be overwhelming when seeing so many people in pain and then there’s only one of you.”</p><p>Violet rubbed her face. “Especially when everyone’s both counting on me, and at the same time, hoping I fail, for some awful reason.”</p><p>“Hoping you fail? As a <em>healer</em>?” She asked incredulously.</p><p>Oh. Right. “Of a sort. Not the healing. My <em>other</em> duties.” She seethed.</p><p>“Hmm. Then it seems to me that these people shouldn’t be any of your concern, unless they’re actively hindering you.”</p><p>“Does trying to kill me count?” Violet laughed bitterly.</p><p>Danica frowned at her. “Your problems are a lot bigger than can be solved with some simple advice.”</p><p>“Oh, yeah.” The Dragonborn ran her hands down her face. “I miss simple problems so much, like that soldier isn’t healing properly because there’s still a tiny piece of poisoned shrapnel in his side. Just pick that out of there, get something to expel the rot, and he’ll be fine. I can fix things like that easily. Dragons...? <em>Dragons</em>. Gods. And don’t get me started on <em>gods</em>."</p><p>“What?” The priestess quickly looked down at the man lying in front of her. She had pulled an arrow out of him barely a day before and only thought the pain he was feeling was because the wound was still fresh. “How can you see that?”</p><p>Violet came over to the two of them and drew the sign for Death across the priestess’s vision. Danica blinked a few times, then studied the small, blue and black dim spot pulsing deep into his lower left side.</p><p>“Oh, dear!” She covered her mouth. “Let’s take care of this right away!”</p><p>“Yeah,” Violet sighed. “Do you have the proper medicine? I can go back down to Arcadia and put something together, if you don’t. And I feel like every healer should know how to see the amount of life or death in something, but it requires a bit of study into Alteration, of all things. You’d think that’d be in the Illusion school.”</p><p>Danica was already getting to work. “Interesting! And yes, I have the medicine here.”</p><p>‘Oh, good. Don’t have to move, then.’ She sat back down and stared at the bright, airy skylights. “I’m not going to distract you for this part. I just needed to get out of the house and gauge how I’m recovering. My <em>housecarl</em> and <em>knight</em> will be back in a couple days and I don’t want to hear about how I didn’t get anything done, ‘why are you still lounging in bed half dead?’ and ‘I knew I shouldn’t have left you alone!’ As if I could get into any trouble in the state I was in. If anything, he should be more worried that I’m feeling better and thinking about going on a quick side-errand before he returns to nag me some more.”</p><p>“I thought you said you weren’t going to distract me.” The priestess smiled as she returned from a side room with a lot of supplies, medicine, and bandages on a tray. “So <em>you’re</em> the new thane. That explains the <em>other</em> duties and the danger.”</p><p>Violet still thought it was far too much that she was now a noble with her own little court. Back home, she barely had enough business to hire an assistant. Probably could have used one, now that she thought about it. Would have prevented a few incidents. But then she’d have to contract an apprentice, and deal with the Mages’ Guild even more, <em>and</em> be a responsible teacher/mentor/authoritative source. Nooo, thanks. She snapped back to the present and winced when the man’s shout pierced her ears. She frowned as now her peace was gone. “Sorry. I’ll go.”</p><p>“Hopefully I’ll be finished in a short while. You can return, then. Though now I’m wondering where Ahlam is…” Danica paused and looked around.</p><p>As Starfall opened the door to leave, a Redguard woman came up frowning and looking right through her. On almost bumping into Violet, she came back to herself, slightly surprised and grimacing that she’d been so preoccupied that it was likely written all over her face.</p><p>“I’m sorry. Just trying to calm down after the day I’ve had. A bit of advice: don’t get married.” The woman held her hands up and stopped herself before getting further into it.</p><p>Violet nodded with that look of perfect understanding.</p><p>“By the Divines, not again.” Danica didn’t even raise her head from her work. “Ahlam. You’ve got to do something about this. He’s getting in the way of your work, your faith, and your happiness. And with some other grumblings I've heard around town, he might be putting himself in danger.”</p><p>Violet opened the door again. ‘Let me get out of here before this becomes my busine—’</p><p>The priestess nodded over to Violet. “As you can see, I’m busy right now, so maybe you can help… err… the new thane. You two might be able to help each other.”</p><p>‘Damn.’ The thane frowned slightly and would have words later with the part of her that told her to go to the temple in the first place. “I don’t think I’d be much help, as I honestly have no idea what Balgruuf was thinking when he gave me this job.”</p><p>“What are any of them thinking?” This new priestess sighed, then whispered. “And no, I don’t expect you to start solving problems if you’re the one coming here for a sympathetic ear.”</p><p>Ahlam followed Violet back outside, then pointed to the benches under the dead tree. “Danica called you the new thane. I vaguely remember there was a big thing over at Dragonsreach about a month ago. But it’s more likely that she was distracted and forgot your <em>name</em>.”</p><p>“She was busy healing, to be fair. And I wasn’t kidding when I said I have no idea what this thane business is. I’m just Violet. Everyone keeps thinking I need to be more than that.” She flopped down on the bench and tried to look for something to focus on.</p><p>“Well, don’t tell my husband. He finds out you’re a noble and it’ll take a crowbar to pry his lips off your butt.” Ahlam groaned. “But that’s why you came here. Everyone’s expecting too much. And from someone who only just got here. Let’s see. That accent is northeastern, but your name is imperialized. You’re smart, but forgive me, have been in a few accidents judging by the scars. Elinhir?”</p><p>“Huh. Not bad. I studied in Elinhir, but I live and work in Dragonstar. …Used to.” Remembering suddenly hit her all over again.</p><p>“You a refugee from the dragon attack there? Probably homesick either way. My family’s from Hallins.”</p><p>“Yeah. And so much.”</p><p>“Like a viper dumped into a snowbank.” Ahlam's south Bangkorai accent slipped through for just a moment.</p><p>“Have to admit, I’ve never been to Hallins.”</p><p>She smiled as she recalled fondly. “It’s even worse than west Alik’r. It’s all overdeveloped rocky mountains and scorpions, beetles, and spiders the size of dogs settling into any crack or hole they find, even better if it’s inside your house because the harpies can’t get in and eat 'em.”</p><p>Violet shuddered. “That’s pretty damn bad.”</p><p>“But at least it ain’t cold!” She laughed and Violet found herself giggling a bit as well.</p><p>Violet took a deep breath. “I was alright with being a healer. It wasn’t the best at times, but it was good, steady money, I was helping people, and I’ve studied hard at magic, and you know how <em>some folks</em> feel about that sh— mess. Though I’ve been told I need to work on my bedside manner. Instead, I’m here, hundreds of miles from home, bashing my head against walls, making my hair turn even greyer, getting yelled at by dragons every other week, I can’t have any friends because I can’t stay in one place or put anyone else in danger, I’m being judged by a whole bunch of people who need to mind their own damn business, and failure is <em>not</em> an option. It won’t be long before people figure out that I’m in over my head. I didn’t want any of this, but the <em>gods</em> themselves decided that it’s my turn to handle the biggest pile of horseshit since the Empire. So I guess I have to go be their, and everyone else’s, whipping girl.” By the end, her hands were shaking.</p><p>Ahlam simply stared with her eyebrows up. “Oh… and here I am whining about awful men.”</p><p><em>Men</em>… Violet’s eye twitched. “My (‘friend, partner, accomplice, ethical center, advisor, brave and dashing knight, foil, source of constant frustration, pain in my godsdamned ass, motherfucking fake <em>husband</em> because of a misadventure involving a <em>Daedric Prince</em>’) …companion isn’t <em>bad</em>, but the ‘mysterious troubled past’ and projecting is starting to annoy me. But he’s an adorable grump so he can stay. Men are only my problem in that they keep underestimating how easily I can (and want to) send them to their gods. I can go do that for you if you want. I miss easily solved problems.” She held up her hand and lightning crawled all over it, clicking and snapping away.</p><p>“I don’t think even Divine Intervention could help Nazeem…” The priestess scoffed. “Kynareth takes care of good weather and crops, but not marriages.”</p><p>It took Violet a few seconds… “Do you live up that way with the insufferable fool who doesn’t know he’s not even the king of an anthill?”</p><p>Ahlam burst out laughing, which quickly dried up into a bitter groan.</p><p>“Oh my gods, honey, I am so, so sorry.” She pinched her temple. “But now I have to ask how in the world he tricked you into marrying him.”</p><p>“He didn’t used to be like this!” she hissed. “We got called up one day to get a thanks from the jarl about the last couple years of harvests and suddenly he’s the jarl’s <em>best friend</em>. Now we’re barely getting by in the Cloud District because <em>obviously</em> we have to live <em>there</em> and not in our house on our farm. He is a <em>farmer</em>. I am a priestess. We do not have Cloud District money. The <em>delusion</em>! Like something snapped in there!”</p><p>Violet blinked at her. “I will do this one for free, and I can make it look like an accident.”</p><p>She was in the middle of considering it when she remembered she was beholden to the Divines. “Didn’t Sister Pure-Spring say you were a thane?”</p><p>“And I said I don’t know what that means, other than I’ve been dragged into Balgruuf’s court just because I was also foolish enough to fix his dragon problems for free. I used to deal potions and healing on the north side of Dragonstar by the mines.”</p><p>“…And now you kill <em>dragons</em>.”</p><p>“I know! Does this look like dragon killing attire?!” Violet picked at her simple blue smock and pulled a little paper packet out of the front pocket. “No, this is ‘cutting up these herbs to go in my soup so I can relax properly’ attire. It’s comfortable and there’s no dragon blood on it.”</p><p>“Is cute,” Ahlam said.</p><p>“Thanks,” she said, her voice dying off.</p><p>“The pressure of all these things is weighing down on you. Sometimes the ones we depend on the most to help us, the gods, are the ones who cause us the most grief.”</p><p>“You allowed to say that as a priestess?” Violet asked mockingly.</p><p>“Truth's just like that sometimes; more important than platitudes and vague ideas of hope. You’re looking for direction or at least a way out. You’ve probably already asked the Divines and the gods and so many people, ‘why me?’ But it sounds like nobody’s been able to give you an answer. And I’m sorry I can’t either. I’ve heard Sister Pure-Spring recently tell the old tales of Kynareth teaching ancient Nords magic to fight dragons, but never anything about Redguards. Especially since we came well after and have so <em>many</em> gods watching over us.</p><p>“But the gods who seem to be responsible for your circumstance? It might be that they really did find you to be the exception to all the rules, as much as you wish it wasn’t so. They see all of us; our hopes, desires, potential, successes, and failures. And they can give a little push, but not much more since they already gave all they had to our creation. But they want us to succeed through every trial given by the world and everything in it. If they didn’t, they’d just take it all back.</p><p>“Every Redguard child knows about our greatest hero Cyrus, who was just a sailor, but had to take it upon himself to kill a dragon, travel beyond Nirn, and defy the Daedra, all because he loved his family that much. And here in Skyrim, the god Talos was once a man, and a man with faults at that… but don’t tell Heimskr.” Ahlam nodded behind her in the shouting priest’s direction and kept going.</p><p>“The funny thing is, the ones who just know they’re destined for greatness? They usually put the cart before the horse and then fail. Or they think they’re immortal or all powerful and are quickly shown that they’re not, then fail. <em>Terribly</em>. The ones who don’t aren’t given the time to think too hard on it, so they can just do it, whatever it is. Maybe it all seems sudden to you because… there isn’t enough time left.</p><p>“Whatever these dragons are doing back after being wiped out thousands of years ago? The oldest Nords who come through seeking comfort say that the dragons returning means it’s the End of Days. That sounds like we’re <em>all</em> pretty short on time. Unfortunately, that’s as much as I know about their stories. But you’re still here. You’re still surviving. You haven’t given up, and it’ll probably cross your mind a few more times. You said you can’t have friends, but I recall seeing your Outlander friend over at the Drunken Huntsman and worrying about you for the past several days?”</p><p>“What would a priestess be doing in the Drunken Huntsman?” And why was this town suddenly getting smaller and smaller that half the people here already recognized them from only a handful of times?</p><p>“Nazeem likes the cozier atmosphere instead of going to the Bannered Mare with the <em>rabble,</em>” Ahlam groaned and rolled her eyes up in her head. “Anyway, you also can come talk to me whenever. Not just as a priestess, but as a friend. Now you have two. And if Danica ever stops working herself to death and comes out of there, that’d be three.”</p><p>Violet realized that all of that had come from a priestess of Kynareth. Just as Kaidan had said. She put her head in her hands and doubled over laughing into a frustrated scream.</p><p>“And what picked you up so quickly?” Ahlam leaned over to see Violet better.</p><p>“The Outlander. My …<em>lu'he</em>. His name is Kaidan. Before we were forced to come back here, I tried to go all the way to Winterhold to get answers from the mages’ college. And he told me I should have come here first, but it didn’t make sense to me because I honestly wanted different answers. And he was right. He’s right entirely too often for his own good, gods damn him.”</p><p>'Ahhh… Ahlam grinned at that word. “They usually are. Just like we’re able to solve others’ problems, but not our own.” She sighed.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The Caller.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Violet thanked Ahlam for listening to her and told her that if Nazeem ever got too bad, she could stay with her, or have Lydia let her in (or possibly knock him around a little).</p><p>The priestess giggled and said she'd have to remember that. "But Sister Danica is right, I have to do something about this, myself. Find some way to get him to see reason."</p><p>"Unfortunately, convincing people to do things is not my strong suit, or else I would have told all these fools expecting miracles to do their own acts of gods." Violet leaned back and looked up at the dead tree looming over her. It was sort of sad that the priestess inside seemed to take care of the little garden here in the city park, but couldn’t do anything about the tree.</p><p>"Have you asked the jarl what he even expects of you?" She asked.</p><p>"No, because then he'll actually come up with things for me to do and expect me to do them, when I already have too much to do on my plate. I'm only here right now because Winterhold was such a disaster that Kaidan dragged me back here while I was in a <em>coma</em>. As soon as I'm well again, I'm going right back over there so I can finish my research. And I'm not letting any other stupid distractions stop me this time." Violet’s face scrunched until she was fuming.</p><p>The priestess nodded as she got up. "And I need to get back to my duties since it looked pretty busy in there as I was coming in."</p><p>She snapped back to the present. "Sure. And thanks again. I need to get back and start on dinner."</p><p>Violet stretched and started back down the steps towards Breezehome. It felt pretty good to get that off her chest, and to have someone listen instead of judging for once. She met someone else far from home. Her voice wasn’t even particularly sore. No shouting. No distress. Very little anger, which was as much as she could hope for under the circumstances. The Power and Hunger didn’t have anything stupid to add. Nothing was life or death important right at that moment. Kaidan wasn’t worrying them both to death. She looked up at the sky starting to show the first faint stars after the sunset.</p><p>*</p><p>A very annoyed Altmer woman stared at the little group who had managed to derail weeks of progress in a single day. It's what she deserved for not going downstairs to put a stop to all that commotion sooner, really. But that would mean leaving this experiment right in the middle, and that would probably be even more disastrous. The black circle lined with candles and gems spun slowly and was quite dangerous; she’d just set the runes inside it before the door burst open and two complete strangers plus one nuisance wandered in.</p><p>"So, you're the one who barged in here and laid waste to my projects. How <em>nice</em> to meet you." The Caller leaned against the podium and rubbed her temples.</p><p>Kaidan scoffed. "At least someone here is willing to talk before trying to murder us. Wish we could have skipped all that other nonsense and come up here, first."</p><p>"Maybe because you all are <em>trespassing</em>." She rolled her eyes. "At any rate, what in the Eight do you think is so important that you're letting the test subjects loose and killing my assistants and students?"</p><p>"College of Winterhold sent me after the books this one stole. So hand 'em over." He pointed a thumb at Orthorn, who was trying his best not to be noticed.</p><p>She stood up and blinked at them. "Are you telling me that you're just one of Aren's lackeys? All this just for these books? Truly?! Well, that's... disappointing. You come here, kill everyone, disrupt my work... You've annoyed me, so… no. I don't think I'll be giving you anything. Out."</p><p>Kaidan ran his hand down his face and Lydia was about ready to just go over and bash her face in. She didn’t have anything against mages in particular, but the overbearing smugness just made her so punchable.</p><p>"All you lot had to do was give us <em>three</em> godsdamned <em>books</em>. How bloody valuable can they be?!" Kaidan shouted.</p><p>Orthorn was already turning to leave when The Caller stopped him. "Ah-ah. Not you. This is all <em>your</em> fault. …In fact… You know what? Outlander. You leave that one with me, and you can have the books. I think that’s a fair trade, don’t you?"</p><p>Orthorn froze. "Wait, what?"</p><p>"This little escapade of yours has cost me a number of test subjects and assistants. Do you have any idea how difficult it is to secure an entire clan of <em>vampires</em>? I only need one last test to finish this, and you'll do nicely." She smiled at him with entirely too much venom.</p><p>"But your thesis! The summoning! Oh gods, you <em>wouldn't</em>!"</p><p>"Why not? He gets the books, you get to stay here and <em>assist</em> me, which is what you came here for, and I can still wrap all this up. Everyone's happy."</p><p>"Summoning what?" Kaidan glared at her.</p><p>"I doubt a brute such as yourself would understand what it takes to efficiently hold open a portal without a sigil stone."</p><p>"Do <em>not</em> leave me alone with her." Orthorn said slowly.</p><p>Kaidan would have considered it if not for the fact that there was absolutely no reason for this woman to summon higher Daedra. "Maybe not, but I don't think <em>you</em> understand what you’re actually about to do. So no, you're not getting him, but we're still taking the books."</p><p>"Oh, good. And you're one of those high and mighty fools afraid of a little Daedra. They're just tools. Like so." And two large spell circles of Daedric energy appeared on the floor. Fire and ice atronachs rose up on either side of her.</p><p>Kaidan shuddered but quickly gathered himself. He grabbed two bottles from his belt and passed one to Lydia before she could jump into the fray. "Lydia, take the fire one, again. Orthorn, if you don’t want to die here, take the ice one. The Caller is mine."</p><p>A quick glance around the room revealed there wasn't really anywhere to take cover, but he'd finally found the books in each of the alcoves around the circular room. A stray spell would make this whole mission worthless. Damn it. As soon as his bow was out, the warlock turned herself to iron, ran behind her ice atronach, and used it to send blasts of ice around the room to slow all three of them down.</p><p>The three of them split up with Lydia trying to draw the fire atronach around the room, Orthorn holding a smaller aetheric shield in one hand and a fireball in the other, and Kaidan closed the gap between him and the Caller before the stinging ice worked its way past his enchantments. He ducked under and behind the ice atronach taking a swing at him and Orthorn, but before he could reach the Caller, she turned the floor to ice to throw his balance off. His boots were well suited for Skyrim’s harsh climate and he only stutter-stepped for half a second, but he kept his center of balance low anyway. His nodachi went to one hand and swiped in her direction, narrowly missing her side, but wedging deep through her wrist. A flick and she was pulled sideways to the floor with a very indignant scream.</p><p>Lydia kept her shield up against the volley of fireballs bouncing off of the heavy shield, though a few more and the shield would be too hot to hold onto. The black metal was already starting to glow faintly and she hadn’t even reached the atronach yet. The atronach suddenly tossed one high up in the air and in trying to dodge it, Lydia raised her shield as she backed away. The Daedra saw its opening, rushed up, and slashed her red-hot claws across Lydia’s front. Her guard’s armor was not enchanted and she only had Violet’s jewelry and potion, so the cold iron started to glow and melt while the fur and leather scorched. She gasped and retaliated by removing the atronach’s arm at the elbow. As soon as the limb hit the ground, it exploded at their feet, knocking the warrior backward another few steps.</p><p>As soon as Kaidan reached for the Caller to grab her, she clutched her working fist and disappeared. The ice atronach was in her place now, and he heard Orthorn shout as she pulled a dagger from her robes and jammed it into his dominant hand. Her own hand sealed itself with yellow wisps.</p><p>'Shit, she can telep—' Kaidan pushed off the ice and out of the way of the atronach getting ready to smash his face in. He always thought they were unsettling in that they made absolutely no noise whatsoever and didn't have faces. And now he was up against a Daedra that would take entirely too long to kill using his sword. It kept swinging and flailing in his direction; thankfully it was far too slow to catch him.</p><p>"Be a good little test subject and get into the circle before I really lose my patience!" The Caller grabbed Orthorn’s other wrist and was about to pull him in with her.</p><p>"Gods, no!" He shouted. He was just barely able to resist, though now one hand was out of commission. The spell shield went away and was replaced with crackling electricity, which he slapped her with.</p><p>The resulting crack of thunder made everyone in the room jump. But the more important result was that the Caller’s concentration faltered enough that she couldn’t teleport or control her atronachs, and Kaidan and Lydia could finish their jobs. Kaidan jammed his nodachi into the hip joint of the ice atronach and chopped it off, causing it to fall over. Its ‘head’ came off the same way, making it fizzle back to Oblivion.</p><p>Lydia quickly finished off the fire atronach by bashing the fire monster backwards until it was thrown off balance. Since cutting the arm off made it explode, she ran her sword through its belly and while getting entirely too close to the bubbling lava, swung it into the circle with the Caller. They collided and it bounced off of her aetheric shield.</p><p>Orthorn suddenly saw his chance to get rid of any evidence that he’d been there. A black spell appeared in his hand and he opened the portal by flicking one of the filled soul gems from downstairs into the center.</p><p>Kaidan heard the deep growling noise, the rush of hot air, and spun towards it. "What in Oblivion are you doing?!"</p><p>The circle flashed and before the Caller could get out of it, she and the atronach were restrained to the center.</p><p>"I'm sorry, but I can't let you… whatever you were planning!" Orthorn exclaimed as he poured all of his magicka into keeping the circle stable.</p><p>"Then why are <em>you</em> opening it?!" Kaidan rushed over and hesitated between letting him finish, and putting a stop to the spell by putting a stop to this idiot for good.</p><p>"I’m not opening it… Much?" He put his concentration back into controlling the spell and wards.</p><p>"You idiot! Let me out! You don’t know what you’re doing!" The Caller screamed at him. She tried to counter the spell, but wasn’t fast enough. A spinning black and red void opened up, just large enough that the Daedra and its master were pulled through the floor by desperate, grasping, clawed hands.</p><p>The portal spun faster and faster until all at once, it disappeared with another deep groan and the stone floor was back to normal. The Caller’s voice was cut off just like the explosion downstairs.</p><p>"Apparently, I do." Orthorn panted and clutched his bloody hand to his chest.</p><p>Kaidan had to stop and breathe. Nothing had come through. All the Daedra and their summoners were gone. He was cold again and his chest and back hurt. They were probably staring at him. He rubbed his face and took a deep breath. "Lydia, grab the books. Let’s get out of here."</p><p>Lydia came up to them with the small stack and Kaidan checked them to calm himself. ...Urag was just lucky they were coming back at all. The one that was probably most important, <em>The Night of Tears</em>, must have taken a stray blast of frost. The pages were a little wrinkled from water damage. Starfall probably wouldn’t mind. She didn’t exactly treat hers with kid-gloves, what with her stuffing them with junk and flowers and marking them up.</p><p>"Well, you got what you came for." Orthorn cleared his throat and turned to leave. "Don’t know if you’re going back to the college after this, but uh… I’m going to go… wait somewhere else for a while. Let this whole thing blow over, you know? Give everyone a chance to forget this whole thing. Still, you've gotten me out of a big mess, and I won't forget it. Thank you."</p><p>As they were on the top floor, there shouldn’t have been anything left for them to go through, but Lydia still found herself curious about the door on the other side of the room. It was just a closet and trap door. Having a quick scout ahead, she came back and told him she'd found the main hall as Kaidan was pulling an impressively large bag of money ('guess funding an entire "school" isn’t cheap') and an enchanted elven glass sword out of the pile of junk in the corner. It was much nicer than the plain standard issue that Lydia had, so she tied the scabbard to the other side of her belt. He told her that Starfall could appraise it once they got back.</p><p>Before heading out, they checked themselves for injuries and went through the large assortment of potions that Starfall had packed. The enchanted jewelry worked like a charm (Kaidan groaned at Lydia for that), though there were still bruises, slight burns, and frostbite. It looked like she’d set them up as if they’d be gone for an entire week instead of three days. At least none of them cracked through all the ridiculous action. It was bloody stupid how much effort that was.</p><p>Lydia sighed with some relief as she drank the actually not bad healing potion. "Hey, if it's not too late out, I want to make a quick stop on the way home. It's actually on the way back to the main road at the bottom of the hill. It just wouldn't have made sense on the way over since we would have been seen coming from that direction. Or are you worried about our thane?"</p><p>"Depends on what it is. And just call her Starfall. …Or Violet, I suppose. She hates titles." The second one sounded weird and wrong on his tongue. Didn’t sound very Redguardish, either. Not that 'Starfall' ever did.</p><p>"Nothing major. There’s a little shrine to Talos hidden away from the city… and Heimskr, that loud, annoying preacher. It's probably Whiterun's best kept secret. Ten minutes tops while I thank Talos for keeping our hides safe through all that. Mages… are kinda nuts…" She realized that her boss was part of that group as her voice died off.</p><p>"No, no. She's well aware."</p><p>"Still doesn’t feel right."</p><p>"Don’t worry. After a while, you’ll be picking fights and she’ll burn up your nerves too." He shook his head with just a hint of a smile.</p><p>*</p><p>Violet sat in her little study at the back of the house, picking at stew-sopped bread in one hand and scratching out equations with the other. Since stupid Kaidan had taken the most likely easier instructions on how to teleport, she'd have to make do with the hasty ones she'd taken from Tolfdir at Saarthal. She looked over her shoulder, tried to eye a few measurements of the room, then went back to writing. Good thing Kaidan couldn't understand planar notation or he probably would have taken them, too.</p><p>"Too small. Might have to use the space behind the house." She mumbled to herself. There wasn’t a space big enough in the house that she’d be willing to draw a portal and have enough clearance if she needed to do something like bring something large and unwieldy back (though certainly not a whole ass ancient artifact of unknown origin that was nothing but trouble).</p><p>Could she, theoretically, by saving hours and days of travel, go and get Azura’s dumb fetchit before Kaidan came back? She grabbed her previous journal and flipped to her conversation with Nelacar, trying to feel out the details that would also speed things up a bit. It was someplace along Lake Ilinalta, nearby where she and Kaidan had rested after Bleak Falls Barrow. There didn’t seem to be much of anything on the other side of the lake save for a sawmill, and there was only a small island in the middle. She didn't get to go explore the far end of the lake that was obscured by part of the mountain sliding into it. Had to be there, then. Her map showed the lake as much longer than it seemed from where she could see from the ground. There was a whole fortress on the other side. Must've been hidden by the trees.</p><p>A quick look around the back of the house revealed plenty of space, and even a little bit of privacy; there was nothing behind the house except for the city wall and a little shack that she'd never seen anyone enter or exit in the days that she'd been in town. She burned a plain circle into the rocky grass to visualize the outline, careful not to catch anything else.</p><p>'This should work. And it’s stable. And safer than inside.' Violet nodded and went in to grab a bit of paper, bringing it back outside with Tolfdir's instructions. She obviously had no intention of doing it right that second, but it would be better to do a bit of preparation now instead of wasting a good part of the morning trying to figure all of it out.</p><p>"…Wait. There isn’t going to be anyone here for my delivery from Belethor. Damn." She closed the book and clenched her fists, her nails digging into the leather cover. "Think…"</p><p>She knew full well that if she didn't leave before Kaidan got back, he'd try and discourage her from going, not understanding that she'd already healed and cured herself. Mostly. At any rate, now was the best time since this was as close as they were going to be to Bleak Falls again before going all the way back to Winterhold. If not, it was just going to languish, or they could move the artifact and she’d have no idea how to track it after that. No one ever told her if Azura was patient or not. To be honest, she didn't seem nearly as horrible as the whole Daedric Prince title usually hinted at. For one thing, she seemed to care about the little mortals who adored her. On the other hand, the thief's punishment of gradual insanity and waiting to get hunted down instead of just getting a quick death by smiting was petty.</p><p>'I can do petty.'</p><p>There was also a bit of that freedom like in Saarthal where she could be by herself and let off a little steam at stake. But then again, Kaidan was her pack mule, so she wouldn’t be able to carry as much. She didn’t even realize she was pacing around in circles, in her backyard, in the dark, while she was trying to retool the plan.</p><p>"Maybe if I go and bother him, Belethor will bring everything by first thing in the morning, which would still work if I left right after…"</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>FAST TRAVEL UNLOCKED.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>A short rest outside to catch their breath, and Kaidan finally relented to Lydia's request. He followed her to the bottom of the hill outside Fellglow as the sun started to ease over the horizon.</p><p>"That could've gone much worse, I suppose," Kaidan sighed. "We're both still in one piece. Got what we came for. 'Confiscated' enough to compensate if the college doesn’t recognize how much work it took to get these back. Stopped an incredibly stupid and dangerous attempt to summon Dremora."</p><p>"You never said what 'ungodly horrors' our thane… Violet attracts." Lydia looked around, glad for the fresh air and last rays of sun after spending all day in that stuffy, dank keep.</p><p>'Mostly dragons. Undead who worship dragons. Undead dragons. The <em>lich</em> that drove us back here to lick our wounds. Daedra. Not sure if today's vampires count since she’s not here."</p><p>"Maybe it's <em>you</em>, then," she mused.</p><p>"No, because none of this happened before I met her," he scoffed, then remembered his ex and quickly changed the subject. "Anyway, how did you wind up in Balgruuf's court?"</p><p>She shrugged. "Nothing half as incredible as your adventures. I think I'm a decent fighter. Wanted steady money instead of contracts with the Companions. Sort of glad I chose before the civil war started or else I likely would have gone off to fight. And as for being part of the court rather than a normal city guard, you just have to already know someone in. And that's all I can say about that."</p><p>"Fair enough."</p><p>Just as the light was gone, they came upon a little alcove carved out of the south side of the Falmer cave. Clusters of candles illuminated a shrine to Talos and piles of offerings. Money, armor, weapons, food, and flowers were piled around the bronze axe and the god-king's feet.</p><p>"Guess today was eventful for a lot of people." Lydia put her pack down and dug around in it for her offering.</p><p>"Betting not half as ours was." Kaidan sat on one of the benches and kept watch. The rushing river below made it a little harder to hear anything coming and the dimming light wasn't ideal either, which made him rely on his other senses more.</p><p>"I dunno…" Lydia held up a steel helmet with one of the ram horns broken off and split open at the top.</p><p>He yawned and pointed to the melted gash just below the center of her breastplate. "Maybe we should've waited for first thing in the morning."</p><p>She poked her finger into it. The atronach had almost burnt completely through the metal and underlining. There was probably still a burn mark on her skin, though the salve Violet packed worked well enough it didn't hurt. "Ugh. Adrienne’s going to give me a mouthful; she’s already full up on wartime orders. And I need to reline my boots and pants, too."</p><p>"You still held your own damn well against Daedra, undead, and several mages. Impressive. You fought any of that ilk before?"</p><p>"I think the fire Daedra are just expected with any kind of mage just because they easily scare off most people. It helped that Farengar was a bit helpful in teaching some of us how to fight them whenever he could tear himself away from his research. Skeletons and thralls? Actually never seen that kind of magic before, and I probably wouldn't have done too great if those vampires had turned on us. I hear those things are fast."</p><p>"They are." He shuddered, then left it alone so she could say her words to Talos and go.</p><p>She was about to put a small purse of their take at the shrine, when Kaidan sensed something moving nearby and smelled a storm coming. His bow was in his hand before he was even on his feet. Lydia heard him unlatch his bow from his back, but also saw the smooth, shifting movement of light and air off to her side. Her hand flew to her regular sword, but she wasn't quite fast enough before an High Elven man in a black uniform and iron flesh appeared beside her and grabbed her wrist.</p><p>"You Nords have had so many warnings," the man chided her, his hand crawling with thick, hard-packed ice. "And yet, you're the <em>sixth</em> we've caught <em>today</em>."</p><p>Kaidan already had an arrow trained on him and fired when he noticed that the Thalmor didn't seem to care about his presence. 'Where’s the other one—'</p><p>An arm reached from behind him and put him in a choke hold, pulling him backwards. A grating voice laughed as a thin, jagged blade slipped through the leather armor under his raised bow arm and into his chest. "Doubt an Outlander knows the first thing about the false god, but aiding and abetting and all that."</p><p>At the same time, the limb tip of Kaidan's bow swung back over his shoulder and shoved the Thalmor off and away from him with a sharp yelp and a lot of cursing on the elf's part. Moving like that hurt surprisingly little… because the blade was poisoned and his side was already going numb. Fuck! Kaidan already missed the keep with the pain in his arse mages. At least they were shite at magic enough he didn't really have to worry about nearly any of them. Thalmor, especially Justiciars, fought dirty and knew how to make every moment with them the worst of your life. These sons of bitches had to die <em>now</em>.</p><p>*</p><p>Lydia saw the arrow pin the Thalmor mage's arm to his side and heard his shout, then heard Kaidan shout, which shook her into action. Kaidan mentioned that their thane had a nasty temper (and going by how she'd killed all those dragons, Lydia believed it), so it probably wouldn't end well for anyone if she had to get out of her sickbed to come rescue them (or retrieve their corpses). Violet was definitely attached to him as much as they were always needling each other.</p><p>She pushed down the pain of the ice locking her joints up, grabbed her new glass sword with her other hand (iron wouldn't cut it against more iron, even if it was only as thick as a layer of skin), then grabbed his wrist right back so he couldn’t retreat and sliced his belly open. He clutched the wound and retaliated by passing an ice spear clear up her forearm. That finally got her to let go.</p><p>'What was that about being a decent fighter?!' The whole thought had swearing and screaming drowning out every word. But one arm was still working, and now that it wasn’t crossed over her body, her sword also found its way between ribs. The sword went much, much deeper into the mage's chest, and twisted thrice for good measure. One for Talos, one for her arm, and one for Kaidan. She didn't expect the bright crack of lightning explode out from his chest and blow her backwards away from him.</p><p>*</p><p>While Kaidan could wield his nodachi with only one hand, it obviously wasn't ideal. Not that any part of this was. The bow was useless except maybe to guard, and he couldn’t even move his arm now to put pressure to the wound. It was already getting kind of hard to breathe. Starfall had better be healed up enough to fix this…</p><p>While the justiciar was getting back on his feet, Kaidan dropped the bow and grabbed his sword. Seeing his attacker now, he was in that fuck ugly gold and malachite armor. Despite it looking light and brittle, the armor was incredibly durable. And with certain magic, it didn't matter that it reflected every speck of light and clicked and scraped with every movement. What did matter was that the only places that were easily vulnerable were his face and throat. The elven rogue had a glass dagger in his hand and the other clutched what was left of his face. At least he had range on his side, as long as this bastard didn't come at his now paralyzed side. Which he would.</p><p>"Makes me think you've been stabbed in the back a few times before. And that I should have planted this in the back of your neck. Damn." The Altmer spat. Blood flowed between his fingers from the gash along the length of his face. He threw his dagger (which Kaidan easily deflected) and used that tiny distraction to summon a Daedric sword for some extra reach.</p><p>Kaidan only glared back. At least they were there to kill them instead of abduction and interrogation, again. The maiming they did trying to subdue without killing often just frustrated them enough to take it out of your flesh later.</p><p>Kaidan held his sword pointed down in a defensive position to protect his side, but dodged out of the way of the charge at the last second. One foot slid dangerously close to catching the tip of his own blade and his limp arm caught just a graze of the Daedric sword, but he was able to swipe the justiciar's leg out from under him. The second the elf hit the ground, the nodachi followed and slipped in between his collar and helmet, going right where the damned idiot told him to put it.</p><p>Brynjar had said that his mother liked to do that move, and that he thought it was too risky to pass on to him. Kaidan would have laughed if he didn't feel the paralysis poison wearing off and his chest catching fire.</p><p>"Lydia?!" He coughed. He'd heard her scream and hoped she'd be able to hang on long enough for him to help her. But with the poison wearing off, so was his adrenaline, and the dizziness had him nervous.</p><p>"I'm… alive…" She didn't sound too sure or happy about it.</p><p>She was making her way over to him with her bag, though he wondered what she expected him to do with the same problem of only having one working arm. He stumbled to his bench again and flopped down beside his own pack.</p><p>'Thank the Nine that Star packed an entire apothecary shop for us.' He pushed himself to move faster before they both bled out.</p><p>"As much as I'm trusting your judgement here, I don't know if they're fast enough to work before <em>this</em> finishes melting and then I'm done. And even if I do figure it out, that …was… my sword arm.' Lydia knew not to pull the spear out yet despite the pain, but it was still melting quickly. She grabbed a roll of bandages and tied her upper arm up extra tight using her teeth.</p><p>Kaidan already had two bottles out and braced himself. Antidote first, even though the numbing poison was keeping him from feeling so much worse. "Starfall has a scar… in the same spot for a close reason, and she… can still wield her magic and spears. She should… be able to fix—!"</p><p>Starfall <em>lied</em>! She'd said she was able to improve the taste of these things! 'Don't spit it out, don't be sick, don't die just from the taste…'</p><p>Seeing Kaidan instantly turn green and try to keep his stomach down was not helping her fears that they were still in serious trouble, but it still had to be better than bleeding to death. 'At least they didn't poison me, I suppose.'</p><p>A few seconds after it hit her stomach, she felt that healing itch completely take over the pain from the spear and her body divert all of her energy to healing. It was mostly melted now, but her arm wasn't going to heal all the way until she finished pulling it out. She groaned, "Uhhh, can you…?"</p><p>Kaidan was busy using two large healing potions to wash out the taste of the antidote. "A second…"</p><p>She picked at the spear herself, but pulling on it made her flinch and get frustrated with herself. "The jarl's going to want to know that the Thalmor have been hiding here murdering people. The sixth <em>today</em>? And how long have they been hiding out here? And there are shrines like these to Talos all over Skyrim. Shit…"</p><p>"If he doesn't already," he muttered under his breath.</p><p>"He does not take the Thalmor lightly. Thing is, he knows that neither side would be able to protect the city from the other." She shook her head.</p><p>He turned to her. "Get another potion, drink it now… and give me your arm."</p><p>Lydia wasn't squeamish, but she still turned away from looking at it as he gave a sharp jerk to the now dark red spear. She quickly had to cover her mouth to keep from drawing any other attention. There was far less blood than she was expecting, but more than she’d ever lost as a guard. A few minutes more, and the only marks left were two ugly bruises and scars.</p><p>"Like she bottles up her own life-saving magic. And makes it taste like it's going to bloody murder you, instead." He pitched the ice into the grass. The temptation to just lie on the bench and sleep was near overwhelming. "Not sure I can make it back… to the farmsteads right now."</p><p>"Well it's not exactly safe to stay here out in the open with the Falmer right around the corner. Other than going back to the keep, I don't know what choice we have. If we don’t pass out, we probably wouldn’t make it back to the farmsteads until morning."</p><p>"Probably the best thing to go back, sleep this off, and try again in the morning. Starfall won’t mind us being gone one more day. Plus, the keep’s empty. Lock the doors. Clear out all the dead, take over and forge a deed, make Starfall actual nobility, and she would punch me if I suggested that…" He tried to chuckle and realized he was still very sore as he spat out blood. Ah. Nicked the lung. Damn shit elf.</p><p>"You mean she wouldn't want a big, empty, quiet castle already full of free books and magic equipment?" She stood up and winced. Being a steward wasn’t so bad, just a bit boring.</p><p>"Which she would never get to use because she's trying to stop whatever's happening with the dragons, and knowing her luck, a dragon would demolish it while we're off somewhere doing gods know what."</p><p>Lydia quickly snooping through the Thalmor agents' possessions turned up more gold (likely taken from the other victims) that Lydia tossed a share of onto the altar along with their heads. The note on the inquisitor was a small relief that it seemed to be a general directive to stamp out any Talos worship instead of them specifically looking for Kaidan and Starfall. He also noted that Elenwen's stamp was on it. She was the head of the Thalmor presence in Skyrim. Didn’t that bitch have anything better to do than to murder a bunch of farmers?</p><p>He leaned on her as they trudged back up the hill to the keep, and on barring the front door and the doors to the basement, raided the kitchens and took some of the food and most of the alcohol. Lydia questioned if that was safe after they both suffered as much blood loss as they did, and Kaidan shrugged and kept drinking. Since all of those mages were mostly in the basements and laboratories, they didn't have much trouble finding empty rooms to crash in. There was no sign of Orthorn and they were perfectly fine with that.</p><p>"Do the Thalmor count as ungodly horrors? Because that's another case for the problem being you." She asked as they sat in front of a fireplace.</p><p>"One, no, they don't, as horrible as they are. Two, it is <em>not</em> me. And three, <em>you're</em> the one who asked to go visit the shrine." He realized his tone had taken a sharp edge and he sighed into his mug. "It just seems like it because now it's my job to actually get involved with all of it. And hers too."</p><p>Lydia just stared into the fire as her mind wandered. He said she'd held her own well, but that was just a lot of annoying wizards and a few common monsters. Those were nothing versus the dragons that the western watchtower and Riverwood guards described. And travelling with someone who could drop an entire <em>building</em> on one to kill it, or divert a river, or take on a horde of undead and a lich by herself. Who very likely would not have suffered something as trivial as being ambushed by a couple of thugs, if Kaidan's story of their initial escape from them was any indication. Of course she hadn't actually spent much time with… Violet. Hell, she still had to remind herself of her name.</p><p>*</p><p>Violet was awake bright and early to finish preparing everything, and wondered if she should just go check on her order by going by Belethor's as soon as he opened. She’d gotten a lot of work done after she'd cemented her plan, though she was realizing now that there was more than a bit of spite and pettiness in all of this rather than the urgent need to be productive. He <em>did</em> tell her to get out of bed and go outside. Except this was the first stretch of rest she'd had since… since… the last time she was grievously injured.</p><p>She swore at herself again, which turned into that seed of doubt that she shouldn’t be doing what she was doing. But if she didn't, she'd just be angry at herself later for not doing it, angry for waiting until everyone came back and needing a break while she'd already had hers, losing the momentum, and just giving up and going back to Winterhold without it, making sure that it wouldn't get done for at least several more months.</p><p>There were already far too many things on the 'not going to get done soon if ever' list. She was leaving today.</p><p>As she was bottling up the last few doses of medicine for herself and yawning her way through writing an instruction letter, there was a knock at the front door. It reminded her to come back to the present, which then made her wonder what time it actually was. It wasn’t especially bright outside of her study window. Early morning. Hearing the knock a second time finally pushed her to actually move away from her desk. It hadn't been that long since people saw fit to pound down her door at all hours because they were sick (or needed a fix). But it couldn't have been that; she hadn't advertised, and wasn't going to.</p><p>A Nordic man had a small cart in front of her house and was pulling a large crate from the back.</p><p>"Violet? I'm Sigurd; got your order here from Belethor. Though looking at the receipt, you probably could have used all these last night and not this morning." He shrugged.</p><p>"Better now than later, though." She said and looked at the receipt, then helped him drag it up the stairs to sit between the two bedrooms.</p><p>"I’d also be careful opening it up. It's all packed in there tightly," he cleared his throat. "Don’t put your face directly over the lid."</p><p>"I'll just leave it until I can get some help with it. Not all mine, anyway. Thanks."</p><p>As soon as they were finished, Violet went to go get the rest of her things together. It took half the night and a lot of "guesswork" from the map she had, but she was somewhat confident that she wouldn’t wind up creating a disaster. The scaling, numbers, and portal creation weren’t the difficult part, it was likely going to be seeing if she could do something as stupid and dangerous as creating two portals (something she'd only done while drunk and couldn't overthink it, or with help) so many miles apart to a place that she'd only been to once before.</p><p>"Bag's packed. Left note. Have to use my old destruction robes and buy more robes <em>again</em> once I get back," she grumbled, then stalled for several minutes more.</p><p>When she went around to the back of the house to her teleportation ward, she checked her notes a fifth time, drank what felt like too much tea made of seagrass pods and spriggan (Kaidan's insinuation somehow managed make it taste even stranger), and replicated what Tolfdir had explained to her (Sanguine's instructions were similar, but made a lot less sense through the drunken haze). Several seconds of concentration rewarded her with a bright, circular window pasted against the back of the house. It showed a patch of lakeshore with a bit of a mountain sliding into it. It sort of looked familiar? It had been a few months since she was last there, to be fair.</p><p>She knew that she gave herself a bit of clearance so that she didn't bump into anything, and on touching the distorted air and light, dropped a short ways onto soft, wet silt with a tiny yelp. Make sure everything was where it was supposed to be with a lot of patting. It was. Boots were a bit soggy, though. Could be so, so, <em>so</em> much worse. She quickly got her journal out and looked around. The lake with the little island in the middle. The mountain in front of her was snowy on the top and she could see the giant ancient building covered in broken arches. That was Bleak Falls. Even Kaidan's little tent was sort of still there, looking much worse from the elements. Honestly, she wasn't sure it would still be there, even though that was the memory imprint she used to mark the waypoint. She checked her map against her surroundings, made several notes, and closed the portal behind her. She'd done it.</p><p>Her loud, mad, uncontrolled cackling echoed off of the mountain.</p><p>*</p><p>"Sounds like someone's taking my advice. Good for her." Anise (1) nodded sagely and kept chopping vegetables.</p><p>Sig mimicked her.</p><p>*</p><p>"And now for the shit part." Violet’s head, shoulders, and posture slumped over. The moment was already gone.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>(1) Book 1: Chapter 16.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>A B C D E F G.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was late morning by the time Violet finished climbing rocks and navigating trees to Fort Ilinalta. She stood on the docks, staring at the stone ruins. The map said there was a fort here. It didn’t show that the fort had slid off the mountain and sunk so far into the lake that only the watchtower was still above water.</p><p>'Would anybody be stupid enough to still be down there? What if a wall collapsed? They'd all drown in minutes. But I guess it would work to deter people who'd be smart enough not to go down into a sunken ruin.' She groaned and scouted around, checking if there was another way in or anything useful by the shoreline. The smaller tower had a roof hatch and that was it.</p><p>'At least it's just a fort and not wandering around in a barrow. …Unless this is recent and everyone’s already drowned horribly, making this an underwater tomb.' Violet paused and growled at herself a moment before very carefully climbing down the hatch.</p><p>Ilinalta's Deep was cold, dark, and wet. Water flowed down the walls in a full waterfall, and as soon as she was at the bottom of the ladder, the boots she'd just dried outside were soaked up to her shins again.</p><p>'Don't know why I bothered.'</p><p>If the sunken building didn't deter someone, whoever was here had chained up a skeleton in the middle of the room to emphasize the point. At its feet was a backpack with a journal, and reading it was a lot of superstition on the part of the locals warning this poor fool to stay away. If these idiots were feeding people to the Star to sustain Malyn, wouldn't it make more sense to spread tales of treasure down here for a steady supply of foolhardy— That's not what she was there for. Don’t help them. She tossed the journal away and put her iron armor up.</p><p>The flooding only got worse the deeper into the fort she went until she had to stand on little makeshift islands in the main hall. Another waterfall seemed to be coming from a blocked off door upstairs, and there was a hallway leading even deeper down off to the side.</p><p>'If I had stolen a Daedric artifact and was feeding it a bunch of people and had to dispose of the bodies after, would I put it in the basement, which is likely flooded but also probably has a hatch to just throw them into the lake, or in the tower, where it might be drier but judging by this waterfall, probably isn't but would also be easier to drag bodies downstairs instead of up?'</p><p>To help decide, she cast Detect Life and found there was actually an entire cult’s worth of people after this one crazed idiot with an incredibly unfun toy. Detect Death was a whole other horror story. Half of the fort was haphazard clouds of blue spread out all over the place. So much for her logic.</p><p>"They’re necromancers," she muttered. "Only reason to keep the corpses. Fuck."</p><p>Shame she didn’t have a spell that located items. Though… she sort of did. A quick check to make sure no one was nearby or coming in her direction, and she cast the Clairvoyance spell that she’d learned from Drevis. It was still draining, but slightly less so, this time. She framed her desire on the location of the Azura’s Star, rather than thinking of the way to get there. The sparkling smoke went straight up through the ceiling. Helpful, but also not doable. But now she knew to go upstairs instead of down. She impatiently fidgeted for her normal sight to come back.</p><p>There weren’t any stairs up from the main hall, but there was the waterfall. So much for staying dry. She put her hands up to the rushing water and froze it solid, then made gritty hand and foot holds to climb on. An awkwardly angled ice wall diverted the still moving water from under the door off to the sides. This is where Kaidan would have been useful to give her a boost and then she could have made the whole thing look less slapdash and ugly. But it was fast, it worked, and she wasn’t completely soaked. Just slightly. A quick second Clairvoyance check of the door off to the side showed her the way back down. Wrong way.</p><p>She could see and hear there were people nearby, so she tried her best to blend into the shadows, and the rushing water under the flooding door muffled any sound. They were arguing about something or other.</p><p>A man blustered in his frustration. "More souls are needed for the Star. The last one died before he could even be harvested!"</p><p>"We can't take another villager from the surface so soon. I told you to prepare everything properly!" A woman warned him.</p><p>Did they really not have any clue that the villages already knew people frequently went missing around here?</p><p>"We can just sacrifice another disciple. Apprentice Haerlon will be no great waste." He said nonchalantly.</p><p>'Cold…' Violet scoffed. They were even throwing <em>each other</em> into the Star. Wait. Disciple? What could they have possibly been telling people that would sucker them into following a necromantic cult?</p><p>"Yes. He'll do." The woman sounded like she was already scheming on how to get rid of the soon to be very sorry apprentice.</p><p>'Mm-hmm. Fuckin' necro trash,' she thought, carefully and quietly forming an ice spear in each hand.</p><p>She snuck a peek around the corner, then leaned out and around and let them fly. There were two horrible shouts and crashes that Violet hoped wouldn’t bring more people. Aim for their heads next time. She quickly slipped in and burned the corpses to make sure they were completely dead.</p><p><em>A</em>lways <em>b</em>e <em>c</em>ertain (of) <em>d</em>eath. <em>E</em>very <em>f</em>uckin' <em>g</em>houl. Especially ones in possession of and worshipping something stolen from a Daedric Prince. She’d have to tell that one to Kaidan later. See if he had a sense of humor outside of picking on her.</p><p>Taking a look around, there were plenty of free books, soul gems (of course), and potions to be had. Soul gems were expensive and she'd never turn those down. Alchemy from necromancers (or really any unknown source) was asking for trouble. Free books to pad out the shelves at home. Very nice. Not enough space in her pack for all or even some of them. She grunted in annoyance and kept moving.</p><p>There was one living and far too many dead behind a sturdy wooden door. The live one would raise the dead ones, and then it’d just be chaos. She wasn’t in the mood for chaos. 'Am I ever, though?'</p><p>Violet waited until the flame was walking away from the door, slowly and quietly opened it, then put a spear through the back of their skull. No noise. No raised thralls. Much better. Hell, she might even make it back home in time for dinner. Catch a fish from the lake on the way out and just toss it and all this junk through the portal. Use it with lots of fresh herbs to placate Kaidan when he inevitably became angry that she left so soon on her own after being so sick. Something something way to a man's heart… ew. No. Heart’s not connected to the stomach. That would hurt. A lot. She was getting distracted. Her mood was too good and that would get her injured and then hating herself for not paying attention. She took the necromancer's money and left the staff; already had too many of those. Their head came off and was burned.</p><p>The hallway was lined with prison cells and they were all full of corpses and skeletons. How many people had they kidnapped?! It made her wonder if she shouldn't go back and clear out the bottom floors to stop anyone else here from keeping this mess up. Or maybe they’d stop when someone came upstairs sooner or later and Azura's Star was long gone with everyone else dead. That should be a good enough message to get out, right? Violet decided to press on.</p><p>Another necromancer had set up an altar in one of the flooded rooms ('How were they all not afraid of drowning horribly?!') and had what looked like a large random pile of bones. She remembered the nasty bone golems under Winterhold. No. She was definitely not in the mood for that. That was done by a lich, though. Everyone here seemed to still be alive… until she'd come in.</p><p>Violet watched him pace for a few minutes checking something she couldn't see, then start reading over the altar. Don't let him finish. Don't listen to the dark whispers. Don't let him live. She readied her spear and aimed for his head. She let the spear fly, and just as it reached him, it crashed against his aethereal shield and jolted him out of the spell.</p><p>"Who's there?!" he shouted as he turned his skin to iron.</p><p>"Someone in here is finally good enough to have a permanent shield. Guess it couldn't be too easy for me," the ice mage sighed to herself. "But maybe now he's too distracted to build some kind of horrible abomination."</p><p>He quickly raised a large group of skeletons from the pile instead, as it was faster than trying to build something more dangerous. Violet cursed, but still, it wasn't <em>too</em> terrible. Skeletons, even when armed, were hands down the weakest spell a necromancer could cast. They had no brains, no strength, and nothing holding them together. They all saw her in the doorway and rushed over at the same time.</p><p>'Yes, please group up a little closer…' And a fireball blasted bones all over the room; he wouldn't be able to reassemble them before she tore him apart. She glared at the now very angry and nervous necromancer. "I'm here for Azura's Star. She wants it back."</p><p>"Hmph. But she couldn't be bothered to come get it, herself?" The Dunmer man scoffed and readied bright flames in each hand.</p><p>"I know! That's what <em>I</em> said! But she said she'd 'reward' me, so we'll… I'll see where that gets me. Probably betrayed. That's what usually happens when you deal with Daedra. But anyway, fuck you all for killing all these people." She spat and created another spear.</p><p>Without his skeletons, he was forced into using his own Destruction magic, but just as he could shield against her ice, she shielded against his fireballs.</p><p>This time, she pitched the spear into the middle of the deep water flooding the room and continuously pulsed lightning through it. Before he could make it out of the water and back to a higher platform, his ankles froze to the bottom and his magicka and shield ran out. His iron flesh conducted the electricity and Violet realized through all the flashing lights that she'd have to wait for it all to disperse before she could go over and keep him from being resurrected.</p><p>"Should've thought that through a little better," she grumbled as she watched the charred corpse fall into the water. She sat down in the doorway and started writing. 'Haven't had a break in a while, anyway.'</p><p>She could already tell there was nothing useful in the room, and the dead man only had a few more soul gems and now burnt ritual components on him. Nothing about the Star. One side of the room went down deep into the water and a cave-in, the other went up a spiral staircase. Up, then.</p><p>*</p><p>"Gods…" Violet stared at the piles of stripped clean skeletons and bodies littered around the large, circular room, including various bones tied to the ceiling as decorations. One skeleton sat on a throne with piles of treasure on and around it like a terrible shrine. It held an incredibly large soul gem in its lap and a book under its feet. "All this for one man stupid enough to steal a soul gem."</p><p>There was a lot of grumbling while trying not to get tangled up in the piles of bones, knocking over candles, and stepping around the body of a woman who'd just been sacrificed. A little extra cursing because it'd be far too much work to get at all the (literal) blood money spread out underneath the corpse pile. How did it all escalate into this? Yes, the Star was cursed, but was the madness contagious or something? She stared at Azura's Star and the gaudy skeleton who she presumed was the present 'owner'.</p><p>"Malyn. Can you even hear me in there?" She leaned on the side of the chair and waited too long for no answer, and instead turned to the soul captive audience. "The real question is, would all this have happened if Azura hadn't driven him insane first? Could've spared a whole fort full of people if she'd sent someone to come get it right after he stole it instead of being petty. Daedric Princes."</p><p>As soon as she plucked the Star out of Malyn’s lap, both his skeleton and the Star crumbled into several pieces. "Oh, <em>fuck</em>!"</p><p>Somebody messed up somewhere, and it wasn't her (for once). Nelacar said the thing couldn't break. Did those ham-fisted idiots downstairs do this? Was it deteriorating because Malyn abused it trying to fit so many souls in it? Looking at it, it was iridescent like most soul gems, but as large as a dinner plate and had arms like a stylized sun. Azura's mark. Three of the arm tips were cracked off, the center had a big chip, and the metal arm braces were dented. It probably wasn’t supposed to be black and sickly looking inside, either. Azura had better not pin this on her. Or maybe this was why she’d had enough and finally sent somebody to go get it.</p><p>Flipping through Malyn's <em>grimoire</em> ('oh please, it's your deranged diary, shut the fuck up'), it was just a lot of masturbation to his own cleverness and thinking he'd gotten away with one-upping Azura. Notes about how he'd done it, some stuff about the kidnappings, but nothing about it breaking. Admittedly interesting methodology about the states and natures of souls in various containers— NO. No. Close it. She clapped the book shut and shoved it and the various offerings into her pack. She was either going to need a bigger bag ('ugh!'), or find some other way to store more things if she was going to run more errands and jobs on her own.</p><p>She realized she was slowly getting the hang of Skyrim. Damn, that was a rough start. Or maybe this was just an easy job compared to everything else.</p><p>Violet took another look around the room and noticed there was a ladder leading upward. She'd been moving towards the top of the fort, but if the whole fort was underwater, and that hatch wasn’t leaking, then where did it go? She went up, carefully opened the hatch, saw there was a lot of fresh, open air from that vantage point, and quickly climbed back down. It was the other tower she saw from the outside and there was no way down from there (unless someone was foolhardy and tried to jump into the lake.)</p><p>"Guess I'm not going that way. Not too far back to the main hall downstairs, I don't think."</p><p>Backtracking was quick despite the stops to make sure no one had come in after her and was searching for whoever caused all this mayhem. A few of the cult members were standing around in the main hall confused as to what had happened, but she used all of the standing and flowing water to freeze them solid then smash them with lightning before they noticed her. No, she was already done. Too late. Leaving now. Her bag was full, anyway.</p><p>The solid, non-flooded ground on the shore made her want to lie down in the grass and cry. It was late afternoon and the lake was sparkling and tranquil compared to what she'd been doing underneath it. The temptation was overwhelming to lock them down there and finish flooding the place, but she supposed she could settle with telling the guards back in Whiterun what had been going on. She made her way back to Kaidan's abandoned camp so she wouldn't have to make new calculations, and considered actually seeing if she could get that fish she was thinking about earlier. Sure. She could even tell him that she'd sat back and relaxed a little outside like he wanted her to. It was sunset by the time she was finished weaving the portal back.</p><p>*</p><p>Kaidan and Lydia were still sore the next day, but still better than dead. This time, they made their way down to the shrine again to check <em>extra carefully</em> if anyone had come by, found nothing (the elves' heads were still on the altar undisturbed), and kept following the river until they reached the Battle-born's farm on the Whiterun outskirts later in the day. Lydia negotiated a cart ride back to the city gates, and Kaidan paid for it. She told him to keep his mouth shut about the Thalmor, as Lydia knew they were staunch Imperialists, and wouldn't doubt that there could be gossip. They were only out at Fellglow to clear out a threat, and their battered state was because a bunch of idiot wizards did it.</p><p>The two warriors reached Whiterun at sundown, and both were thankful that they lived close to the gate. As soon as they were inside the walls, they got a talking to by one of the inner gate guards.</p><p>"Oi. Outlander. Lydia. Tell the thane to watch it with the spells when you see her. All the lights and her mouth are making people nervous." The guard outside of Warmaiden's shook his head.</p><p>Kaidan took a deep breath, and kept walking. At least it sounded like she'd been working on healing like she said she would. As they came up to the house, they found another Redguard woman waiting at the front door. His head drooped. 'Could do without visitors right now.'</p><p>"Sister Ahlam? What are you doing here? Is everything alright?" Lydia asked.</p><p>She turned and almost jumped at the two looking haggard and bloody. "By the Eight, I should be asking you two that! I just came to check up on Violet, make sure she was feeling a bit better today. What did she send you out to do?!"</p><p>He groaned. "Get library books. And if we’ve got to have this conversation, I'd rather do it inside with Starfall patching all this up. …Wait. How long have you been waiting out here?" Why didn’t Starfall open the door?</p><p>"Only a few minutes? Not long." Ahlam said. "I don’t think she’s home, though."</p><p>Lydia opened the door and everyone filed in. The hearth was cold and the candles were all out.</p><p>"…Starfall?" Kaidan called out while dropping his pack behind the door. "She didn't…"</p><p>"Maybe she's just around town." Ahlam said while looking around. Cozy, though it seemed a little small for a noble. "I met her yesterday at the temple and we had a nice conversation. Thought she might want another day out."</p><p>The side window gave off a brief flash, and they all heard a small thump and grunt around the back of the house.</p><p>"She did." But he had taken her notes! …Why did he even think that would slow her down?</p><p>A few minutes later, Starfall walked in and found everyone standing around the hearth in the dark. "Umm? Hello?"</p><p>"Starfall…" Kaidan groaned. "Honestly, never mind. Not now."</p><p>"Why are you all standing around in the dark? Ahlam? You actually came to check up on me? Wow." She dropped her things onto the table by the door and a few fresh logs into the hearth. A small stream of fire from her hand warmed and lit the room considerably.</p><p>"We just got in. And could use a minute before I ask what on Nirn you were up to." He sank into a chair in front of the hearth.</p><p>"Are you two alright?" She came over and used one of her magelights to get a better look at them.</p><p>"Lydia?" He nodded over to Ahlam.</p><p>"She's safe. My thane… Violet. We were attacked by the Thalmor on the way back. We're… mostly alive. They stabbed and poisoned him and my arm is…" She struggled slightly with clenching her fist and showed her the two big, bruised scars on her palm and elbow.</p><p>"Shit!" She covered her mouth, completely forgetting there was a priestess in the room. "Alright. Give me a minute. Armor off so I can see what happened."</p><p>"You need me to come back tomorrow?" Ahlam asked. "Unfortunately, I'm not as good a healer as Sister Danica, and apparently yourself."</p><p>"Sorry, actually. This might take a while." Violet had already disappeared into her little study and came back with a big pitcher of water and was digging around in a cabinet for her medical supplies.</p><p>"It's alright. I know you're all extra busy. But at least you're looking better." She moved around towards the door and saw Violet's spear full of fish leaning against the table. "And I'm sad I'm going to miss these slaughterfish. Dua shahs?"</p><p>Her Craglorn accent popped. "Lonhe'te!"</p><p>And so did Ahlam's Bangkorai. "Alright, then." She waved on the way out.</p><p>Kaidan looked between the two of them with an eyebrow raised until Violet started helping with his armor. "You <em>do</em> seem to be better."</p><p>"Blood corruption, anemia, and smoke inhalation. Nothing a lot of purifying fire didn’t fix." Violet grimaced and passed everyone water, then finished the pitcher herself. "Now. Do you want to start from the beginning, or just explain this?"</p><p>He grunted as the metal bands of his chestplate pulled at his sore side. "Don't worry, they weren’t looking for us. They were ambushing Talos worshippers and killing them. One got my side as I shot the other attacking Lydia."</p><p>Once his armor and shirt were off, she felt the dark, ugly wound, making him twitch and grunt. "Sorry. Haven't had time to work on my bedside manner. Doesn't help it looks like you've aggravated this really badly."</p><p>"Just what <em>were</em> you doing, then? I thought I'd given enough of a hint that you should just work on healing since you were so set on not going outside." He looked at her kneeling beside him and let his arm rest on the top of her head.</p><p>She glanced up at it and patted his shoulder. "I did. I healed myself and rested. Then I felt better. Better being relative as it pisses me off a bit that I actually <em>wanted</em> to go throw myself into harm's way. Anyway, I decided that if I wanted to get… <em>you know who</em> to <em>leave you alone</em> before I go back to the college, now would be a good time to go get <em>her fetchit</em>. You're welcome. Also, you wanted me to go outside; I went outside. There was even time for fishing. They're big and evidently getting fried, now. Was just going to toss 'em in a pot for stew because I'm worn out, but now I need it. …There's no residual poison or infection in here. That's good. Brace yourself, then go rest a bit."</p><p>"You went to the lake, got the relic, went <em>fishing</em>, and came back here in less than a day?!" Kaidan blinked. "We've been out for three!"</p><p>She paused. "Maybe if you'd left me <em>my</em> notes, I could have cut a day off of it. Or maybe you would have landed over a cliff. I can really only go to places I’ve already been, so you could have been immediately killed in an accident and I’d never know."</p><p>Bright yellow wisps streamed into his side and Lydia covered her ears as best she could from the shout cut off with coughing. That 'sorry' earlier wasn’t seeming so sincere, now…</p><p>The two stared each other down for a tense moment before Violet moved out of the way for Kaidan to go upstairs, and she moved over to Lydia. "Now. How did <em>this</em> happen?"</p><p>She hesitated a moment, then held her arm out and tried to flex it. "Um. The Thalmor who ambushed me was a mage. I grabbed him so he couldn’t escape, and I got an ice lance through the arm. I guess now I'll have to learn to use the other one."</p><p>Violet showed her the long scar along her forearm. "You'll be sore for a few days, but it'll heal back to full. You’re not going to lose your sword arm."</p><p>"Kaidan had told me you're a healer. Your potions really saved us yesterday." Lydia said.</p><p>"Now I'm a damn battle medic," she muttered. Two fingers circled Lydia's palm and wisps of light dug deep into her arm.</p><p>It was painful, and itchy, and she tried not to squirm, but most of the restraint went to covering her mouth with her other hand so she didn't scare the blacksmiths next door. The wisps worked their way through her arm and two fingers from Violet's other hand met at the bruise just behind her elbow.</p><p>"My thane. I'm sorry. It was my fault. After we left Fellglow Keep, I insisted that we stop at Talos's shrine just southwest of there. I had no idea that the Thalmor were there.”</p><p>Violet's voice deepened into a growl. "Did you make them suffer?"</p><p>Lydia’s eyebrows went up and she pointed at the glass sword scabbard on the floor under the weapon rack. It was still slightly spattered with blood. "...Their heads are at Talos's feet."</p><p>She nodded and softened her voice a bit. "Good. All's forgiven. Change into a comfortable shirt so I can wrap your elbow. I need to sit a minute."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The Blooded Dawn and the Dusk of Sanity.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The longer Violet sat in front of the fire, the less she wanted to do anything else. She’d overextended herself using her magicka all day and on a new, powerful spell, then came home and immediately had to heal everyone. The freedom high was coming down. She also realized she’d hardly eaten anything all day and expended so much of her physical energy. Kaidan and Lydia still had one working arm each, so they could still help.</p><p>She showed them the recipe she and Ahlam were talking about, though it still wouldn’t taste quite right without the Hammerfell spices she’d ordered. Spiced flour over fish stuffed with herbs (to which she had to reassure them none of it was 'poisonous' or what she found under a rock). They didn’t care about the “right” spices (considering the ‘wrong’ spices were what they were used to) and were ravenous enough that all of the fish disappeared quickly and gratefully. Over dinner, they each shared their adventures over the past few days, and she finished wrapping their arms so they wouldn’t aggravate them again and she’d have to start over.</p><p>“Right…” Violet rubbed her face and moved to clear the cookpot. “Can’t leave you two alone or you get bullied by inept wizards and Thalmor.”</p><p>“We’re not children,” Kaidan said, realizing too late that he sounded petulant.</p><p>“And yet, here I am putting bandages on and feeding you. Your loss. Ouchie kisses and sweets are only for <em>good</em> little patients,” she scoffed and picked her teeth. Slaughterfish was delicious, and Kaidan’s mood had… well, he wasn’t glaring at her anymore.</p><p>“Wait, I could have gotten candy and a kiss for sitting still?” Lydia pouted at the two of them.</p><p>“And an extra for killing the Thalmor,” Violet said.</p><p>Kaidan shook his head. “Don’t encourage her. <em>Please</em>.”</p><p>*</p><p>After getting everyone taken care of, Violet grabbed one of her new books and fell into bed for about two minutes before remembering how much she hated the cold, hard, ugly pile of furs, and that her crate was sitting in the loft. Lydia didn’t have a crowbar (her asking for one immediately roused Kaidan’s suspicion), so she wedged the tip of one of her spears into a corner and the lid popped off with a loud bang as it hit the wall.</p><p>She jumped and winced from the noise. “Ow…”</p><p>“What was that?” Kaidan asked wearily from downstairs.</p><p>“I also bought everyone presents.”</p><p>“That explode?”</p><p>“Belethor’s assistant said he packed everything too tight into the crate.”</p><p>“You say we can’t be left alone, but you’ve been spending all our money and running off.”</p><p>“I replaced what I spent with what I took from the necromancers, and we can sell whatever else we found once it’s all sorted out,” Violet said then muttered under her breath, “Pretty sure it evened out, anyway.”</p><p>“We haven’t counted it out, but those mages at Fellglow had a lot of money to run their operation. They also had hundreds of books, but I wasn’t carrying a whole library back for you and Urag only asked for three in particular.” Kaidan said, coming up to see what needed to be over-packed in a crate. “What did you buy?”</p><p>“What you told me to.” And she handed him a big, fluffy pillow.</p><p>He took it in his free arm and squeezed it for a few seconds. “Hm.”</p><p>“And two pillows and a quilt for Lydia…” Violet threw them into her room and onto the bed.</p><p>She called from downstairs, “Oh! Um, thank you?”</p><p>“And the rest for me.”</p><p>Kaidan followed her and watched in bemused silence as she turned their bed into a <em>dragon's</em> <em>nest</em> of pillows, blankets, and warm quilts. She then proceeded to roll around in them making embarrassing noises. He could’ve sworn he heard Lydia snickering from downstairs. It was right then that he knew that these two ganging up on him was going to quickly and easily burn up his last nerve.</p><p>There were worse ways to die. At least this dragon didn't breathe fire. …Yet.</p><p>“Because for some godsforsaken reason, a lot of Nords don’t know what a <em>mattress</em> is,” Violet groaned.</p><p>“You’re going to wake up hurting, <em>dovahdin</em>.” (1) He pushed the fluffy mess away from his side save for a quilt and lay down beside her.</p><p>“I won’t.”</p><p>“And we’re hardly ever going to be home to use this, now that you’re well.”</p><p>“Now that I know how to teleport, <em>no thanks to you</em>, it’ll be easier to return to this rather than paying to sleep at inns and camping in caves like wild Reach-folk,” she said, looking directly at him.</p><p>Kaidan sighed and gave her belly a few pats. “And here I thought we were making some progress in taking that spoiled city girl softness off of you.”</p><p>Violet looked down at his hand groping her. “…I <em>just</em> fixed your arm, and now you’re trying to make me break the other one.” She grabbed his wrist and gave it a sharp snap.</p><p>He sucked through his teeth and snatched his hand away, only to find she hadn’t actually done anything except scare him witless by popping the joint. He glared up at her and she was looking at him curiously, rather than in anger.</p><p>“<em>We talk tomorrow,</em>” she said with a hint of <em>dov</em> in her voice and retreated into her book.</p><p>He turned away from her.</p><p>*</p><p>Everyone slept like the dead to give everything a little more time to finish healing, and once they were all up and around mid-afternoon, they gathered in the dining room and poured piles of coin, books, treasure, and other ‘confiscated’ goods all over the table. Counted out, it all proved to be more than enough to cover the repairs and expenses. Once they’d divided the money, Kaidan called Starfall over and handed her her pack.</p><p>Just as he threatened before he'd left, he took Starfall to a pond a little bit away from Whiterun’s walls. She had packed food and her book, he kept his sword in case of trouble and grabbed a fishing pole, and Lydia simply took a day off in town. The hillock overlooked the rocky, golden plains and Violet immediately planted herself down to read her book.</p><p>“Fresh air and sunshine. The open wilds of Skyrim. Peace.” Kaidan settled down over the pond with his legs swinging over the edge.</p><p>“Don’t tempt trouble,” she mumbled from her book.</p><p>“Hmph. That’s your job.”</p><p>“It really is, though.” She looked up. “As much as I hate to admit it. And I really wish it wasn’t. But part of it means I have to figure out ways to make this easier on myself, or keep us alive by any means necessary.”</p><p>“You were barely able to walk before I left. And then when I got back, you’d waded into a necromancer’s coven by yourself to steal a Daedric artifact and had nearly beaten us home. Us <em>mortals</em> don’t recover that quickly on our own.”</p><p>She closed her eyes. “Yes, that sounds bad when you say it aloud. But it’s my <em>job</em> to bring people back from the brink of death, and that includes myself… when I’m not feeling lazy, pitiful, or reckless… I really can take care of myself.”</p><p>His head dropped back. “I know that! I want you to <em>stop</em> being <em>reckless</em>.” And preferably the other two, but one thing at a time.</p><p>“And I know you do. But recklessness also keeps us <em>alive</em>, since I’m going to have to keep doing things untested because someone, or several someones, decided this spoiled, <em>fat</em> city girl would be better suited to kill gods, demons, and mortals than an actual <em>warrior</em>. You keep saying things like don’t let my emotions control me, but what was I supposed to do in that church in Old Winterhold, Kaidan? It was collapsing on top of us. You were <em>almost dead</em>. The draugr were about to break in and tear us apart. I learned that my <em>restorative</em> magic is related to <em>necromancy</em>. Then the lich. I literally had nothing left inside me but maddening pain driving me, and then I didn’t even have <em>you</em>. Any time I try to do anything anymore, rules get broken. I don’t need you making up new ones.” She rubbed her face.</p><p>He hung his head. “I’m sorry… But please… don’t go back to the college yet. I know you’re itching to. The damage we caused that night just trying to get rid of those two monsters is probably going to start making the Thalmor actively hunt us, now.”</p><p>“And your solution to this was to hide in the central city of Skyrim, where the entire jarl’s court and a good portion of the city knows who I am and where we live.” She pinched between her eyebrows. “And anyway, I’ve already run through all the books the college left with us and I need to get more. There’s nothing else for me in the meantime.”</p><p>“Would you have preferred to wake up in Windhelm again? Or even further out to nowhere in Dawnstar? Besides, the Thalmor wouldn’t jeopardize the possibility of winning Whiterun’s favor over us. I don't think we’re more important than the war, quite yet. Give me a little credit, here!”</p><p>Violet thought about that for a while and Kaidan went back to fishing. How was she supposed to get anything done if everything they did spiraled out of control and drew someone’s attention? Kill a dragon discreetly. Kill a lich discreetly. Keep its secret underground city to yourself while giving justice to the thousands dead. Protect the handsome, (more like pretty) irritating Akaviri who keeps getting into trouble and happens to be one of the Thalmor’s greatest fears discreetly. Become a Daedric champion… actually, that one wasn’t all over the place yet or else her head would have already rolled off the platform. Speaking of… She quickly looked around for any soul flames, and found nothing but animals nearby.</p><p>“Kaidan. There’s something you need to know.”</p><p>“More secrets?” He didn’t look up from the pond and grumbled, “What else did you do?”</p><p>She twitched at the accusation. “Azura’s Star. It's broken.”</p><p>“What?” He quickly turned to her.</p><p>“When I finally found it in Ilinalta, those bastard necromancers had made a shrine around Malyn’s skeleton, and they were kidnapping anyone they could find to siphon souls to the Star. But they did something, I don’t know what. It’s all cracked to pieces. Neither Azura nor Nelacar said anything about this. I can’t fix it.”</p><p>He took a few moments to think. “Nelacar said he wanted to be shut of it and planned to do something with it; maybe he knows how to fix it. Plus, Malyn’s still in there. He’ll have to be the one to coax him out of there, anyway. Damn Daedric business.”</p><p>“Still don’t know why she’s set on bothering you if she picked me.”</p><p>“Because I’m already marked as Mehrunes Dagon’s, and you’ve seen how possessive they are. That, and I think at this point, everyone knows that touching me is the easiest way to get you to do anything with any kind of urgency,” he muttered and went back to fishing.</p><p>She stared at his back. The edge of his scars peeked from his collar. “…Why <em>did</em> you choose Mehrunes Dagon?”</p><p>Kaidan froze up. He knew it was coming for a while, though he hoped that she would let it go to spare him. He still didn’t want to even think about it. “Starfall… I… can’t…”</p><p>“Can’t, or don’t want to? Things keep happening where any and everything will set you off. All I have to do is touch your hands and you flinch and fidget. We’re going to be fighting dragons and they breathe lots and lots of <em>fire</em>. While I know full well that magic can absolutely be evil, I would have thought that I’d proven myself by now. You’re too important both ways for me to ruin that.</p><p>“We’ve seen that the gods aren’t going to leave us alone for <em>this</em>. They know something big is coming when they usually don’t give a solitary fuck about us mortals. But there still seems to be room in their busy schedules for pushing <em>your</em> buttons, specifically. So a better question is, what did <em>you and Mehrunes Dagon do</em>?” She was trying her best to push her anger down and instead spoke in a slow, even tone. “I told you mine ages ago. Please, Kai.”</p><p>She put her book down and moved to sit beside him, and he recognized her hands weaving fire over the pond in that same way that she could tell stories. As the water started to boil and the grass around the edges singed, a painfully bright, white, fire atronach formed, but was much larger, unarmored, and masculine instead of feminine. Trickles of dark red flames rolled like blood from scars of cooled lava on its wrists, heart, and back, hissing when they hit the water. It had his face, sort of; the shape was there, but atronachs didn’t have facial features unless they had armor on.</p><p>The scar on its back when she turned it around was Dagon’s mark: a dark sun of red threads far more intricate and compacted than Starfall’s fire wards, but the Daedric runes spelled out something he was cursed to never be able to speak aloud. She drew cooling lines of ice where it had been carved up and stabbed as if someone had tried to remove it and either panicked when it wouldn’t come off, or really, really, <em>really</em> hated him.</p><p>“You asked how I tell your flame from anyone else’s.”</p><p>Kaidan pulled his feet up and scrambled backwards away from the side of the ledge, as if that <em>thing</em> would break free from Starfall any second and grab him. “What? That’s… Oh gods, no…”</p><p>“This is your soul. Flames are how I see souls when I look for signs of life, but this is still different. Every life is a big candle burning down. Most aren’t this bright, distinct, and…disfigured. Ones that are… don’t last very long before burning themselves up. It leaves pools of ‘blood’ wherever you stand still for too long, which kind of explains a thing or two. No, the ‘blood’ doesn’t do anything. …I don’t think. Haven’t seen this before. Only people who can use Detect Life and Death can see it. No one else knows, unless another mage were to show them. No, I won’t ever show this to anyone else; mages tend not to use soul spells extensively unless they’re necromancers or healers, and such things are intimate and private. This… is probably still better than mine.”</p><p>Kaidan started bothering that spot over his heart and heaving for air. “Rosalind… what did you do…?! Still there…” He would have been inaudible if he hadn’t been sitting next to Starfall.</p><p>She banished the soul effigy and the flames dissipated, leaving horrible, withering heat all around them. “Who is Rosalind?”</p><p>“My back… our soul…”</p><p>“She did this to you?” Violet studied him. ‘<em>Our</em>?’</p><p>“Gods… fine. Please, just… listen. And know that I’m so sorry, Star.” Kaidan finally gathered all of his nerves, but his dead eyes could only focus on Starfall for a second before he couldn’t bear to look at her anymore and covered his face with his hands.</p><p>*</p><p>
  <em>(Eight years prior.)</em>
</p><p>A young bounty hunter sat hunched in the bushes outside of a mountain cave in northeast Cyrodiil. It was just before dawn, and these creepy bandits had finally settled in. The bounty was for the leader, but of course he wasn’t going to be able to just go in, kill him, and leave without anyone else saying something.</p><p>Kaidan studied the notice the governor’s secretary had given him. A lot of needless details, but the thing that stood out was that this one man was worth several thousand septims. Why there wasn’t a whole swarm of bounty hunters all camped out here was a complete mystery. Just what did he do?</p><p>Scanning the paper mentioned something about cult activity. Bah. Standing around a campfire, chanting to some bored Daedra that likely wouldn’t think they were worth the time or effort. Hardly worth a hundred.</p><p>He was considering just going in and slaughtering them all for fun, when one of them stumbled out into the early morning light. The hooded figure grumbled and shaded his eyes, then went over to the nearby lake. He didn’t even get to finish removing his cloak before catching an arrow through the back of the head. Kaidan rushed over and yanked him away from the water before the robes got wet and bloody, then stole the robe (and anything else valuable) and tossed the corpse in the lake. After that, getting inside was easy.</p><p>*</p><p>“What are you doing, you’re not in the Thieves Guild…” Kaidan whispered to himself as he kept his head down and explored through the dimly lit paths. They really liked this one sigil of a rising sun… or was it setting?</p><p>“You’re also a good foot and a half taller than Eliam, and he doesn’t have red eyes,” a woman whispered beside him in the darkness.</p><p>He started away from the direction of the voice. “Shit.”</p><p>“You’ve got guts, I’ll give you that.” Her finger pushed his chin up and he immediately grabbed her wrist. She smirked right in his face.</p><p>“Quiet,” Kaidan hissed at her. “Where’s your leader?”</p><p>“If I tell you, he’ll kill me. If I don’t tell you, you’ll kill me,” she said flatly.</p><p>“<em>I’m</em> here <em>now</em>.” He tightened his grip on her wrist until she squirmed in pain.</p><p>The woman nodded. “Fine. Your funeral. Follow me.”</p><p>“Into a trap. For fuck’s sake.”</p><p>“You’re the one in here looking for a fight.” She considered simply ruining his handsome face with a fireball, but there was something about this one. The others who came in here looking for an easy mark were either easily scared off or torn to pieces. He either had no idea what he was walking into, or he was the change she was looking for. “How about this, then? Maybe, if you can rid us of this current incompetent idiot, we might come to an understanding. I think you’ll find something far more rewarding here than being a lone thug about to throw his life away for a few septims.”</p><p>He was about to laugh in her face, except she was completely serious, sincere, and unafraid. That in itself should have been a warning. But warnings were to protect against losing something, which meant he could easily ignore them. “…Just show me where he is.”</p><p>The winding halls finally gave way to an underground, open, grand cathedral. So they weren’t just a bunch of crazy cave dwellers. Any of the other cultists whom they’d passed in the halls suddenly stopped what they were doing and followed this woman and the tall newcomer. These people all knew each other. Kaidan growled at how easily he would have been picked out no matter who had found him first. At least this scheming bitch knew not to get herself killed immediately.</p><p>The ring of braziers at the center of the cavern highlighted a massive statue of a four-armed Daedra looking even more monstrous than Daedra usually did. A polished marble table and dais at its feet held a living sacrifice, an Imperial man tied down and stripped bare. An Altmer man stood on the dais directly under the statue, incanting in a language Kaidan had never heard before. At the end of the incantation, the sacrifice on the table screamed and pleaded to an audience that could only hear the priest’s final words of triumph, and the runed dagger hovering beside him sought his heart on its own. As the blood poured into the channels indenting the table, the victim’s soul manifested as a point of light and was absorbed by an open book levitating over him.</p><p>This was not amateur hour. This was why the leader alone was worth thousands of septims. Kaidan could only utter a small, “Fuck.”</p><p>“Yeah, you could have thought this through a little better. We’re not petty thieves, darling.” Rosalind patted the man’s cheek. “Well, there he is at the base of the statue. Have fun out there. Don’t wind up on the table. I’m told the pain is beyond excruciating.”</p><p>She quickly regretted drawing attention to herself, as now she had a very long, runed sword sliding just under her field of vision.</p><p>“You’re coming with me,” the foolhardy bounty hunter growled in her ear.</p><p>*</p><p>“Tyrwil, you have another fool out for your blood. This is the third time this month. You’re getting sloppy,” Rosalind sighed as her ‘captor’ led her down the stairs into the sacrificial pulpit.</p><p>The rest of the congregation didn’t dare move, even to try and save her, and their leader didn’t bother looking up from his reading. “Says the one being used as a hostage. Rosalind, you really couldn’t have killed a single brute by yourself?”</p><p>She rolled her eyes. “Do you really want me to answer that while I have a giant sword to my throat?”</p><p>“I should let him slit it. You’ve always hated me,” Tyrwil spat.</p><p>The woman enunciated slower this time. “<em>Be-cause you are slop-py</em>. He’s a bounty hunter, which means that Cheydinhal <em>knows</em>. You’ve drawn too much attention, too early. You think Lord Dagon is going to look kindly on this?”</p><p>‘Dagon? <em>Mehrunes</em> <em>Dagon</em>?!’ Kaidan’s sword left a stinging red line across the woman’s throat.</p><p>She hissed, “Watch it…” out of the side of her mouth.</p><p>“Maybe I should keep doing it and have more flies willingly walking into my web!” The cult leader slammed his dagger down into the chest of the corpse on the table, and the book floated off to his side as if to wait for them to finish arguing. Now that he had finally looked up at the two of them, his eyes moved upward at the very angry Outlander looking like he (or at least his father) had stepped out of an Oblivion gate. “Where in the Dark Lord’s realm did you find this one?!”</p><p>If this fool wasn’t holding a sword to her throat… “In the hallway. He also <em>killed Eliam</em> and managed to get past—”</p><p>Kaidan wasn’t here just to listen to these two bicker. He grabbed Rosalind by the scant back of her robes and threw her over the altar at Tyrwil, jumping over it and the corpse to close in on both of them. The rest of the room erupted into chaos, some scrambling to get out of the quickly growing lines of fire, and others rushing to defend their two most powerful (if not completely at odds) members. The mercenary ducked down behind the sacrificial altar and went for the leader first. Don’t end up on the table. Don’t let him use that dagger or book.</p><p>Tyrwil shoved Rosalind off of him; he would have used her as a shield if he didn’t need to move right that second. “<em>I’m</em> sloppy?! You led this bastard here!”</p><p>As soon as Rosalind scrambled out of the way between the statue’s feet, both cult leaders changed their flesh to iron. Kaidan growled; it wasn’t that mage armor was particularly difficult to get through (unless they could change their skin into ebony, but fuck fighting anyone who could do that), but it was a lot more annoying and slow-going if he couldn’t use his sword. And of course there wasn’t enough room to maneuver his nodachi in that little space between the statue and the altar. Instead, he grabbed his hunting dagger from his lower back and nearly brought it down into the High Elf’s throat. His hand was turned away at the last second by an invisible force pulling him up by the neck and into the increasing number of spells flying over their heads.</p><p>‘Bloody mages!’ Brynjar had taught Kaidan how to deal with some kinds of magic. Arcane ice, lightning, and fire were somewhat dulled by his armor, and he knew how to use his own will to override whatever sudden, abnormal thoughts of terror, rage, or calm might come over him. He wasn’t versed in magic that was strong enough to physically pick him up and move him.</p><p>He grabbed the edge of the table and forced himself back down with one hand while the other refused to let go of his dagger. If this asshole could lift him, the blade—Oh fuck, the other one!</p><p>The bounty hunter took a chance and let go of the table to quickly grab the sacrificial dagger still in the body on the table. But without the leverage to hold himself down, Tyrwil had the strength to throw him off of the dais and down the stairs.</p><p>‘Good, he took the dagger. But he’s still in trouble if he doesn’t kill this idiot within the next few minutes.’ Rosalind couldn’t be seen helping the Outlander, but maybe a subtle hint of sabotage and mind control would do the trick. She ducked a little further out of the way, then quickly and steadily, Rallied his innate powers. He certainly looked big and strong enough, but a little more speed wouldn’t hurt him, nor a bit of bloodlust. No one would see the hint of green smoke through all the regular mist, smoke, fire, and spell lights.</p><p>Kaidan rolled back to his feet at the bottom of the steps and gave a quick glance to his hunting dagger with the ritual blade in his dominant hand. Daggers were far from his favorite. But they were good for close quarters, and mages really didn’t like fighting up close. Instead of running back up the stairs, he darted around the front of the dais, dodging blasts of fire and ice. Whether it was luck or speed, he didn’t really care as he would feel the cold or heat brush past him but not actually do the damage it should have. If he hadn’t moved much, that cult leader should be about here…</p><p>He vaulted over the altar just as Tyrwil was backing down the other side of the dais to get proper space, and tackled him against the corner. They both heard the dull snap of something getting bent wrong, and the cultist’s howl of pain made the bounty hunter grin. Neither had time to stop though, as Tyrwil’s remaining hand erupted with frost, crystals, and needles in the attempt to slow Kaidan down. It gathered across his armor and made it stiff and brittle enough it was difficult to move, but the true pain was when it grasped around Kaidan's throat and started to freeze shut. He retaliated by breaking Tyrwil’s iron nose and stunning him; his clawed gauntlets helped make it hurt a hell of a lot more. That was enough to halt the spell and give him some air as he coughed up a cloud of cold mist and ice.</p><p>“Quickly! Repeat after me: Dagon! I cull the weak! I will have change! I will be something more!” Rosalind leaned between Dagon’s ankles and Commanded sweet heresy to the Outlander’s ear. It should have been in Daedric, but one wrong syllable and he’d be a pile of ashes on the floor. Not with that (sort of cute) accent. “Lord of Ambitions!”</p><p>‘Lord of Ambitions, eh?’ Kaidan chuckled under his breath, then roared at the statue. “<strong>Mehrunes Dagon! I cull this weakling! I will be your agent of change! O, Lord of Ambitions, <em>I</em> will be greater than <em>them</em>!</strong>”</p><p>‘Interesting!’ She thought and raised her eyebrows. “Let go of the blade!”</p><p>The blade in Kaidan’s hand twisted around in his grip, itching to get free. He just hoped it wouldn’t turn on him, instead. As soon as he let go, the Daedric dagger acted just as it had a few minutes ago, ignoring Tyrwil’s armored flesh and plunging deep into his chest. The man gasped and cursed Rosalind for her betrayal before going still. The book on the altar turned towards the three of them, opened on its own, and accepted Kaidan’s offering. As he attempted to read the open pages, the ink squirmed and spun on the paper in what he now recognized as Daedric. Still couldn’t read it, though, and now there was a similar unsettling squirming moving down the back of his neck.</p><p>“<strong>INTERESTING, INDEED.</strong>” A deep, booming, gravelly voice echoed high above the altar.</p><p>Kaidan’s eyes were wide and now burned with bright red flames as he looked down at the dead cult leader, then up at the statue. He wasn’t supposed to be able to cast magic. He got to his feet and turned to the statue of Mehrunes Dagon. The rest of the congregation below had stopped dead.</p><p>“Lord Dagon.” Rosalind turned her eyes to the floor instead.</p><p>“<strong>YOU SAW A COMPLETELY UNKNOWN OPPORTUNITY, AND YOU MADE IT YOURS WITHOUT HESITATION. GOOD. I WILL BE WATCHING.</strong>” And that was all He said.</p><p>Neither of them realized which one He was talking about.</p><p>“Well. Seems you’ve made a good first impression.” Rosalind smiled and patted his cheek. “What’s your name, Outlander?”</p><p>He narrowed his still blazing eyes and muttered, “Kaidan.”</p><p>“Well, Kaidan, I am Rosalind. High Priestess of the Blooded Dawn. You can take this miserable husk and go get whatever pittance they were paying you to throw your life away, then you can come back here and your true path can begin.” She passed him the corpse of Tyrwil by the collar of his robes.</p><p>The bounty hunter brought his sword back out and grinned at her. “Just need the head.” And he removed it with a quick, clean slice, just missing Rosalind’s fingers. He took Tyrwil by the hair and stormed off, his eyes a warning for anyone else in the room looking to try something. Dark wisps of smoke wove around him and escorted him out.</p><p>‘This is going to be fun.’ The high priestess crossed her arms and twirled a few of the wisps around her finger. ‘Let’s see how long this one lasts.’</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>(1) a pun: dovah - dragon, vahdin - woman ; dragon-woman.</p><p>Warning: Chapters 9 and 10 will be posted together on March 20, 2021. Chapter 9 is longer than usual and will be marked as EXPLICIT. Story content warnings will be out in force and extra ones will be in the header notes. It will also be self-contained as a short story, allowing you to skip it and go on to 10 if necessary. The Blooded Dawn are an extra spicy bunch, including Kaidan, and double for Rosalind and her 'pet'. It’s gonna be *dark*.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Chapter 9</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>And when the truth finally dawns… it dawns in fire.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Content Warning: Please, please, PLEASE be mindful of the tags and warnings. I really mean it, this one is full on Explicit Horror/Gore. Feel free to skip to the next chapter if need be, as this one is self-contained. Blood, Gore, Intense Graphic Violence, Child Abuse and Death, Animal Abuse and Death, Dismemberment, Beheading, Death by Fire, Heavy Torture, Gaslighting and Mind Control, Humiliation, Rosalind… the Blooded Dawn has less than no chill.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>(<em>Six years later.</em>)</p><p>The Warlord of the Blooded Dawn held a farmer up by the throat and grit his teeth at all the little pops and snaps whenever he shifted his talons. The man’s wife lay at their feet with blood still pooling; she’d come at him with a shovel, and had made his ears ring and head ache for a few seconds when it collided with the back of his helm. Her head sat on the table, staring through them.</p><p>“Where is the blade shard?” Kaidan growled.</p><p>Rosalind said that Mehrunes Razor had been shattered shortly after the Oblivion Crisis ended and the pieces were taken into hiding across Tamriel. Of course, piddling little gestures like that didn't matter to Daedric Princes and Lord Dagon was working with her to find the pieces.</p><p>She frequently complained about field work though, and so here was Kaidan, on a farmstead all the way down by Leyawiin, asking this <em>nobody</em> about something a distant relative had done almost two hundred years ago. This would go well. The whole chaotic affair growing out of his control already had his eyes burning unnaturally bright through his Daedric helm. As soon as the Blooded Dawn had arrived, everyone under his leadership scattered like rowdy, murderous children, leaving him to do the dirty work. The screams outside were making it hard to concentrate.</p><p>“I have no idea what you're talking about!” The man choked out.</p><p>The little farmhouse was stifling from the fire headed towards it. That was draining his patience even more. They weren’t supposed to set the bloody fire until <em>after</em> they were done. He swung his sword in one smooth and incredibly dangerous motion clean through the man’s hand clinging to his wrist. The man’s screaming only made him roll his eyes. “Try. Again.”</p><p>“What blade?!” He sobbed.</p><p>“The blade your ancestors hid here. It’s around here somewhere. And you still have plenty of limbs for me to chop off,” Kaidan said.</p><p>“No, please! We’re just farmers! All my family’s ever been for generations! You can have anything you want, but we don’t have any weapons!” he screamed through his shaking.</p><p>“Generous. But wrong.” There was a loud snap at the man’s remaining hand, eliciting another scream. “This isn’t working. …Dumont!”</p><p>There was a crash just above them and a werewolf behemoth tumbled down the stairs, awkwardly trying to maneuver inside of a house that was much too small for him. He bristled his blond fur all matted with blood and showed Kaidan a toothy grin. Speaking was difficult for Dumont in that form (not that it was any good in his human form) and he sounded like a rabid dog, but he tried, anyway. “Kkaaadnnn!”</p><p><em>Dumont</em>. There was a disgusting, vile, and twisted Breton motherfucker in there somewhere who was always a slight breeze away from going completely feral and tearing everyone apart. He’d already done it a few times; Kaidan couldn’t figure why Rosalind wanted to keep a “pet” that almost murdered her. He wasn’t sure which of Dumont's forms was worse, though it was probably the werewolf; at least the human always went down with a thorough beating to shut him up for a few days. But Dumont was useful in sensing things the rest of them couldn’t, like hearing lies, smelling Daedric corruption, or seeing trouble coming a mile away (and happily running into it). “Did you find anything? Or did you forget because your brain’s rotten?”</p><p>“Nnno. Bett’rrrrr!” Dumont made a loud, barking laugh and held up a young girl in his giant clawed hand. She was battered unconscious and bleeding all over.</p><p>Kaidan cursed under his breath and stepped aside to let the farmer see. “Do you remember <em>now</em>?”</p><p>He looked up from his ruined hands and groveled in terror. “Please! We don’t have anything! Don’t! Please gods, leave her alone…” He was bleeding out fast.</p><p>Something twitched and hurt badly in the back of Kaidan’s head and the pit of his stomach. Rosalind was having more and more trouble getting anything right, recently. “Bah. Drop her. Grab everything else and let’s go.”</p><p>Dumont chuckled deep in the back of his throat and refused to let go of the girl. “NO.”</p><p>“I <em>said</em> drop her. The shard isn’t here. We’re <em>leaving</em>.”</p><p>Instead, he licked his lips and tried to fit through the door.</p><p>“At least change back first, you depraved piece of shite—” Kaidan immediately realized what he’d said. One. He knew what Dumont was going to do, because this wasn’t the first time it had happened. Two. ‘If you’re going to do the worst fucking act imaginable, then at least don’t make it inconceivably grotesque.’ Three. ‘Because I can’t stop you.’</p><p>The giant beast somehow managed to roll his big, blue eyes in a still human way and took a large bite out of the girl’s shoulder and throat as if to confirm that ‘no, you can’t stop me.’ The child thrashed once with a small shriek and went limp. The two monsters ignored the dying man’s cries for his daughter.</p><p>“Hhhhas RRR-rrrossszzz beenn hhholding out on youuu, prrrr’tty fffk t-toyyy?” He laughed and tossed the child’s corpse on the ground like a broken doll.</p><p>When Kaidan’s Daedric armor started rattling loudly and uncontrollably, Dumont’s face lit up with glee at seeing the bright, beautiful, bloodlust in the Outlander’s eyes. Whenever he managed to rile this pathetic little bitch into a challenge, it always ended badly for both of them, even in his primal state. But he’d also been feeding ever since they’d arrived at the farm, while this half-Daedric <em>thing</em> was starting to get sluggish, for some reason or another. Maybe this time he could finally take the pack and the priestess for his own.</p><p>Kaidan completely forgot that he was trapped in a house burning down and rushed the behemoth, punching through the beast’s jaw and ripping a gash across his shoulder. Dumont punched back and howled with laughter. Finally! He grabbed Kaidan by the arm and collar and whipped him around and out of the front door, smashing the last of the door frame to get himself outside.</p><p>The rest of the Blooded Dawn heard Dumont’s hunting call and groaned. Their lord had been acting strange for weeks, as well as the high priestess. She was becoming driven and reclusive, and he was constantly distracted and turning on anyone who crossed his path. She’d even steered them wrong trying to get the Master’s relic.</p><p>And now that damned beast who shouldn’t have even been with them to begin with had baited him into yet <em>another</em> fight while everything around them went up in flames. And then they’d have to carry their battered bodies back to be healed (and beaten and healed again) by Rosalind. Or maybe one of them would finally kill the other after months of this horseshit.</p><p>Kaidan tumbled down the front steps and had to keep rolling before Dumont stomped him. He rolled to his feet and into a defensive stance. “Dumont, you stupid dogshite! We don’t have time for this!”</p><p>The giant wolf’s foot smashed through the wooden stairs and pulled the bottom step apart by a bloody ankle. “Daeddrrra’s boyyyy! HAHAHHAH!!!”</p><p>It wasn’t so much the ridiculous insults that started as soon as Dumont smashed his way in through the front door a few months ago, looking to cause utter chaos. It was that Dumont didn’t even care about Mehrunes Dagon or anyone else (barely even himself); he just wanted to fuck everything up for everyone else.</p><p>And he absolutely was. He was exposing all the rot, the misery, the destruction that Kaidan had done to himself and everyone around him. What in Oblivion was all this?! He fucking <em>knew better</em>! These poor people hadn’t done anything! Rosalind had sent them to destroy dozens of lives for absolutely no reason! And these people he thought he belonged with, thought was his family, loved every minute of it. This wasn’t what he wanted. That little girl didn’t deserve this. But at least he’d angered Dumont enough to kill her before he could do worse, or she saw all of <em>this</em>. His stomach churned but he forced it back down before he was torn apart.</p><p>He rushed the werewolf and dodged under the wide swings of his giant claws, nearly managing to gut him but was kicked away before the nodachi could angle into something vital. He stumbled backward, clutching the deep puncture in his Daedric armor in the same spot where he’d just hurt Dumont.</p><p>“Lord Kaidan! Just leave him!” Iessa came and shoved him towards the horses. The Imperial woman didn’t care much for either of them, but at least Kaidan’s head still had a shred of sense left in it. At least until that rabid wolf was involved. “We’ve got everything loaded!”</p><p>“Tiiime t’ goorrrr!” Dumont cackled. It sounded like a wolf’s bad imitation of the human woman. “Orrr d’ youuu w-wwwant t’ staaay ’nd mourrrn?”</p><p>It wasn’t worth responding to this shit, anymore. It was too hot, it was hard to breathe, the smoke had to have attracted the Leyawiin guard and they would be there soon, and there was nothing left here but fire, death, and <em>Dumont</em>. Kaidan flashed a rude gesture, then joined Iessa and the rest.</p><p>Dumont bared his teeth. “Dnnnn’t trrrn y’rrr baaackkk ’n m-meee!”</p><p>Kaidan was already on his horse and riding away.</p><p>No! He wasn’t allowed to leave, this time! And his body was giving out… Dumont bounded on all fours after the galloping horse, spooking it and bucking Kaidan to the ground. The werewolf grabbed the horse’s throat and crushed it in his jaws.</p><p>“Kiai!” Kaidan shouted. He narrowly missed being crushed as Dumont tried to shove Kaidan's own horse on top of him. “You <em>fucker</em>!”</p><p>“Dumont! Let it go! For fuck’s sake!” Iessa shot him with a poisoned arrow to slow him down and hopefully drain him the rest of the way back to “human” again. It didn’t work. Shit, it probably made him even angrier. She wasn’t going to stick around for this one and possibly lose her own horse and life. She rode off as fast as her horse could take her.</p><p>“NO!” Dumont pounced on Kaidan while he was still prone and tried to crush his skull with one hand. He was so driven at that point, he didn’t notice the points and edges of the Daedric helm were slicing up his fingers. “Diiiiie!”</p><p>Kaidan heard and felt the metal crumpling, took his runed nodachi and twisted it upward to wedge it into the werewolf’s armpit and take it off at the shoulder. It thumped into the dirt beside them and Dumont screamed something neither human nor beast. Kaidan kicked the monster off and scrambled away, dizzy from the pain prodding deep into his forehead.</p><p>‘It’s only going to get worse if you let him live!’ All of Kaidan's senses were screaming at him. It should have been a hell of a lot easier than killing all those strangers back there. “You deserve worse!”</p><p>Dumont clutched his shoulder as he tried to get up, but was still lost in his frenzy and stumbling towards Kaidan, growling incoherently and foaming at the mouth. They both knew the second he changed back, he’d bleed out, but Kaidan decided that wasn’t good or soon enough, and thrust his nodachi up through the bottom of Dumont’s muzzle through the top of his head, twisting it until the bastard finally went down. He didn’t even feel any relief. Watching people suffer used to be <em>fun</em>. Or was it ever…? …What had actually happened?!</p><p>A floodgate of memories opened up and Kaidan had to struggle to get his badly dented helmet off as if it were suffocating him. He looked around in panic, but everyone had already disappeared through the smoke and fire. He sheathed his sword again and stumbled off into the forest instead of following the rest of the clan.</p><p>*</p><p>“I can’t do this anymore.” Kaidan paced around his chamber like a caged beast.</p><p>After they had all abandoned that farm in fire and blood, he went away from all of them and was sick. Somehow that made everything clearer, but still too much like waking up in the middle of the night screaming. There was no reason, no justification, no honor in what they had done. Just petty destruction and raw, deviant, unmitigated evil. Eventually rejoining them days later felt more like a death sentence. Rosalind came in to find him all bandaged up and muttering to himself, and immediately knew something had gone wrong during what should have been the simplest job in months.</p><p>“Do what, Kai?” Rosalind asked. She knew that he was still livid about herding a bunch of bloodthirsty cats, but she sure wasn’t going to do it, anymore.</p><p>“They didn’t have the blade shard. There was no reason for us to be there, so we should have left. Instead, everyone decided to… gods damn it…” He rubbed his face.</p><p>“Take their frustrations out on whoever was available? Yes, that tends to happen,” she said.</p><p>“Dumont—”</p><p>“Is a freak. I know.” She bit her lip and stifled a laugh. “Honestly, closer to Molag’s kin. Definitely not Hircine’s. But he worships our Lord’s destructive side, not the ambitious side. Now you know why I don’t go with them, I simply tell you lot where to go.”</p><p>He was going to say ‘is dead’, but he realized what she’d said. “Then why did you send us to that farm?”</p><p>“Everyone needed to let off some steam, and I wanted a day off.” Rosalind finally met him with a slight grin and a shrug.</p><p>Kaidan saw her expression and closed his eyes. Her devotion to Dagon was real. And he was devoted to her. He couldn’t leave her here. He had to try…</p><p>“What if… there was something better? For us, I mean.”</p><p>She tilted her head. “Like?”</p><p>“<em>Anything</em> else. Not <em>this</em>. Not disguising petty banditry and wanton murder as trying to appeal to a Daedric Prince who only cares about using us toward pointless violence.” He grit his teeth. “Before we wind up like Tyrwil.”</p><p>She’d long forgotten about that failure. Rosalind looked up into Kaidan’s pleading eyes. She’d learned to read his mood from the light emanating from them and right now they were weak and dying. …Fear. After all of the work she’d done over the past few years, he just wanted to throw it all away because of a squeamish episode? And he was serious. He couldn't have…</p><p>“And how do you plan to break the news to everyone? To our Lord? Not that you really need to.” She was sort of curious…</p><p>“They’re too far gone. Like Dumont.”</p><p>She didn't look at him. “And I’m not?”</p><p>“We can do better. Far from here. I’m from Skyrim. Maybe there.” He was up and pacing again. “But I can’t stay here.”</p><p>“You’re not thinking straight, my love.” She went over and stopped him by grabbing his wrist. “Sleep on it. It will just be a bad dream in the morning, and then you can think on the scriptures to remind yourself of what you pledged to your Master. The path forward is painful. You <em>know</em> this. But right now, you’re showing <em>weakness</em>.”</p><p>He took a breath and looked deep into her eyes. “If the path forward is pain, then I guess I’ll just have to be the one to cause it. I have to put a stop to this.”</p><p>Her eyes stayed blank, but she balled her fist where he couldn’t see.</p><p>“I’m <em>done</em>, Rosz. And I don’t want to leave you here to rot with these monsters. I know you’re better than this. More powerful than that. Which is why I need you. Please, Rosalind. Help me.”</p><p>The high priestess closed her eyes and took a deep breath, walking around him. “Just <em>think</em> a moment, dear. It’s like a passing dream. Everyone gets them. A pang of regret. A moment where you forget what it was like before The Liberation. Change is slow. Gradual. Waiting.” As she pulled him down for a kiss, her fingers combed through his hair and an instant crack of lightning into the back of his head dropped him to the ground. “Then it hits you.”</p><p>*</p><p>On waking up, Kaidan couldn’t decide which was more painful: the lightning, the cold, hard floor, or Rosalind’s betrayal. Oh gods, no. Rosalind…! When he tried to rub the pain out of his neck, his hands jerked back down with a metal clank. He was chained down. So Rosalind was going to torture him, first. She rarely bothered doing that herself; she liked watching him do it. …Oh. Wait, why was he chained face down? He recognized the blood channels too close to his face and out of focus. And on the main altar?!</p><p>“Ros…zza…” he groaned.</p><p>“Ah, you’re awake.” Rosalind leaned over so he could see her. “I was sort of hoping I could get this done without you trying to whine and plead your way out of it. Though you probably would have woken up the second I started.”</p><p>Or maybe not? He tried to will his heart back into his chest. “What are you doing?”</p><p>She flicked a small, hooked blade with a rune-engraved handle, dripping with something glittering blood red into his field of view. He went pale. “You said you needed my help. So, I will help you see reason. And if you still don’t, I’m sure your new tattoo will be much more convincing. It’ll even complement the one on your face!”</p><p>‘A tattoo? What in Oblivion has she been working on?’ Kaidan knew if he didn’t get out of this somehow within the next few minutes, he was probably going to be begging her to kill him. When she wasn’t working on finding the razor pieces, she was literally playing with fire. He wasn’t sure what that would mean if not him winding up as a pile of ashes.</p><p>The High Priestess started speaking upward to Mehrunes Dagon’s statue while the rest of their clan below whispered a mix of scared confusion and betrayed anger. They knew something was wrong when she loudly and angrily ordered everyone into the cathedral, but refused to explain what was going on. But to find Lord Kaidan knocked out and chained down on the altar! A few of them prayed she wasn’t about to do something <em>weird</em>, like with the damn werewolf. They all saw how well that turned out. But she couldn’t possibly be <em>this</em> angry about Kaidan killing him? A few hinted that she was finally ready to take over. As if she wasn't already in charge. More like she’d finally gotten bored of him. He lasted a <em>lot</em> longer than Tyrwil, though.</p><p>Her voice echoed around the cathedral. “Do you see this, Lord Dagon? I beg forgiveness, as I have not been diligent in keeping your will as law. The seed of doubt grows in his heart. And I see it in your eyes!” she shouted as she turned towards her congregation.</p><p>‘Okay, Rosz…’ Kaidan rolled his eyes. ‘But keep talking while I figure this out.’</p><p>He quietly tested the bonds. Heavy iron chains everywhere that kept him from moving an inch. Shit. Where’d the ropes go? She probably had the key, but he couldn’t reach her unless she did something stupid.</p><p>Rosalind took his chin in her hand to pull him into looking at her while talking to the rest of them. “And I’m guessing that your cooperative silence and Dumont’s absence means you killed him. I <em>liked</em> Dumont. <em>Why</em>?”</p><p>‘Of course you did.’ He couldn’t even look at her. “I’m only sad I couldn’t stay longer to watch his corpse burn.”</p><p>There were a few murmurs of amusement close by.</p><p>She ran her hand down her face. “You <em>bastard</em>. Was it because he kept challenging you?”</p><p>His stomach started churning again even though there was nothing in it, so he distracted himself with anger. “He shredded a child like a fucking chew toy and was about to do worse.”</p><p>“And then you told him not to. So he challenged you. Whatever. He was a little too hard to control, anyway. Not like <em>you</em>, dear. Up until now. It’s what I get for trying to control two idiots at once, really. But I still love you, Kaidan, which is why I’m not going to simply kill you for your treachery.” She kissed his forehead.</p><p>Kaidan knew full well that Rosalind was a scheming bitch; he pegged her as one the moment he’d met her. He thought he could stay one step ahead of her. But love makes you stupid.</p><p>“What happened to your ambition, Kaidan? I swear to Lord Dagon Himself, if it’s something as simple and pathetic as you finding your conscience, I’ll make it extra <em>painful</em>. I’ve been watching you slowly get your head back for the past few months and couldn’t figure out how you were getting out of my influence. And this final bit was likely all Dumont’s fault, damn him, too. Ugh, at least Tyrwil was dedicated to the bitter end, even if he was <em>over</em>zealous and incompetent.” She sat on the corner of the altar and started rambling.</p><p>A glint of metal stuck out from one of the folds of her robes. That simplified things a great deal. Sort of. Even if he did get the key, he wouldn’t be able to unlock all of the bonds before she put another lightning bolt through his brain. Hopefully, there’d be someone who’d help, somehow. That was the point of this whole damn thing for the past few years. But if they weren’t speaking up for him now…</p><p>Trying to keep the chains quiet, he prayed the little swiping motion was obscured from everyone else and slipped the key between his wrist and the manacle.</p><p>“And of course, being utterly useless at magic, you’ve tuned everything out. Oh well, doesn’t matter. Not like you need to know what’s going on or would understand the process.” Rosalind shook her head and cast a heavy aetheric shield on him, then forced him to drink a foul tasting fire potion. It couldn’t possibly mitigate everything, but at least he wouldn’t burn up before she finished the ritual. She whispered sweetly in his ear, “Sorry about the metal, dear. But ropes would have burned instantly, and <em>you always break out of them, anyway</em>.”</p><p>While he was fuming and gagging, she summoned a powerful primal atronach: very loose in humanoid form, unarmored, and was made less of lava and more of pure, bright white flame. Incredibly rare and far harder to control than the smaller armored creatures that most mages summoned. Kaidan gasped in pain and tried to pull away as being that close to the heat was unbearable, even with the fire resistance.</p><p>The chains started to change color slightly before the high priestess pulled it back, and she set it into a containment ward to make sure it couldn’t escape while she was working. Whatever that was for, he didn’t want to know. Time to go. He turned the key over in his palm and into the lock, but before the manacle clicked open, the key warped and melted. “Really?!” He put his head down and groaned.</p><p>“I know, but if this works, we’ll have solved so many problems, dear. Your inability to use magic, your wanting to leave, your <em>mortality</em>, any remaining weakness like that nagging bit in your head that <em>cares</em> about people, my loosening grip of control over you, Mehrunes Dagon’s loosening grip of control over you… everyone wins!” She gave him a smug grin and picked up a bowl of that glittering red.</p><p>IF?! “ONE OF YOU STOP HER—” Kaidan shouted but cut himself off as searing heat started digging deep into his back and spread throughout his body. His screams didn’t seem to phase anyone watching (and why would it? they did this kind of shit all the time), let alone into any kind of action against their beloved priestess. They instead bowed in prayer.</p><p>He’d remember that the second he got loose.</p><p>“<em>Lord Dagon! As he has been faithful, I ask you to forgive him in his sacrifice of mind, body, and soul! He dedicates himself to you, but must be cleansed with your blood and flame!</em>” Rosalind incanted in Daedric while drawing the fire salt dipped blade through the flesh of Kaidan's back. Her other hand gathered the atronach’s fire like she was spinning thread, and stitched it into the incisions with the hook. The chains rattling and straining as he struggled was cutting into her concentration and the droning prayers weren’t enough.</p><p>“If you don't stop struggling, I'm going to make a mistake somewhere and then you’ll be really upset. Or turned to ash. Gods, Kaidan, it's only a tattoo; you’ve got one on your face.” She kept working without stopping or looking up.</p><p>“<strong>Y’</strong>… <strong>fuckin’</strong>… <em><strong>cunt</strong></em><strong>!</strong>” he howled. On top of the pain making it hard to breathe and think, everything was already starting to distort and melt…</p><p>She paused, blinked at him, then smacked him hard in the back of the head so his forehead banged against the altar.</p><p>The more progress Rosalind made on the runes, the less the atronach could hold together and it nearly bashed itself apart on the wall of the containment ward. At the same time, Kaidan’s screaming tapered off into panting and growling; whether it was because he’d completely destroyed his voice, shock had him, or the ritual was starting to take control of his mind, Rosalind was only relieved that he’d finally shut up. All the new curses he’d come up with for her were starting to grate. “You’d better still be alive,” she sighed.</p><p>He hissed something especially vicious in Daedric. While she knew that he understood the language, he never spoke it unless he was reading something aloud. Even then, it had his accent all over it, so it was often wrong. This was perfect. Good, because she was tired.</p><p>She gave him a pat on the arse for finally cooperating, but didn’t notice that the manacles at his wrists were starting to glow and smoke. “What was that, dear?”</p><p>“<strong>I’m going to kill you, Rosalind.</strong>” The atronach and Kaidan said together, then switched to Daedric. “<em><strong>This entire mountain is going to go up in flames.</strong></em>”</p><p>She looked back and forth between the two of them and frowned. “The wards will prevent that.”</p><p>“<strong>Has she finished it, yet?</strong>” they asked.</p><p>The atronach looked over her shoulder and they both scowled at her. “<em><strong>No.</strong></em>”</p><p>Rosalind’s eyes went wide and before she could curse, the chains holding Kaidan down flashed and stretched until they snapped. The atronach’s original form returned to full size and lunged at her, but bounced off of the containment ward. Kaidan wasn’t bound by it. He tackled and pushed her into the ward, breaking it. She screamed in well deserved pain as his chains charred her shoulders and arms, and his glowing hands left smoking bruises on her throat.</p><p>“<strong>All y’had t' do was stop being a bloody <em>bitch</em> for five fuckin’ minutes and come with us, Rosz!</strong>” they rasped. The atronach laughed from somewhere below them. “<em><strong>I hope this is worth burning forever in the Deadlands, mortals!</strong></em>”</p><p>Chaos erupted below them and the atronach was happy to make good on their promise. The entire cathedral started rattling and the various fires lighting the room exploded. Hanging braziers crashed to the ground and fireballs leapt out, catching anyone who couldn’t move fast enough (which was everyone as they were completely drained by Rosalind’s ritual), and the floor braziers shot columns of white fire to the ceiling. Kaidan’s atronach chased everyone they laid eyes on and turned them into charred husks. Fuckers could have prevented this disaster, but it was more <em>fun to watch</em>.</p><p>'Why hasn’t Lord Dagon seized control of him?!' Rosalind should have done enough of the runes that even if she couldn’t, He would have been able to! Kaidan had that bright, beautiful, murderous spark back in his eyes, but it was all wrong. It was all panic.</p><p>“<strong>CHANGE ME BACK!</strong>” they screamed and Kaidan shook her until she was dizzy. “<em><strong>NOW!</strong></em>”</p><p>‘PLEASE! DIVINES! HELP ME!’ All of Kaidan’s senses were consumed by fire. His tongue and throat were dry, choking ashes, his eyes were blinded by heat distortion, everything sounded like screaming, hissing, and crackling, the smell of scorched death was beyond nauseating, and there was nothing but searing pain all over since the first incision. His new <em>soul</em> running loose outside of his body had even taken over most of his thoughts, which were all set to ‘drown the world in flames’. He knew he didn’t deserve to beg anyone for help after everything he'd done, but nothing could possibly be worse than <em>this</em>.</p><p>“Perma...nent,” Rosalind groaned. “Soul…bind Ward.”</p><p>They both turned back to her. “<em><strong>DESTROY THE WARD. FREE ME.</strong></em>”</p><p>Kaidan tightened his hands around her throat until she was gagging. Everyone was too preoccupied to notice that the room was shaking along to his voice. “<strong>THEN.</strong> <strong>REMOVE. THE. WARD!</strong>”</p><p>‘No!’ The high priestess’s skin flashed into ebony and she kneed him in the groin. Sometimes Kaidan really knew how to spoil a good time. He was stunned for just long enough that she could try and regain control over them. Unruly atronachs could sometimes be subdued by banishment. Maybe if she removed the more powerful half of them, it would weaken him considerably. She dove down the stairs of the dais and took off running, jumping over the burnt bodies and dodging their fireballs.</p><p>Rosalind was really starting to regret this experiment, now. Unwilling test subjects weren’t a problem; she used them all the time. She’d absorbed enough magicka from everyone else to do the ritual. She didn’t make any mistakes with the circle, but she wasn’t allowed to finish it, either. Kaidan was mortal and human enough, but whatever Outlanders were had no innate magicka at all, and instead had a nigh inhuman amount of physical strength and stamina similar to Redguards and Orcs. The atronach she chose was a higher Daedra that was completely made of magicka and Daedric fire. That sort of power imbalance should have worked perfectly so the atronach filled in everything he lacked magically, while he gave the atronach a permanent, physical, and incredibly hard to kill anchor to Nirn. She couldn’t lose everything over this one… what in Oblivion had she created, anyway?</p><p>She did a quick heel-turn and set a storm thrall between her and Kaidan, then continued after his atronach. “Grab him! Don’t kill him!”</p><p>He had almost caught up to her but ran face first into the storm atronach. It rumbled with thunder, took a swipe at him, and missed entirely, but Kaidan’s skin still prickled through all the fire. He had nothing to fight with but his own atronach who couldn’t attack the actual problem, and no armor. Trying to use his new power was worthless; the loose, crude fire he created did almost nothing to the crackling lightning holding it together.</p><p>Rosalind still had her ceremonial dagger and instead of using it on Kaidan, she enchanted it with a spell of banishment and stabbed the fire atronach’s heart, burning up her hands. Kaidan stopped short and clutched his chest as the atronach fizzled out into the ward on his back. He was wrong; he could still feel worse and collapsed at Rosalind's feet, where the storm atronach quickly snatched him up into a bear hug. The jumble of rocks squeezed him a little too hard and scraped up the ward, making him scream and sparks leap from it.</p><p>“How dare you refuse my and Lord Dagon’s gifts! You’ve single-handedly ruined the Blooded Dawn! Killed your own family!” she screamed at him. “I thought you <em>loved</em> me!”</p><p>Kaidan tried to turn his head to see if she was serious, but it turned out it didn’t matter as everything was going dark. Finally. “F’k you, Rosa…lind. Thisss… s’all y’r fault… <em>Y'</em> did th's,” he wheezed.</p><p>The disgraced priestess walked around to the soulbinding ward and had her atronach hoist Kaidan up by his throat. He clutched weakly at the rocks crushing his throat and struggled to breathe, meanwhile Rosalind was more irritated that he’d stopped paying attention to her, again. “All the <em>work</em> I’ve done… you <em>wretched—</em>!” She shook with rage until it had all moved down into her charred hands.</p><p>She slashed the dagger across his back with lines of fire, blades of ice, and snaps of lightning to destroy her canvas. “Weak, pathetic <em>fuck</em>! You don’t deserve this!”</p><p>Kaidan couldn’t even struggle against the storm atronach anymore and tried to find his fire atronach before Rosalind killed them both. ‘If you don’t want to be bound here to a corpse, get out here… and… ki… h—’</p><p>Rosalind was so frustrated, she forgot that the soul binding she’d created on his back was still a <em>fire ward</em> that <em>Mehrunes Dagon</em> had shown her how to make. And as the last threads were cut, the world went white, the atronach escaped, and the rest of the mountain went up in flames.</p><p>*</p><p>Kaidan couldn’t figure out how he’d managed to live, and at that point, he wasn’t at all grateful. He wasn’t sure how long it had been since he’d passed out, but everything was completely charred to nothingness when he woke up. He clutched his chest and coughed from the thick smoke, then looked around at all of the destruction. The <em>one</em> time he was able to use magic… whatever had happened. Fuck, he could barely even think straight ever since the farm. No sleep… the farm replaying endlessly in his head… everyone turned on him in an instant… the fire… Rosalind—</p><p>‘Oh gods, where is she?!’ he thought and shook badly as he leaned on the wall to try and get back on his feet. He wasn’t sure if it was a good or bad sign that she hadn’t simply finished him off. Both she and her atronach were gone. He couldn’t feel his fire atronach invading his thoughts or burning him up from the inside anymore, either. Something obviously still felt wrong, but at that point, he wouldn't be surprised if it never did again. Did she sever them? Did it manage to escape while he was unconscious? The pain in his back was still overshadowing every other thought except…</p><p>
  <em>Think later. Escape now.</em>
</p><p>Kaidan had never seen Rosalind that angry (or anyone else, for that matter). Of course, in ten minutes he’d caused more destruction than everyone else in the clan put together and undid who knows how many <em>years</em> of her plotting. And Dagon probably wasn’t going to look at her very kindly after this. Again, he wondered how <em>he</em> hadn’t been struck down. He could see the giant statue still standing through the rising smoke. The entire front had been scorched black and slightly warped.</p><p>
  <em>Get. Out. Now. Before she comes back and finds you.</em>
</p><p>He carefully made his way back to his room. He couldn’t leave without his sword and armor, even if he couldn’t use them anymore; Brynjar said that his mother wanted him to have them when he was old enough. They were the only things in this world he was sure were his. If they hadn't completely melted. He was relieved that the fire couldn’t touch them. What on Nirn were they enchanted for?!</p><p>An ounce of mercy, and it felt like too much.</p><p>On stumbling out into the hot, dusty night, he looked up and saw the endless smoke plume letting the whole of godsdamned Jerall know what had happened. It wasn’t dust; it was raining ash.</p><p>“What have I done…?” It was barely a hoarse whisper as he shook and collapsed.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Chapter 10</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Confess your sins.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kaidan finally came back to himself and wondered how much time had passed. He thought he’d laid down in the grass only a few minutes ago, but when he finally opened his eyes, the sky was dark grey and he was shivering cold except for where his head was resting across Starfall’s lap.</p><p>“Starfall? I… I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have… kept that from you,” he whispered and burned blush in his own shame. To be so weak and pathetic after being that unspeakably evil and cruel for so long…</p><p>“Oh dear gods…” She sounded so tired…</p><p>He winced and tried to get up, but she stopped him and held him down by the shoulder. Her fingernails were digging in and starting to hurt.</p><p>Tired became frightened. “Don’t…”</p><p>“What’s wrong?” Panic was still worming around deep in his chest.</p><p>Starfall was starting to shake underneath him and it was even worse in her voice. “You lied…”</p><p>Refusing to listen, he put his hand down to push into sitting up and jerked back when his palm and fingers came back bloody. Whenever Starfall became particularly upset, any water around tended to freeze. It was <em>usually</em> harmless, if not a bit disconcerting, and only lasted a few minutes. The Archmage had a fancy mage word for it, and Ancano was able to counteract it. Kaidan didn’t have anything that could protect him from the encroaching ice that trapped them by the pond. His sword had already been buried underneath the frozen blades of grass. He drew his feet up close to himself and looked into the clouds in fear; they were starting to swirl and gather directly overhead. “Starfall, please…”</p><p>She had her arms covering her head so he couldn’t see her face. “You <em>lied</em>…” was all she breathed.</p><p>Kaidan couldn’t tell if she was angry at him, or afraid of him, or about to kill him. He knew he deserved all three. He tried reaching for her, only for a rime of frost to gather on his hand and made him snatch it back again. “I know I was pure evil. It was like a nightmare I couldn’t wake up from. And I don’t know if I could ever earn any kind of forgiveness. Or if I even deserve the chance. But I’m a different man, now! I’m trying to be. I didn’t want any of that to ruin what I’ve got now. …With you. It hurts to even think about it. I’m so sorry, Starfall.”</p><p>The frost was starting to gather on her now, but she didn’t flinch or even notice it. “Gods, how have I not gotten your sword through my back?! No wonder you hate magic! Everything I do reminds, scares, or hurts you. Winterhold. The Princes. Your mark. You trying to get me to stop letting my anger, Hunger, and Power control everything… Fuck, no wonder you're afraid of <em>me</em>!”</p><p>He winced. “I… You saved me. Ten times over. Sometimes you hit a nerve by accident, yeah, but I was more afraid of… this. Your anger at finding out I’m a hypocrite and a right demon bastard. Scaring <em>you</em> off. Losing everything all over again. Not having the chance to fix any of it.” The ice all around went nicely with the lump of cold panic starting to swell in his throat.</p><p>It took a very long time for Starfall to believe it enough that the ice-burned grass thawed and wilted. Even though she’d stopped fidgeting and was rubbing her eyes, the clouds stayed. Kaidan felt her hand near his and couldn’t help but flinch away from it, making her take it back.</p><p>“…Can I…?” she asked softly. “I swear I’m alright now. I got ‘lost’ and saw… <em>felt</em>… all of the things you said. That ugliness in you and Rosalind and… everything that makes people afraid of me. What the Hunger and Power feed off of. What I have to fight every time something goes wrong. What makes the real monsters come to <em>me</em>. And it made me so scared and angry at y—… <em>For</em> you.”</p><p>It took him a small while to answer; he gave her a small nod and held his hand back out.</p><p>“I’m sorry all of that happened to you. I’m sorry she did that to you. For a person you loved and thought you could trust… to turn on you like that. Take away your mind… sell your body… burn up your <em>soul</em>…” She took his bloody hand in hers and wrapped it in healing light; it was only dim and warm instead of her bright fire. “I’m grateful that you survived. That you found your way, decided to be a better person, and you’re trying to repent for what happened. And you've been so patient; so much more than I deserve, especially when it had to feel like you should have tried to escape from me, too. Gods, why <em>did</em> you stay? Through Bleak Falls? Through Riverwood? Sanguine? Azura?”</p><p>He shook his head.</p><p>“I can’t judge you for what you’ve done, not after what I’ve done. What we… I might wind up doing before the end. But I hope you find some kind of peace. I honestly don’t know if you’ll be able to find that with me, now. Maybe fixing whatever all <em>this</em> is will be enough to redeem us. Or maybe it doesn’t matter what we do because we’ve already been bought and sold by the gods. …I want to help you try, though. The way you’ve been helping me. It might not look like it, but you’re doing more than you know. Worth far more than our stupid prophecy.” Violet squeezed his hand and used some of the surrounding water to clean the blood off.</p><p>Kaidan looked at the woman who had rescued him all those months ago from possibly dying alone and broken by the Thalmor. Starfall had seen his back and that awful thing inside of him and didn’t run away. She stayed and healed him, instead. For all the things that had happened, she’d never hurt him (intentionally) and she wasn’t afraid of him, just of losing him. She’d had a fit and had <em>cracked the world open</em> when she thought that she’d lost him; dear gods, that was so terrifying and wrong when he thought about it. He wasn't worth that.</p><p>But, she’d said again and again that he was important to her. Starfall had trusted him with her life, and still did after telling on himself at his absolute worst. She protected, healed, and comforted him as he did to her, and just like him, she was trying to do better for both their sakes. Kaidan pulled her onto his lap and into a hug so tight she thought her ribs were going to break again.</p><p>Violet reflexively squirmed in Kaidan's embrace, but when he started to rock them back and forth and gasp erratically, she stopped. She could hear his voice hitch and die off when he tried to talk.</p><p>“Still hurts sometimes,” he breathed as he buried his face in her hair. “But I suppose I deserve it.”</p><p>Violet sighed and pushed down her own discomfort. Her fingers passed over his cheek and she radiated a dim healing light.</p><p>*</p><p>“Are you okay, now?” Violet whispered. Remembering had exhausted Kaidan, and hours later he still hadn’t let go of her. At least he let her keep reading. “And don't lie this time.”</p><p>“Just about. Your cloud’s gone, too,” Kaidan yawned, looking up at the sky. It was clear just in time to change from grey to orange and red. “You weren’t really going to…?”</p><p>“I don’t even know. All I felt was blind fury. …You know, you absolutely do <em>not</em> get to be on my case for being crazy anymore, right? Because that was absolutely fucking horrifying, and it’s a damn <em>miracle</em> your mind and soul still <em>exist</em> at all, let alone <em>work</em>. That woman could have destroyed them permanently or left you to a slow death of soul erosion, even if she didn’t kill you outright.” She reached over and poked his temple repeatedly.</p><p>He twitched at her poking. “Mm.”</p><p>“Certainly explains why you come off as Daedric to people who can sense it, though. Don’t worry, you’re not. It’s just… Just like the mark, the atronach imprinted on you and your actual soul got… hmm… molded? Tainted? Scarred? Anyway. There’s traces, but you’re still you. Mortal. Human. Akaviri. Kaidan.” She studied his arms and hands. He’d started shaking again as she was talking about it.</p><p>“Figured that fire atronach helped us both escape and went back to Oblivion. Didn’t know Rosalind’s utter stupidity left us… me… like…”</p><p>“It’s okay. You’re alright, now. Didn’t mean to scare you again.” There was going to be a moment though where she was going to hunt down this Rosalind and he <em>really</em> wasn’t going to like what she was going to do to her. She obviously wasn’t dead or, like her, the type to let that kind of shit go.</p><p>“I guess it’s good to know,” he said, closing his eyes.</p><p>“I didn’t even get to go collect alchemy ingredients,” she sighed.</p><p>“Maybe next time when you’re not absorbed in your book.” He took a peek over her shoulder. “Which one is that, anyway?”</p><p>“It was supposed to be the book you brought back that Urag wanted me to read, except I’m not actually reading. Thoughts still racing so I’ve basically been going over the same lines and not seeing any of it. I think the day got a little too long.” She rubbed her eyes.</p><p>“Aye.”</p><p>“Could head back, then.”</p><p>“Didn’t catch dinner, either.” He looked over and his fishing pole was burnt. “And I need a new pole.”</p><p>“It was just a stick and string with a bit of bent metal on it. And if you want fish again, I have a spear…” Going over to the pond made her stop short. “Is… boiled fish okay?”</p><p>He went over to look at what she found and looked down at the mess. Obviously she’d created that fire effigy over the water so she didn’t burn down the whole field with them trapped in the middle, but now there were lots of little dead creatures floating on the water. Fish, frogs, insects, a couple of small mudcrabs… While Kaidan tried to remind himself that she was <em>trying</em> to be good and sometimes things just <em>happened</em> with her, she went down and collected the fish.</p><p>“I call the mudcrabs. Plus, I can use the shells.” The alchemist couldn’t even be bothered to wait though, and broke off one of its legs.</p><p>He cringed when she crunched on the end and started sucking the meat out of it, and left to get the rest of their things.</p><p>*</p><p>They returned to Breezehome late in the evening, and she sat him down and explained just what exactly she meant to do that was so important at the college. Being back home with her notes let her think a little more clearly.</p><p>“I’ve got to turn in all this stupid Eye of Magnus garbage. I told them I didn’t want it to be my problem, but here I am anyway trying to figure out what it is. Ancano’s stunt was just too foreboding.”</p><p>“Did the book I brought back have anything? I know it was a little hard to read earlier.” Kaidan took over the ‘cooking’ since Starfall did it the previous night. Though it was more like reheating.</p><p>She flipped back a few pages and started reading. “Thank you for getting it back, by the way. Here… <em>The true motives behind the Night of Tears have been obscured to us by the passage of time, but I believe this was not a simple war of territory, or of control of Skyrim. I believe that what happened was a significant event based around something very particular.</em></p><p><em>The Nords found something when they built their city, buried deep in the ground. They attempted to keep it buried, but the elves learned of it and coveted it for themselves. Thus they assaulted Saarthal, their goal not to drive the Nords out but to secure this power for themselves. I believe Ysgramor knew something of what the elves would find under Saarthal, and rallied together his people to keep the elves from gaining it. When Nords once again controlled Skyrim, this power was buried deep below the earth and sealed away.</em> …I really hope there’s more in here somewhere, because this is turning out to be absolutely useless, no offense to your hard work.” She tried skipping forward and was already frowning.</p><p>“Just make sure Urag understands what Lydia and I went through to get them and pays accordingly,” Kaidan said.</p><p>“I’ll… try? Even though it’s a library… Still can’t believe I’m supposed to have yet another job while I’m doing all this other bullshit. And I’ve already missed my first week.”</p><p>He chuckled under his breath. “Don't know how that’s going to work unless you just sit at a desk and let them read over your shoulder.”</p><p>“Well I'd make you my speaking assistant if I was sure you wouldn't just complain the entire time,” she scoffed at him.</p><p>“Hmph. Just because I have no interest in magic doesn’t mean I don’t want to learn anything else. I love a good book almost as much as you. And I learned <em>Dovahzul</em>, didn’t I?”</p><p>“True. And I’ve been thinking on what I was able to glean from my earlier research. You took to <em>Dovahzul</em> like you were already raised with it. You were able to interrupt Beinaarkh’s summoning early, and issue your own challenge to Kahvozein by calling its name. Arngeir said during our first lesson that that is a type of thu’um, and he was surprised that <em>I</em> was able to learn a word from <em>you</em>. We know dragons are from Akavir now, not Atmora because they recognized you as an Akaviri and a <em>Dovahkriid</em>. Even your sword is written in Draconic. There’s something to this. Still with me? You know how I’m vague and bad at this.”</p><p>He rolled his eyes. “Yes, I understand. You think with a bit of time and practice, I could use thu’um.”</p><p>“That’s another reason why I want to go back to the college. I cross-referenced—”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>Her face went flat. “<em>…One book talked about another book</em> that might be at the library; it might have more clues about the Akaviri as people, but the Archmage said that the Great Collapse destroyed most of their collection. I promise I’ll be careful, and won’t stir trouble. Not that <em>any</em> of what happened the other week was my fault in the first damn place.”</p><p>He thought for a bit. “I’ll go with you.”</p><p>She raised her eyebrow. “Are you sure? Now that there’s an easy way to come and go from there, you don’t have to be stuck with me or live at the Frozen Hearth. You can just stay here with Lydia, or go wherever you want. I understand now why and how much you didn’t want to be there.”</p><p>“I suppose, but I still have business there, too. I still need to be able to do something whenever you need help fighting those monsters in your head. And I want to see the library. Do some of my own book work.” He just hoped there was enough money left after the past few days to finish his project. Then he noticed her grinning at him. He was slightly disconcerted at how happy that made her…</p><p>“Maybe I could teach you how to get the full use out of an academic library, and you’ll understand what I’m talking about when I ask for a bibliography so we can go deeper. Like where the Dwemer are at <em>deeper</em>. I’ll make you a scholar, yet.” She gave his forehead a few pats.</p><p>“Ah.”</p><p>*</p><p>“Violet Starfall is the Thane of Whiterun. She’s been hiding in plain sight.” The justiciar chuckled. “She’s been spotted coming and going from Dragonsreach over the past week, and our eyes there have seen the Akaviri leaving the city without her.”</p><p>“She’s a <em>thane</em>? But she’s not even a citizen of Skyrim. And as far as her dossier (and her base behavior) says, she’s not even remotely related to any nobility.” Ancano was flipping through it again, wondering how he missed that information.</p><p>Now that the Midden had been graciously cleared out, it made a much more suitable space for Estormo and Ancano to work out of. Everyone else was still wary about going down there, Phinis and Colette now had no reason to be investigating and patrolling, and whatever cursed nonsense that Starfall and Kaidan had found had been put down with obscenely excessive force. The two Altmer sat in one of the dead ends with a hanging brazier for light and warmth while they compared notes.</p><p>There was almost nothing else they could find on the Eye of Magnus, other than it was the source of the Night of Tears massacre thousands of years ago. No mentions anywhere else in the entire Arcanaeum. And without any access to the Eye itself, Ancano was stuck… up until he finally tricked Tolfdir into a tongue slip.</p><p>“And we can’t be seen there as that would provoke both sides of this damned war.” Estormo said. “How convenient that everyone keeps finding barricades to put in our way.”</p><p>“Indeed. Well, it seems no other news has happened in either Whiterun or Winterhold, so the best we can do is wait for her to return. And she will. Very soon, I suspect.” Ancano said.</p><p>“What do you mean?” Estormo eyed him suspiciously.</p><p>“She may act like she hates it, but the Eye calls to her as it does to me. She’ll finally become tired of trying to avoid it and come looking for answers. Did you know that there’s another member of the college living even deeper in the Midden?”</p><p>“Someone <em>lives</em> down here?” The Justiciar said, looking around with disgust.</p><p>“In a manner of speaking, yes.” Ancano got up and motioned for Estormo to follow him.</p><p>The further they went down into the Midden, the less it looked like the college and more like the inside of the pillar holding it up. The walls, floors and ceiling stopped being made of stone bricks and turned into solid formations of ice. Estormo furrowed his brow and cast his heat shielding once he felt a bitter chill of sea air coming from one of the corridors. They arrived at a plain wooden door that did not look like it belonged that far down.</p><p>“Who could possibly stand to live down here?” Estormo flicked a magelight on to see.</p><p>Ancano called out, “Augur of Dunlain.”</p><p>A wispy, disembodied voice echoed all around the caves. “<em>Seekers of knowledge. Seekers of power. Turn back.</em>”</p><p>“You know full well we will not.” Ancano rolled his eyes. “Open the door.”</p><p>Estormo looked for the source of the voice, as it didn’t seem to come from the door they were in front of. “Who or what is the Augur of Dunlain?”</p><p>“He <em>was</em> one of the scholars here some time ago, until an accident tore his body apart, but didn’t kill him. And yet, despite this transcendence that should have surely freed him to do <em>anything else</em>, he lives in this cold, dark <em>basement</em>.”</p><p>“<em>I am not confined to this plane. I am only here when I am needed. The college need not and does not concern itself with my presence.</em>” The Augur said.</p><p>“Yet you know that there are more pressing matters.” Ancano was starting to become impatient already.</p><p>“<em>The matter of your folly. Come.</em>” The door finally opened and the two men had to shield their eyes. Estormo’s magelight was clearly no longer needed.</p><p>Even seeing the Augur of Dunlain up close, neither one of them was really sure what they were looking at. The Augur was too large and bright to be a wisp, he was too simple in appearance to be a ghost or undead, and yet he radiated almost the same amount of magicka as the Eye when it had first arrived at the college.</p><p>Ancano immediately turned curt. “We’re not here about whether you think we’ll succeed or fail. We want to know what the Eye of Magnus is and how to control it.”</p><p>“<em>The Eye is the path of destruction.</em>”</p><p>“Stop being obtuse. We mean literally. In technical terms. Is it a weapon? Is it a device? Is it alive? Who created it? Why?” Estormo counted on his fingers.</p><p>“<em>That is irrelevant to what lies ahead. I cannot stop you, however, just as I cannot stop the ones who will come after you.</em>” He would have shaken his head if he had one.</p><p>“Starfall?” Estormo demanded.</p><p>“<em>That is what the Blood of Akatosh calls herself.</em>”</p><p>Ancano leered at the giant magelight. “Is she after the Eye as well?”</p><p>“<em>You both will fail.</em>”</p><p>“Well then, how do we succeed? Or stop her?” he growled.</p><p>“<em>You cannot stop the will of Akatosh. Or rather, Auriel.</em>”</p><p>Estormo threw his hands up. “But you just said that she will fail.”</p><p>“<em>And that is his will.</em>”</p><p>“I don’t like this thing…” he hissed quietly to Ancano.</p><p>“Then how do <em>we</em> control the Eye of Magnus?” Ancano asked.</p><p>“<em>The Eye has many components, spread across Mundus and Oblivion. Without those, you are limited to only drawing upon the limitless well.</em>”</p><p>He was already plotting. “It’s a font, then.”</p><p>“<em>An amplifier.</em>”</p><p>Estormo’s eyebrows went up. The Redguard capable of destroying a small island or part of a city did not need even <em>more</em> power. “What would it be to Starfall, then?”</p><p>“<em>A terrible burden.</em>”</p><p>“Well, gods forbid I let that happen to the poor girl.” Ancano scoffed.</p><p>Estormo raised his eyebrow but kept quiet. The first report of the Eye sounded almost as mad as the report asking about Starfall. But the Eye turned out to be the more immediate concern. Ancano was starting to become obsessed, and for the Eye to be ‘calling out to him’ was ominous. But better the Aldmeri Dominion’s hand than Starfall’s.</p><p>Ancano snapped back to the present. “What would we need to at least hinder her progress, then?”</p><p>“<em>If you insist on trying, simply observe her. She will show you, herself. But her path is even more perilous than yours.</em>”</p><p>The inquisitor and justiciar looked at each other. She’d been questioned twice, and yet the Thalmor barely had a damned thing on her. Unless this irritating thing meant that she was terrible at covering up her tracks, which she absolutely was.</p><p>*</p><p>Lydia was confused that they were leaving so soon again, but that was the mercenary's life, she supposed. With Kaidan carrying the stack of books and Starfall carrying what looked like far more notes than she possibly could have written in a week (and the broken relic of a god stuffed at the bottom of her pack), he showed her where and how to return to the college. At first, she was a little concerned that it required that they turn down a back alley and almost falling off of a bridge into the aqueduct, but the tiny gated storage room had a large, straw covered, engraved plate on the ground with the college’s seal on it. He handed Starfall the extra notes from Ervine, and on scanning them, she scowled at him.</p><p>“That’s it?! It was right down the street?! And that’s all I had to do to sneak out of here?” Violet considered smacking him with one of the many books within her reach.</p><p>“I don’t know if that’s considered easy or not! I had different instructions! And besides, for all the exploring you evidently did the past few days, I’m surprised you didn’t find it, anyway,” he grumbled.</p><p>She took several deep breaths. “Get in the circle.”</p><p>He made sure both he and the books had room, and when she joined them on the plate, it reacted to her magicka just like the others. It turned into a small tower of light and her hands waved with the same light in a pattern Kaidan didn’t recognize. It flashed for a second, and the little back alley shimmered into a little cozy alcove inside of the college. She turned around to make sure everything was alright and they were in their respective pieces, and she finally got a glimpse of the wall of crystal balls.</p><p>“Where the fuck were these four months ago?!” Violet pointed at them.</p><p>“That’s what I said!” Kaidan shrugged. “But turns out we couldn’t have used them anyway without coming here first, and being part of the club.”</p><p>“Ugh. Whatever. This looks like the faculty dorms. And because it’s morning, everyone’s probably in the main hall. I think there’s a way to get to the library around the outside without going downstairs through the front door.” She pointed across the atrium at the stairwell. There was a door leading outward next to the stairs.</p><p>“Are you really planning to sneak your way around just to try and avoid the Thalmor for however long it’ll take us to finish our research?”</p><p>“What’s your plan then? And while I would very much like to just pop their heads off like wine corks, if these people who all very clearly hate them haven’t done it, I’m not about to get kicked out of here for it, either. Least not yet. Or until he gives me a really good reason,” she huffed.</p><p>He took a look around to make sure there wasn’t anyone still there. “I was going to say bait him until he gives you a good reason, but that would probably wind up spiraling out of control, fast. No sneaking. We’re on neutral ground. Let’s just get our business done here and move on. We don’t owe anyone else a peek at what we’re doing, either.”</p><p>“Your call. You’re my strategist.” She followed him downstairs and out to the courtyard.</p><p>While the mornings in Whiterun were cool but still semi-bearable, mornings in Winterhold were bitter cold, bright grey, and the wind blew in from the sea. It made Violet remember that she needed a new set of robes yet again as she pulled her cloak tightly around herself and put a fire shield up. Maybe not white this time, even if she was focusing more on Restoration. Updated Destruction enchantments like Faralda’s and Nirya’s. The blood wouldn’t show as much. Or find black ones.</p><p>“Still have to find the alchemy master.” Violet went over to peek in the hothouse. Still pretty, still no one inside.</p><p>“We didn’t see her in the Midden, either. Just have to ask someone, I suppose.” Kaidan paused to look alongside her. “Some of those are actually really pretty. And you probably know about all of them.”</p><p>She quickly ducked inside for a moment, then brought back a small, purple wildflower cluster. “It’s so small and plain, and you find it by the side of the road. But then you mix it with a ground pearl, and it would both keep you from freezing and running out of stamina. Or, made into a very concentrated potion with wheat, I wouldn’t be able to use magic for a good while. You know this already, but it’s the little things that you have to watch out for.” And then she put the flower in her hair.</p><p>He thought on her words a moment, then patted her shoulder and went on to get rid of the heavy stack of books.</p><p>In the Hall of Elements, the main area was busy with the sounds of small explosions, portal echoes, and people talking over one another. The gate was shut, but they could both plainly see the Eye was still there spinning quietly. This time, it had a bright blue wall encircling it, and whatever Mirabelle had told everyone, they all kept well away, now. The awful thing didn’t even seem to notice or want to bother her, thank goodness.</p><p>The Arcanaeum was empty save for the librarian, and they were both grateful. Starfall took her work upstairs to pick a table while Kaidan took the stack and carefully laid it across the information desk. Maybe he’d better do the negotiating himself. “All returned. None damaged.”</p><p>Urag squinted at him, then down at the stack of books. “We’ll see about that,” he muttered and started untying them. “And the stolen ones?”</p><p>“I found them. They were at Fellglow like you said. But the thieves were a lot less concerned about the books, and more concerned about <em>killing me</em>. These were some of the <em>less</em> damaged ones; seems they stole dozens from a lot of different places.” He pointed to the three frozen and singed ones at the end.</p><p>Urag picked them up and growled in that way that Starfall would right before she started swearing up and down. Ironically, the orc had more restraint. “Fair enough. Hopefully Orthorn got what was coming to him.”</p><p>“Lessons were learned.” Now what kind of lessons…</p><p>“Good. And thank you. I’ll look these over, later. And here’s the one Tolfdir and Savos wanted her to read: Night of Tears. I remember this one. Interesting. I’ll tell them it’s back. And… here. I suppose you've earned these. Found these extras.”</p><p>The librarian scratched his balding head and ducked under the counter to exchange the longer stack of books for a shorter one. All the spines had advanced concepts like phylogeny and a book directed at battlemages, which Kaidan was not, though Starfall was.</p><p>Kaidan stared at them. “What are these?”</p><p>“Your reward,” Urag grunted.</p><p>The warrior paused for a minute. “Are you serious? That’s great for her, but I’m the one who nearly got murdered <em>twice</em> over these books, and I don’t exactly have a need for <em>magic</em>. I do however, have to <em>pay</em> to patch up my armor where I was <em>stabbed</em>. Over a <em>book</em>.”</p><p>Urag’s expression flattened. “…This is a library, not a treasury. We have books, not money.”</p><p>Kaidan pinched between his eyebrows and closed his eyes before they started telling on him. “Oi. Starfall.”</p><p>Her voice was directly above him. “Hmm.”</p><p>“<em>Your</em> reward. Come get these.”</p><p>She joined him at the desk, studied the stack of books, then went wide-eyed. “Really? All of them?”</p><p>“Hmph. At least <em>someone</em> here understands the value,” Urag said.</p><p>She quickly grabbed the stack. “Kai, I’ll explain upstairs, but this is very good. And I told you so. Thank you, Urag.”</p><p>The librarian dropped his voice to a whisper. “And hey, be careful of the two Thalmor lurking around. They were reading up on your Akaviri friend, here.”</p><p>Kaidan’s disappointment and annoyance turned into a full scowl, and he forgot about his eyes. “What.”</p><p>He quickly scribbled down the titles of five books on a slip of paper and gave them to him. “Though I’m not sure what good they thought a bunch of outdated books on Akaviri would do them if no one’s seen you all for ages and facts have obviously changed a lot over that time. Like the ‘fact’ that the Akaviri are described as beasts and <em>demons</em> while the humans are all <em>dead</em>.”</p><p>Kaidan growled at Urag's insinuation, then looked down at the piece of paper. There were books here about the Akaviri, just like Starfall had said. But they sounded like they’d just make things more confusing. He could give the paper to her and she could probably sift through all of them faster than he could. Leave her be, she’s already got enough on her plate. The paper went into one of his belt pouches.</p><p>She pulled out a silver vial and shook it at Kaidan. He was looking at her like he could use the help. Try not to get distracted; he can learn to do it himself. One thing at a time. “I’m going to continue where I left off. Do you need anything important before I get started? I kind of become… driven and don’t really like to be disturbed.”</p><p>“I’ll manage. I don’t mean to spend all day and night here like you will.” Or at least he didn’t until he got that list. Kaidan went to start his first search, which was more about the Blades and Dragonguard than the Akaviri.</p><p>By the time he’d found the book he wanted and returned to where Starfall was sitting, she was already well into writing and had a different stack of books open than what Urag had given her. He knew that her driven moods caused her to work harder and sometimes (often) to the detriment of everything else, but he’d never actually seen what she did that made it seem like she’d fit more work into a short time frame. He sat across from her and glanced up every once in a while to see she was writing incredibly fast with one hand, and had a small glittering spell weaving through her other’s flexing fingers. Occasionally, she’d run a glowing finger over some passage in her book. Whatever works for her.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Chapter 11</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>This is what happens when you ignore your messages for too long.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Neither Violet nor Kaidan realized the time until a few students and some of the masters came in. She twitched but kept working, while he was happy for the bit of noise to wake him up. Looking over the railing, he saw Colette making awkward conversation to Urag. Kaidan was hesitant about talking with her. She was… unpleasant, but necessary. He looked back at Starfall, wondering if he should disturb her trance. She was still writing away, and now had a small stack of papers filled out with no signs of stopping.</p><p>"Hey. Rest a moment. The classes have ended and some of the other masters are here. You can ask them about getting help." Kaidan waved his hand between her eyes and her writing.</p><p>It took a little bit before the spell she was in left her head. She blinked a few times and came back from wherever her mind went.</p><p>"Take a break, you've been sitting still for hours. The others are here, and you can ask your questions. What were you working on that you left Nirn?" He looked in her eyes which were still slightly unfocused.</p><p>She groaned and rubbed her eyes. "Hate this part. …Only way I can get anything done in a reasonable amount of time. You've seen why. Anyway, back before everything happened, I started with the basics. Learning about all the gods and princes I never paid attention to. Reading to see just how much trouble we're in with… the ones who've already decided to get involved. Not much, so far. I know you don't want to hear it, but it's not going to stop with the ones who've already called on… me. Don’t know who will or won't."</p><p>"That's fair. Seems all this is bigger than us." He still didn’t like to think about how important he was to all of <em>this</em>.</p><p>"Today’s lesson was more trying to figure out Akatosh and Alduin, specifically. Akatosh is relatively straightforward. You probably already know all of it, so I'll skip that. Alduin is a mess. The dragons that everyone else considers to be simple destructive beasts actually used to be feral before Alduin, already full of himself for being the first son of Akatosh, told them what easy prey the little mortals are. It got out of control after that."</p><p>"And then the little mortals had enough and started fighting back."</p><p>"Some did. There's always the stupid ones who think 'let's worship the thing killing us all and maybe they'll stop.' They <em>never</em> stop. Years and years of wars, rebellions, and death. And yet, no one could completely wipe them out. Mostly because of morons like the Greybeards giving them refuge. And now we're right back where we started," Violet growled.</p><p>Kaidan hummed in thought. "Anything on how they're being resurrected? Maybe that can be stopped."</p><p>She shook her head. "This hasn't happened before. History both is, and is not, repeating itself. I honestly have no idea what the Divines' plan is, here. Make dragons. Make mortals. Dragons kill mortals. Panic and give mortals the means to fight back. Mortals kill dragons. Panic again and resurrect dragons. Dragons immediately start killing mortals again. Panic one more time, and just smash a god, mortal, and dragon together in the worst, haphazard, unethical way possible and hope it works itself out." Then she put her head down on the table and closed her eyes.</p><p>He watched her for a few seconds. "Go get some air. I'll keep an eye on all this."</p><p>"In a minute. That spell always drains me for a little bit. Just need a quick nap." Violet yawned.</p><p>*</p><p>Violet stared at the Eye of Magnus, then looked around at the endless expanse of ash all around her. The Eye wasn't floating or glowing or doing anything anymore. It was just a hot, metal ball reflecting the sun right in her face no matter which side of it she was facing. She started to pound on the perfect circle of the center plate, and the knocking amplified into a hollow clanking noise that was carried off by the infinite destruction. The engraving around the edge flashed measurements and coordinates she couldn't even begin to calculate.</p><p>"Open up! Please! Bring it back! You can't leave me like this!" Violet rubbed her arm over her eyes and fought back tears.</p><p>There was no answer. Not that she had any idea who or what 'you' was.</p><p>"Why didn’t you stay buried?!" She scrabbled her nails at the seams, but that only tore up her fingertips.</p><p>Still nothing. Fine. Violet didn't have any tools, and the ash didn't respond to magic because there wasn't any left in existence. There wasn't anything or anyone, anymore. She started digging to the bottom of the ashes with her hands. The Eye of Magnus had to go back. For every scoop she moved out of the hole, it slid right back in. There was no one else to do it. Her dragon souls circled to make sure she didn’t give up and leave. And go where? So she sat there on her knees, in that weird, grey, awful, impossible nothingness, and dug the hole.</p><p>*</p><p>A few minutes later, Kaidan heard little scraping noises. Starfall's nails rhythmically dug into the table and started to leave deep grooves. He held her hands before she either hurt herself or damaged the table any further.</p><p>'Strange place to be having nightmares.' He whispered to her, "Come on, wake up. You’re moving in your sleep."</p><p>All at once, Violet jerked awake and tried to pull out of his grip. "It's… shit. Can’t describe it. Gotta get rid of it. <em>DO NOT OPEN.</em>"</p><p>"Starfall. Stop. It’s okay, it was just a nightmare. You're in the library."</p><p>"We need to find Tolfdir and Mirabelle. <em>Now</em>." She was breathing strangely…</p><p>"Star. Calm down. It’s me. What’s wrong?"</p><p>"Yeah, I know. Stop. But the Eye." She wriggled out of his hands and stumbled away from the bench. "Fuuuuck that, no no no no…"</p><p>Kaidan reached for her and grabbed her arm before she fell over herself. "Take a second to get your head back. What's wrong with the Eye?"</p><p>She was still pulling away. "That damn thing <em>knows</em> I'm back."</p><p>"It… knows. So you're saying the Eye is <em>alive</em>." That was so much worse than any of the ideas he'd come up with. Mostly because he didn't even want to think of that possibility.</p><p>"No."</p><p>"Oh, thank the gods."</p><p>"I'm going to leave you with that small comfort." She started to take off running and got three steps before Urag called up to her.</p><p>"No running in the Arcanaeum!"</p><p>*</p><p>As much as she didn't want to go near the Eye of Magnus, she went directly for it as soon as she opened the door down to the Hall of Elements. The gate was open, and there was Tolfdir standing beside it and writing up a storm.</p><p>'At least it's easier this way.' She tried not to be too loud. “Tolfdir. We need to talk. It's urgent.”</p><p>He was startled out of his own deep concentration, though this was more the Eye's influence than getting into his own work flow. "Starfall? You're alive! I mean, I knew you were alive, Colette told me you were. But she said you were in dire health! And the business outside! Are you alright? You look like something’s the matter."</p><p>She was trying to figure out what to say. He was probably going to be even more stubborn than when they were in Saarthal, but he wasn't going to be the one saddled with this godsforsaken thing when, not if, everything went to shit. "I'm alive, but that's about it. Tolfdir, I have to speak to you about the Eye. It is so important that you listen carefully."</p><p>"Ah! Then you're just in time. I've made a few observations about the artifact. If you'll note the engraved runes here, you see that they're not in any known language on Tamriel, or even the ones we know of Oblivion. I tried looking up Ehlnofex, the language of the first mortal progenitors, but either the direct descendant Ayleids weren't able to preserve it, or it simply is too closely related. And if you look at the seams, it seems — heh — that whatever they’ve written, fits perfectly within each shape, no matter how large or small it is."</p><p>"It's calculations I can't quantify because I don't know what they're in relation to before it opens. And that’s the problem."</p><p>"Wait, you can read it?!"</p><p>"No. The damn thing won't leave me alone trying to get me to open it. Tolfdir. It has to <em>go</em>. And not back to Saarthal this time. Ancano knows it exists and he's opened it. He's not going to stop until he gets it open again, and I think we really narrowly missed a disaster last time for how long he had it open. The thing is, I'm not sure why or how, but the way it attracted the dragons who didn’t want us to have it, and how it's trying to get me to open it, I think it needs my cursed blood."</p><p>He snapped his fingers. "Interesting. That also reminds me. Between having a new master here at the college specializing in dragons, my normal research and lessons in Alteration, and Savos encouraging everyone to study the dragons that you and he killed, I believe you've inspired me with yet another breakthrough! A cost-efficient, natural, hide armor, stronger than ebony. Unfortunately, it can only be applied in short bursts. I suppose it would be more of an emergency armor, unless you feel you could improve upon it?"</p><p>Her hands were flexing. "You’re getting distracted. It is bad when <em>I'm</em> the one telling you this. Did you hear anything I said? It <em>cannot</em> stay here. Preferably we should chain it to a couple dozen boulders and drop it in the middle of the ocean."</p><p>Tolfdir put his hand on her shoulder. "You keep saying that, Starfall, but you really don't have anything to worry about. Savos, Mirabelle, and I have ensured that no one can get through the wards this time. It hasn't done a single thing but spin since you left, and Ancano's learned his lesson."</p><p>'That's not how the Thalmor work, and you know it.' Violet whined into her hand and dropped her voice to a whisper. "I think… I think I have a <em>clue</em> as to what it is, but it knows I have to open it to fully understand. And that's not happening. And combined with the warning that the Psijic Order had to literally come out of a century of hiding to give me, it's better to just stop all this <em>now</em>. Suppose we do figure it out. What if it's a weapon? What if it is directly related to Magnus himself? Would you really believe something that powerful, that invaluable, that <em>unbelievable</em>, is still safe here at a, no offense, broken and neglected little school that's completely unguarded? A few wards to keep people out? Really? Tolfdir, I know you know better than that."</p><p>Violet looked at the spinning blue wall around it and for a few seconds, she dropped a small red circle directly on top of it, so it created another, more powerful ward and put a moving hole in the wall. Before anyone else saw, she snatched her ward up and the blue shield came back up. Just having the Eye exposed for a few seconds was enough to hit her with a wave of nausea and stumbling, which didn't help her already high anxiety.</p><p>He looked back and forth between her and the spot where she'd put a hole in the ward and his argument. "You are not making this easy."</p><p>"Tolfdir, who are you… talking… to." Ancano's face immediately twisted into a scowl. "Starfall. When did you return?"</p><p>'None of your business.' She shrugged. "When I meant to."</p><p>The inquisitor closed his eyes and pushed it all down. "You have a <em>visitor</em>. You've been missing all this time, and there's been absolutely <em>nothing</em> happening. Then someone comes calling for you only a few moments ago. I tell him you're not here, and he says you are. And here you are, with the <em>Eye</em>, right when I come check."</p><p>'Should have just exchanged the books and left again.' Not even a full day of being back and it's like everyone and everything <em>waited</em> for her to sit down to work before resuming the horseshit. "Who is it?"</p><p>"Ask him yourself. You will come with me to the Archmage's office. <em>Now</em>."</p><p>Wait a minute. Who in the world would even know where she was? It wasn’t Delphine; Ancano said 'him'. Was she about to walk into a trap? Her brain was still shaky from that horrible dream. "Let me go get—"</p><p><em>"</em><em>I will not repeat myself,</em>" his voice hardened.</p><p>She silently looked up at him and blinked. Ancano saw what was behind her eyes, turned, and started walking.</p><p>Tolfdir couldn’t see Starfall's expression, but was well shaken anyway… "Oh, dear. Starfall, we’ll continue this conversation later. Maybe without any <em>interruptions</em>."</p><p>She couldn’t even be bothered to try and stop Tolfdir from digging right back into his work. Whoever this was, they'd better be real damn important. And if not, the Archmage was probably going to need a whole new office. She followed Ancano around the corner and up the stairs. The Archmage was standing beside the seal on the floor, looking especially concerned.</p><p>She instantly recognized the robes of the Psijic mage standing in front of Savos's desk, occupying himself by pacing with his arms crossed. She hadn’t managed to get rid of that damned Eye in time and now she was going to get yelled at or punished for these morons' stubborn actions. How was any of this fair?! She pinched between her eyebrows. <em>"</em><em>Fuck</em>!"</p><p>All three men furrowed their eyebrows at her.</p><p>"I beg your pardon?!" Ancano looked down at the foulmouthed little shrew beside him.</p><p>The Psijic swiped his hand in a circle quickly and the world stopped just like it did back in Saarthal. "Please do not be alarmed, Master Starfall. You're not in trouble, which is what I'm guessing that outburst was about. I am Quaranir, a member of the Psijic Order. I wish I were meeting the Dragonborn under better circumstances."</p><p>"What the f—" She looked around, stopped herself, and flexed her hands. "I know who you are. At least it's not a stupid, vague, thirty second message, this time. What have I done, then?"</p><p>"I've given us a chance to speak privately, but I'm afraid I can't do this for long. The situation here is now dire, and attempts to contact you as we have previously have failed. I—"</p><p>She raised her voice and pointed to Ancano. "—I know it's dire! I’m working on it! You see what I have to work with, here?! Especially this Thalmor fucker right here! I'd kill him and put a stop to this right now, but <em>meeh meeh meeh</em> civil war horseshit and I am <em>not</em> getting chased out of here before I've finished my research. And you couldn’t find me because I wasn't here before today!"</p><p>Quaranir rubbed his forehead and sighed. "The energy coming from the artifact has prevented the Order from finding you at <em>any</em> of the places you've been. The longer it remains here, the more dangerous the situation becomes. If no one is cooperating, then you're going to have to go around them."</p><p>"What do you mean the Eye's preventing it? Tolfdir said it's got a bunch of wards around it; I assumed they were working considering I'm not sick as a dog. It hasn't even tried to latch onto me until I foolishly bypassed the wards for a <em>second</em> a few minutes ago."</p><p>The Psijic quickly drew the Tenth Eye across her vision with his other hand and instantly regretted it when she started swearing loudly and flailing in panic. The glittering ribbons had created a web of light all around, over, and <em>through</em> her, pulsing with moving motes of light along the threads whenever she moved or tried to access her magicka. He took the spell away. "Please stop! It's not fatal or even harmful!" Yet…</p><p>"It's not fatal, but it explains the ten minutes before this! Why aren't you all fucking <em>helping</em> me if you’re so 'concerned'?! You're the secret order of elites!" She was still swatting at the invisible web and cycling through all of her spells trying to sever them. It bypassed her aetheric shield like it wasn't even there.</p><p>This wasn't at all how he imagined how this conversation would go, nor how the Dragonborn would act. "Look. I've already done too much already by coming here to warn you. <em>You</em> have to do this because it's obviously and literally linked to you, now. Most likely because you're the closest 'Divine' entity that it can find, if it really is linked to Magnus. You must understand, the Psijic Order does not typically… intervene directly in events. Just my presence here will be seen as an affront to some within the Order, and as soon as we have finished, I have to leave. I'm all too aware that my arrival has aroused suspicion, especially in Ancano. Nevertheless, my Order cannot and will not act <em>directly</em>."</p><p>Kaidan's frequent sentiment about 'bloody useless mages' sat front and center where she imagined that damned thing downstairs was threaded into her forehead. "So basically you just came here to nag me. You see me panicking here; what am I supposed to do about this?!"</p><p>"As you may have already learned, the artifact— "The Eye of Magnus", is immensely powerful. If it remains here, it will be misused. Indeed, many in the Order believe Ancano has already… Rather, something will happen soon, something that cannot be avoided. The best thing you can do at this point, is to start preparing for the aftermath," he said, hesitantly. She was already badly agitated, but there was no other way to say it.</p><p>That unspeakable vision from earlier clutched her chest. Everything reduced to ash… "What? And now you’re telling me it's already <em>too late</em>?!"</p><p>"No! I mean, the threshold for preventing it entirely has already passed. You're going to have to find a way to mitigate the worst of… whatever happens. The Eye is also blocking us from seeing what that is. Find someone here at the college called the Augur of Dunlain. He seems to be mostly unaffected by all of the conflicting energies converging here. One of your colleagues might know where he is?" Quaranir asked.</p><p>"Of course." Violet hissed and paced around in circles as frost gathered and crunched under her boots. 'Fucking bullshit destiny gonna find whoever's responsible for all this and—'</p><p>The Psijic mage shook his head. "I'm sorry I cannot provide you with further help, Master Starfall. As it is, this conversation requires a great deal of effort on my part and I'm losing my grasp on the spell. Now, I am afraid I must leave. There are those of us within the Order who will continue to watch over you, and guide you as best we can. It is within you to succeed and I, we, believe that you will. Never forget that."</p><p>Time suddenly snapped back to normal, with movement and color and Ancano warning her to watch her tongue in front of the Archmage.</p><p>"Ah. It seems my presence has upset her. I… think this was a mistake, then," Quaranir cringed.</p><p>"What do you mean a <em>mistake</em>? What is the meaning of this? You seemed so <em>sure</em> she was here when she's been missing for <em>weeks</em>, and now, here she is. That is not a <em>mistake</em>, or a coincidence, or however you want to rationalize it." Ancano glared between the two of them.</p><p>Violet merely put her head in her hands and growled deep from the back of her throat.</p><p>He was starting to understand why Starfall was so on edge and moved towards the stairs. "There's been a misunderstanding. Clearly, she doesn't want me here, and so I should not be here. I shall simply take my leave."</p><p>Ancano stepped in front of him and blocked his way. "No. You're not going anywhere until I find out what you're up to."</p><p>"<strong><em>Ancano</em></strong>." Savos and Violet said together. Hers was <em>dov</em>, while Savos was both trying to keep some semblance of authority in his own office and fully recognized the robes the mysterious stranger was wearing.</p><p>The stone walls warped for only a second, but none of them seemed to notice, or if they did, refused to respond to it. The inquisitor took a breath and stood aside.</p><p>"I'm not 'up to' anything. I'm sorry to have caused any confusion or offense. Excuse me." And Quaranir left.</p><p>"How… odd?" Savos only saw Starfall looking even more agitated than when she came in and Ancano trying to maintain calm.</p><p>Those two had done something. Ancano hurried after the mysterious visitor, who was already walking out of the front door.</p><p>"It's… nothing," Violet lied even worse than Quaranir. She followed the others out, and on opening the door to the vestibule, they had already left.</p><p>She looked over at the Eye of Magnus. It was openly taunting her now; looking harmless to everyone else, but there may as well have been a giant, almost empty hourglass floating over it. Please, please, please don't let that dream be true. The places where it was tethered to her now itched all over.</p><p>*</p><p>Kaidan was on the lower floor of the Arcanaeum picking through the world history books when Starfall came up beside him. She gently closed the door to the bookshelf.</p><p>Her body and voice were shaking. "I have to talk to you outside."</p><p>He saw that look on her face and closed his eyes. "I told you we shouldn’t have come back, yet."</p><p>"This would have happened whenever we came back. Everyone was waiting specifically for <em>me</em>. We need to find someplace private."</p><p>He nodded to her, put their books away quickly, and followed her outside. "What about the gardens? No one's ever in those."</p><p>"It's made of glass, and my setting foot in there would instantly kill everything inside," she said.</p><p>Kaidan almost asked, "What have you done, now?" but if she was that serious about not causing any damage and being away from everyone else, best not to make it worse. "It’s safe in the Midden, now. No one ever went to the forge, I hear."</p><p>Violet only nodded. "Trying real hard, here."</p><p>"I can see you are. It must be bad."</p><p>"This isn't even related to the godsdamned dragons, I don't think, but somehow this is turning out to be <em>worse,</em>" she mumbled as she followed him down the ladder.</p><p>Once they were down the hatch to the Midden, Kaidan took the key, opened the gate, and locked it behind them. She used her hearing and spells to make sure no one else was around, then sat on the grindstone and put her head in her hands.</p><p>"I don’t even know where to fucking start with all this. This is such a mess, I wish I was back to just smiting giant lizards."</p><p>He leaned against the smelter. "Then start with why you were so worked up that you ran out of the library just because of a short dream you had."</p><p>"I woke up to a world made completely of ashes. It was perfectly flat. It wasn't hot, or cold, or anything. There was nothing left but grey in every direction, and the sun was stuck perfectly at midday. The sun reflected off the Eye and blinded me no matter where I turned. It was only me and that godsforsaken Eye of Magnus. There was nowhere to go. There was nothing left in it because it spent itself turning everything to dust. The runes on it are a bunch of measurements and calculations, but the only thing my head knows is '<em>DO NOT OPEN</em>'. Would've been nice if that were written in something mortals could <em>read</em>. The only thing I could do was bury it again. And I wasn’t allowed to do anything else until I got to the bottom of the ashes. There was no bottom. That’s what the Eye showed me." She shuddered.</p><p>Kaidan frowned. "But Ancano did open it. And while it did do some damage, the world didn't remotely end."</p><p>"It didn't end, but it did <em>start</em> to end. He opened it while I was in its presence, and now I'm bound to the fucking thing like I'm bound to Sanguine's staff. When I went to go try to talk Tolfdir into getting rid of it again, not knowing that, Ancano found me, and said I had a visitor. That cabal of mages I mentioned when I got out of Saarthal. They’re called the Psijic Order. They’re thousands of years old, and I wouldn't doubt some of the members are, too. They make the best of the Mage Guilds look like a bunch of children learning their first magelight." She snapped her fingers and one appeared at her fingertips, then snuffed itself out.</p><p>"All that power, and they're either too frightened, or too foolish, or too far up their own asses to do anything of value, which is why they hide on their secret island and never come out. At least until the godsdamned world is about to <em>end</em>. And then, only to nag <em>me</em> about it, because instead of warning people away from Saarthal, or making the lock unbreakable, or going to get the damn thing earlier, they put the warning on the inside after the seal had been broken.</p><p>"The one that did come to "warn" me a few minutes ago said he wasn't supposed to do it, and he's possibly going to get into trouble for leaving the island to come find me. Now, here's the real shit. When Ancano opened it, <em>that</em> was the point of no return. And I think he's been fucking with it or trying to get past Savos' wards when he thinks nobody’s looking. The Psijic said it's already too late to prevent… something. He doesn't know what, and ever since the Eye was opened, their magic, wherever the fuck they are, hasn't been working properly. But mine does. They couldn’t even find me, because evidently, I've been walking around this whole time, even while we were back in Whiterun, with a fucking <em>leash</em> on me. It <em>pulled</em> me back here, the piece of shit. And now it wants me to open it again, for some reason.</p><p>"He said the only thing I could do at this point, is to try and deal with whatever the aftermath is. So we have to <em>wait</em> for everything to go to shit, and then, and <em>only</em> then, pray that my being… <em>something</em>… is enough that everything doesn't get broken down to dust. Or whatever. Maybe just some things. Because this is my fault for not trying hard enough to stop Tolfdir, because I'm <em>partially Divine</em>, and now I'm cursed yet <em>again</em>, and fuck, it's not like I have anything better to do! There! Is <em>that</em> a better explanation of just how <em>fucked</em> all of this is?!" Violet was rocking herself back and forth and her voice was cracking.</p><p>Kaidan was leaning against the nice warm smelter, except sometime through her explanation, it and the rest of the room had gone ice cold. It went straight to his spine. "By the Nine…"</p><p>Scales and claws of ice formed over Violet's arms as she covered her face and started screaming. "I told him to leave it, I told him to <em>fucking</em> leave it, and he wouldn’t listen and yet he's not the one buried up to his neck out in the desert sun!"</p><p>Kaidan inched away from being in her direct path. Guarded against magic or no, he still didn’t want to be covered in scales, or have his heart frozen in his chest, or be cut up, again. Instead, he was a second too late to cover his ears when Starfall let off the most horrible roar of frustration, that made the whole stone room rattle and froze every surface solid. It wasn't even any sort of spell, just pure anger. She'd also forgotten herself, evidently, as she was now writhing on the floor with her ears covered. This definitely would have destroyed the hothouse upstairs.</p><p>'Gods damn it.' Kaidan took a deep breath and sat with her on the frozen ground. 'I won't bother telling you it'll be alright. But we've looked at death plenty of times before. We can do it again. It sounds like we don't have a choice, as usual. I'm still with you and I'll do whatever I can to help you… even if a lot of horrible magic is involved."</p><p>He pulled her into sitting upright and tried patiently to help her stop panicking, even as his own mind was starting to conjure its own nightmare scenarios.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Chapter 12</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Oh yeah, we were actually supposed to actually get help from the college.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"So did the Order at least give you a hint on what to do next?" Kaidan asked.</p><p>Violet nodded. "He said to find someone called the Augur of Dunlain; he's here at the college and to ask around. For some reason, he's not affected by all of this. Or at least, less than us."</p><p>"Mm. After you’ve finished today's work, or do we really have that little time?"</p><p>"<em>Soon,</em>" she scoffed.</p><p>"Of course. You still have to turn over the Star, and I still have people I need to talk to. The charm from Nelacar will be useful if I'm going to have to wade into this magic business," he said. "Well, I did see Colette in the library before you ran out. She might still be there. You can ask her about improving your healing spells, and possibly ask her about the Augur. She… does like conversation."</p><p>"I still haven't figured out why everyone else seems to hate her."</p><p>"Everyone is irritated by her because she believes everyone is out to get her, or for some reason thinks that healing isn't real magic? Although the fight we almost got into in the Archmage's office was because she made it sound like all this business is our fault. …Though it sort of is, now that I think about it," Kaidan mumbled.</p><p>"I guess we can both talk to her, then," she nodded to him.</p><p>Kaidan patted her back. "Are you alright after being alone with Ancano and the Archmage?"</p><p>She nodded. "Yeah. Ancano didn't get the chance to try anything because the Psijic was also there. He was too busy trying to figure out how to trap him, instead."</p><p>"Where's the other Thalmor agent, though? Ervine said that Ancano snitched on us and Urag said they'd been through the library, but we haven't seen anyone else, yet."</p><p>"Undoubtedly around." Violet pulled herself up by the grindstone and helped Kaidan up to his feet, then healed them after sitting on the ice-cold ground. "That's what spies do, they aren't obvious."</p><p>"Well then, Ancano’s not good at his job."</p><p>*</p><p>Back in the Arcanaeum, Colette was still flipping through various books on non-conventional races, when the very subject of her search came up to her table. Starfall was certainly looking better… well, she was on her feet. Poor thing looked like she was going to worry herself to death. "Oh! You're looking better, Starfall. Though I can already tell something’s bothering you, dear. It's not more ghosts, is it?"</p><p>"Uhh… no? Though I suppose I could use help with the offensive side of restoration." Violet dropped her voice to a whisper. "But more importantly, I need help with augmenting my healing to work with all the pain and grief this… curse is giving me. And a way for Kaidan to help me if I ever become incapacitated because of it."</p><p>"Oh. This must be what he was talking about before. Well, I've actually been looking for any cases where this might have come up, but so far, nothing on healing non-mortals, demi-mortals, or …dragons."</p><p>"I doubt you're going to find anything like that on my curse," she grumbled. "I didn’t find anything at Elinhir when I was there, and they're much more specialized when it comes to Restoration. I was thinking more along the lines of a scroll he could use. Wait, can you even use scrolls?"</p><p>Kaidan shrugged. "Not reliably. The spell almost always dies in my hand before anything happens. I think all the magic has to be inside the thing already, like an enchanted ring or what you do to my weapons. There's staves, but I don't want to carry another weapon around."</p><p>"You can use staves?" She raised her eyebrow.</p><p>"<em>Can</em> and <em>will</em> are two different things," he warned her.</p><p>Violet shook her head. "Fine, I won't push it."</p><p>Colette hummed and looked between the two of them. "The problem is, your 'curse', as you call it, is from Akatosh Himself. It's supposed to be a 'blessing', therefore we’re technically not supposed to remove it. I can understand how you'd want to be 'normal' again, but that would require us mortals to be able to create, augment, and cancel out the works of the Divines."</p><p>Violet thought about the giant, broken, corrupted soul gem in her pack. She almost opened her mouth and thought better of it. "So it's possible, but difficult and dangerous."</p><p>"I'm not sure how you came to that conclusion instead of 'impossible', but I'm just going to say that I don’t think I can help you remove or suppress the <em>blood of Akatosh</em>. And no offense, dears, but I don't want that kind of responsibility," Colette said to them.</p><p>"Not sure that this even is an Akatosh thing anymore, but that's an even deeper hole," she groaned. "Okay, I have to talk to a few more people, but do you know someone around the college called the Augur of Dunlain? All I can assume is that they're like the alchemy master and just hide all the time."</p><p>She snapped her fingers in remembrance. "Oh! The Augur! He might be able to help you. And it's not so much that he hides, so much as he's… stuck. Brilliant man, terrible accident. To this day, we still don't know what happened. But even more knowledgeable than me at Restoration. Mastered spells others could barely comprehend! But he's very particular about who he shares that knowledge with, so he's likely going to test you first. Just go aaalll the way down to the bottom of the Midden, almost to where you’d end up outside at the foundation, and knock on the door that doesn't really belong down there. I'm sure he's been paying attention to everything happening lately, and will be expecting you."</p><p>"And the alchemy master?" Violet asked.</p><p>"Sleeps-in-Blossoms just kind of moved into one of the hothouse basements, even though she has a perfectly nice suite and workshop where you two were staying. Just follow one of the back doors down and you’ll find her, eventually. I think. Haven't seen her in a while." Colette covered her mouth in thought.</p><p>Violet and Kaidan shrugged at each other and moved to leave.</p><p>"And Violet, dear. About the Augur." Colette lowered her voice.</p><p>Oh, no. "Yes?"</p><p>"I'm asking you now, so you don't get stuck when it seems like you don't have time to waste with failure. You said you weren't very well versed in Offensive Restoration. I assume it's because you only wanted to be a healer, or maybe you're a traditionalist. You <em>do</em> understand why Restoration is named the way it is, yes?"</p><p>Violet stopped and thought about it a moment.</p><p>Colette became very grim. "The things Kaidan said you did at Old Winterhold. Stealing unlife. Using yourself up as a weapon. Seeing Life and Death in their other forms, in others and yourself. I know it was a bit… unethical of me, but I knew you could handle it. I left that corruption with you so you could study and know it, in full and as a part of you."</p><p>Kaidan frowned at that, but kept quiet. He supposed it was something akin to his own harsh life lessons and trials of survival.</p><p>"Restoration of life <em>and</em> death," Violet said.</p><p>"Restoration of the balance." She held up her amulet of Arkay. "Keeping the living alive, knowing when to let death take its course, putting the undead back where they belong, and sometimes, <em>by any means necessary</em>. So, whatever the Augur asks of you, don't be afraid to do it."</p><p>The Restoration Master held up one scarred palm that looked like it had been cut open over and over in various runes. Her other palm was burned by repeated and sustained use of healing fire spells.</p><p>"Even healing magic…" Kaidan shook his head.</p><p>"Yes, dears. Even the holy light. Which could possibly be a reason why I get so much grief about it…"</p><p>Neither Kaidan nor Violet knew how to approach that one, so they excused themselves and left.</p><p>Violet rubbed her face. "I guess I should go find Sleeps-in-Blossoms while you go find whoever you were planning to talk to, then we can go back down to the Midden in a couple of hours. I have a feeling this whole Eye of Magnus business is just going to get bigger and bigger until we’ll wind up going all over the place looking for someone, anyone, who has a shred of godsdamned sense and can do something about all this."</p><p>*</p><p>Violet decided to try the eastern hothouse first, heading deep into the basement tunnels. She was expecting it to look like the Midden: grey, empty, filthy, and ugly. Instead, the slightly cramped hallways were almost homey with warm lights, low-light plants and books on every surface, wall decorations of insect alchemical specimens, and the ambient noise of running water and Dwemer pipes humming nearby. A peek into a nearby door was the stairwell up into their basement dorms; she could hear the boiler room rumbling away. She wanted to set her cloak aside on a rack since it was warm as well, but she’d probably forget it. She also smelled something familiar…</p><p>'The majority of the campus isn't this nice,' she thought to herself. "Hello?"</p><p>"I was wondering if anyone would ever find this place." A woman's deep and slightly grating voice echoed up and down the halls. "It's like no one up there has any need for alchemical knowledge. Which is fine with me. I still get paid to keep all this working."</p><p>'Must be nice,' Violet huffed. "I'm more surprised I haven't seen you despite all the …current events. Where are you?"</p><p>"Follow the sounds of water." The woman said. "Just past the mushroom rock. Feel free to sample, just not the spotted red one."</p><p>Following the sound was easy enough until Violet found a surprisingly lovely display of subterranean fungi and flora in the middle of the… was this a laboratory? A workshop? A home? She did as advertised and grabbed a simple white cap; it slowly charred around the edges as it rolled in the flames in her palm. Let's not get greedy and eat the rare and expensive cultivars. Still needed spices. There were jars of salts on a shelf and she took a pinch of fire. No wonder this woman never left, only thing missing down here was some sun. Not that Winterhold had any outside, either.</p><p>Right behind her was a cave formation leading down into a small underground pond. It was crammed with lots of devices she wasn't sure about and thus didn't mess with. Assorted fry swam around in bubbling glass tanks, and water plants were bunched up for cutting. She became mesmerized by the little colorful guppies and other water bug ingredients she couldn't keep alive in the desert (and with big voracious birds around). The Argonian woman sleepily floating face up in the pond completely missed her attention.</p><p>"I can’t release them into the pond yet, or else the mudcrabs will just eat them all," Sleeps-in-Blossoms said. "And I know about the dragons, and the weird ball in the main room, and the new dragon master. Not my specialty, none of my business."</p><p>Said dragon master remembered she was one and groaned. "Nngh. The new dragon master is actually just a tired healer who needs help with a formula and wants nothing to do with the dragons, either." Violet finally turned around to see the greyish-green Argonian woman sloshing her way back to the shore and raised her eyebrow.</p><p>"You’ve come to the right place, then. Sleeps-in-Blossoms. Good to meet a fellow master, and someone also completely out of their element in this freezing wasteland." She said as she squeezed the excess water from her white mage's tunic.</p><p>"I'm Violet. Nice to meet you," she said rather hesitantly. She didn't have anything against Argonians, though the amount of sharp teeth and claws and their monotone voices were a little confusing as to whether she'd pleased or offended them. Not that she was much better at interpreting human faces.</p><p>"I have to keep moist. The cold, dry air outside cracks my scales open. Then I have to waste ingredients on salves. And it's quiet, relaxing, and more comfortable than a bed," she tsked. "Now, what do you need help with?"</p><p>"It's all a bit complicated, and requires some more dangerous and 'rare' ingredients. I need to see if this is a viable solution." Violet brought out one of her journals and started flipping through it.</p><p>"Let's see it, then…" She crossed her arms and moved to look over Violet's shoulder. "Mm. Not moon sugar. Not potent enough. Skooma's too addictive and the body easily adjusts to it. But you're a Redguard, so traditional rules don’t quite apply. On the other hand, your frame is about the size of a Wood Elf's. Tricky. Got some time?"</p><p>She tried not to scream. Instead, it manifested as a whine. "…I think…"</p><p>Sleeps-in-Blossoms blinked at her and got a quick tongue-flick of the air around her. A gross mix of abject terror, stress, and barely restrained rage, adding up to her fidgeting and almost rocking on her feet. 'By Sithis, I see what this is for, then…'</p><p>*</p><p>Kaidan stood with his hand over his mouth, staring at the piece of paper the Master Enchanter was scribbling equations on. Sergius was just trying to make sure he had the order right, but it wasn't like Kaidan was well versed in bonding rituals. He was kind of out of it for that part…</p><p>"Look, I’m not going to tell you that it’s not going to work. It <em>will</em> work." Sergius said as he pointed to the paper. "I'm just telling you right now that it sounds like it's going to create more problems than it’ll solve."</p><p>He didn’t understand nearly any of the formulas on there. "You have no idea how many problems I have to deal with, already. This will at least ease my mind for some of them."</p><p>"More than the dragons?"</p><p>"Including the one I'm giving this to." Kaidan grumbled under his breath.</p><p>Sergius raised his eyebrows, looked up at Kaidan, then gave a sly grin. "Oh. Oh hoho…"</p><p>He glared right back. "How much."</p><p>An itemized list was scribbled on the back. "Two items, both high quality but no focusing gems, that’s extra, two incredibly powerful spells, one slightly dangerous, that’s a hazard tax and a waiver agreement, permanent enchantment, two Grand soul gems…" The enchanter pushed the piece of paper back to Kaidan.</p><p>"…That much?!" Kaidan looked at the paper as if it couldn't possibly be correct. He thought about just how much the wall of teleporting crystal balls upstairs must have cost. No wonder no one was allowed to just come and go through there as they pleased…</p><p>"Well, I could take off another five thousand if you brought me two focusing gems and two Grands."</p><p>Damn soul stealing magic. "I understand the Grand gems. What’s a focusing gem?"</p><p>Sergius hummed in annoyance. "Don’t really have time to explain the principles, but precious stones like diamonds, sapphires, and rubies can passively pull, concentrate, and hold magicka for spells."</p><p>"So this." He pointed to the ruby amulet around his neck.</p><p>"Exactly, though not half as shoddy as that. Best quality you can get your hands on, preferably," the master enchanter scoffed.</p><p>"I think I have something. Be back in a few minutes," Kaidan growled as he left, wanting to cuff the nosy, old Imperial for insulting Starfall's work, but then he'd have to find someone else to do it. He didn't quite trust Nelacar enough for this…</p><p>*</p><p>"Oi, Starfall. Do you have any filled Grand soul gems left?" He eventually found her coming out of one of the hothouses. She looked… a <em>lot</em> more relaxed than when they left the forge.</p><p>"And just wha' <em>you</em> need with 'em? Sir 'Magic-is-Scary'." Violet's Craglorn accent was thick and playful instead of her usual carefully imperialized (but still very noticeable) accent. She brought her pack around anyway and started fishing among the Azura Star's broken pieces and the excess looted ones.</p><p>He stared at her a moment. "What did you do down there? Lady 'Eats-Weird-Mushrooms'."</p><p>She sighed and hated that she knew this was coming. Worse that she already prepared an explanation and tightened her words back up again. "First of all, there's no mushrooms in this mixture, and I only ate a common white cap that goes in food, so shush. Blossoms took one look at me and said I looked like I was going to vibrate out of my damn skin. She also heard me screaming in the forge earlier. Maybe we should have gone all the way back to Old Winterhold. Anyway, we are both <em>master</em> alchemists, and she is in possession of <em>legal</em> alchemical methodologies and ingredients that are more common in Black Marsh than they are here. No, it's not skooma. Put that thought away right now. It's not even moon sugar.</p><p>"I won't ever ask you to partake; I know you need to be careful. Is it addictive? Probably. Most long term medicines are, but Blossoms and I will try to find an easier substitute if this works out alright. Since this is only a test, it will wear off in a few hours, and then I'll be back to my normally frazzled and temperamental self. Likely slightly moodier or dull for a few hours after that." She dropped two large, smoky, blue crystals into his hand and patted his cheek.</p><p>Kaidan didn't know this Starfall and he wasn't sure he liked her. He kept leering at her suspiciously. Two plus two added up slowly. "…It's Hist sap, isn’t it?"</p><p>He really knew too much for his own good. "Micro doses. Look. I am <em>tired</em> of feeling like panicky shit over every single thing, sen lu'he. This is what we came here to find, remember? Better medicine. Answers. Honestly, I probably should have seen her <em>first</em> instead of going straight to the library and winding up nearly losing what little mind I have left. And you still haven't answered my question."</p><p>"…You’ll see, hopefully before we end up leaving again." And he turned to go back to the Countenance dorms. 'Seen luay? Must be her Yokudan words.'</p><p>"Hmph. Those were my last two. It better be good. Now, where is Drevis?" She turned around in a circle to reorient herself and went back to the Hall of Elements.</p><p>*</p><p>Kaidan grumbled and handed over the two items, an emerald, a diamond, two soul gems, and (with a lot of pain) five thousand septims. Starfall's new mood would likely dissolve instantly if she knew that <em>all</em> of their money was gone. Especially since he was just chiding her about buying something that he technically told her to the other day. But this was for a good cause. <em>Some of us</em> can't get peace of mind out of a bottle (not that he hadn’t tried).</p><p>"This might take a bit. Have all the materials here, but you're asking for a really complicated spell set." Sergius picked up a warhorn and started turning it over and around. "Probably attach the focusing gem to the rim, here…"</p><p>"More than a day? I have a feeling we'll be right back out of here, soon."</p><p>"I don't have any other orders lined up for once because everyone is terrified of the college <em>again</em>, so I guess either tonight or first thing in the morning." The enchanting master rolled his eyes. Everyone's always rush, rush, rush.</p><p>"Hmm. Fine, then. I still have work to do in the library. And don't tell Starfall if she comes snooping."</p><p>"It's like that, is it?" he chuckled. "I saw you two out in the courtyard."</p><p>"Why is everyone around here so averse to minding their own business?" Kaidan muttered.</p><p>"Because our business is boring and monotonous, lad. Same things day in and day out. Someone letting their rivalry get out of hand. Someone fills Ancano's room with invisible spiders. The secret meetings behind the stairwell, in the Midden, and at the ruins. Study, study, study, study. Fill endless orders from the outside world. And the <em>paperwork</em>. Good gods, gossip and field work are the only things that keep us sane." He was already fishing around in a cabinet for his enchanting tools.</p><p>'<em>Sane</em>.' He understood why Starfall preferred to lose herself in the library, now.</p><p>*</p><p>"Oh, you finally came back! Your vision doesn’t seem to be stuck on another plane and you’re not screaming about the invisible spiders, so I take it my notes were helpful?" Drevis grinned and put a thick tome back on its shelf. He quickly stood in front of it to block her view.</p><p>Violet's eye twitched. "What?"</p><p>He grabbed her shoulder and started leading her to the upper floor of the library. "It's fine!"</p><p>Once they were up in the study area, he invited her to sit in a quiet alcove and paced a little bit. "It's also interesting. Illusion is one of the most difficult schools to even get into, let alone progress in. But here you are looking for more after only a couple of weeks! So how can I help you further?"</p><p>'Why? Why did you say there were spiders, you obviously aberrant man?' She couldn't feel anything, but the fool had said something and she started to imagine tiny invisible spiders walking on the invisible threads stuck through her body. Gods bless this new potion Blossoms helped with because everything would likely be ruined about now. "Your instructions were a little… off, but I still figured out the Clairvoyance spell. It worked well in finding all of the hidden areas in the Midden. I need a different spell, now. Except, I don't know if it even exists. And if it doesn't, can we create it?"</p><p>"You want to go from your first novice seeking spell, straight to Theoretical Cognitive Manipulation, which is master class." He paused for a moment and rubbed his chin. "Huh."</p><p>"You haven't even heard what I want to do, yet."</p><p>"Alright then, considering you’re a prodigy enough you've also picked up the lost magic of dragons, and you're actually taking being on Hist sap very well."</p><p>First Kaidan and now him. She turned defensive. "How do you even know—"</p><p>"Your aetheric aura looks like an Argonian's, which means Sleeps-in-Blossoms probably helped you. At least it’s not that annoying moon sugar. You probably have a good reason for it. The whole <em>dragon</em> thing is probably stressful."</p><p>"Ah," she cleared her throat. "So, I need a self-target permanent spell—"</p><p>"Ooh. Okay, we’re going to have to stop there. 'Illusion' and 'permanent' are incredibly dangerous together. Those are often called <em>curses</em>. And on yourself? Trust me on this. You do not want to do that." Drevis had stopped looking at her and ran his hand through his frizzy, white hair.</p><p>'Fucked up one of your own spells, have you?' She raised an eyebrow. "Fine. A <em>test run</em> to see if it's viable. I just want to alter my perception a little bit so I don’t… 'shut down' or become incapacitated in 'certain disturbing situations'. Like when there’s <em>invisible spiders</em> crawling all over everything."</p><p>"Ohhhh…" The Illusion Master thought for a few moments, then went downstairs to grab a book. "One minute."</p><p>She looked around for a piece of paper and charcoal, and found some on another table when he came back and set a book in front of her.</p><p>He gave her a wink. "Here you go. Common problem. Nothing to be ashamed of. Especially in your dangerous line of work."</p><p>"…You’re kidding me." She picked up the book and started flipping through the table of contents. There were several chapters on different afflictions and how to switch their effects on and off at the brain level.</p><p>He shook his head. "No, actually. Mine is butterflies. Creepy little <em>harbingers</em>… And I’m surprised you hadn’t sought it out sooner, even if you are a Redguard."</p><p>"All I can say is that my options were very restricted before. They aren't now. And I hate that the answer was right here and probably back in Elinhir all this time. Like I'm actually really, really angry about how I couldn't have this before because of traditional <em>superstition</em> and …other reasons." A small dusting of frost gathered on the table, which was progress considering how angry she <em>wanted</em> to be.</p><p>'Ah. So that’s what the Hist sap is for.' Drevis looked at the ice patch and covered his mouth. "Can I… see something, for just a moment? Nothing dangerous, I assure you. I just want to see what exactly makes up a Dragonborn, other than lots of chemicals and spells holding you together, evidently."</p><p>"Or you could just ask me?" she said with apprehension.</p><p>"You wouldn’t be able to describe what I want to know." He said as he cast the Tenth Eye on himself.</p><p>Drevis's bright eyes defocused and shot upward as his face went from cheerful curiosity to bloodless, silent horror in an instant.</p><p>"That’s not good." Violet knew that whatever was churning around in her mind, body, soul, the Hunger and Power, and that spiderweb (now crawling with Drevis's invisible spiders) from the Eye probably created a complete monstrosity, but he still could have been a bit more subtle about it.</p><p>"So… um… did you know there’s a kind of… spider web—"</p><p>"Yes. That's the Eye of Magnus. I’m working on getting rid of it," she sighed.</p><p>"And that you're… uhh…" he spread his arms upward and wide.</p><p>"<em>Don’t</em>."</p><p>"And the <em>darkness</em>—"</p><p>"Stop staring. <em>Please,</em>" she groaned and put her head down on the table. "Kind of killing my mood, here."</p><p>Drevis waved his hand over his eyes and immediately calmed down. She was just a small, justifiably confused and upset, mortal, human woman again. "…Sorry. I mean, it's incredibly fascinating in a, 'Wow, that's a <em>lot</em>,' kind of way."</p><p>"I know it's a lot. And there’s going to be more." Her voice went dead.</p><p>"I'm going to find you a few more books." He got up slowly and backed away from the table.</p>
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<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Chapter 13</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The Augur of Dunlain.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>After talking to whichever scholars they could find, Violet and Kaidan reconvened at the library to share how much progress they’d made. The only things left for them were for her to get rid of Azura’s Star and find the Augur, and for Kaidan to get his 'surprise' later. </p><p>"So there’s just… a spell. That turns off that little panic lever in your brain whenever there’s spiders." He picked up the book and started flipping through it. 'Wonder if there’s one for fire…' </p><p>"Evidently." She shrugged and kept writing out of one of the other books that Drevis was kind enough to recommend. This one was about how to "supplement your 'bodyguard's' abilities", and it actually looked to be interesting instead of terrible with a high chance of backfiring. "Did you want to continue your research before we're likely to be sent on another stupid fetchit instead of working on what I need to?" </p><p>"That's what our lives are turning into, isn't it?" he mumbled and leaned his head on his hand. "Very dangerous couriers." </p><p>"We should start charging more." </p><p>Kaidan gave her book back and returned to his own. The more recent history books from the Third Era were slightly more useful, but not much since they were either written by the Akaviri's enemies (native Tamrielans), or focusing on some unrelated topic with them as a footnote. Some even suggested that the Akaviri actually are capable of powerful magic. He held off on that. There were more important things, like what were the Thalmor looking for? And fucking Ancano called him and his kind slaves. He tried not to think of that bastard messing with him. People like that tend to use the truth if that’s what hurts more… </p><p>"I think the Thalmor are afraid they weren't as successful at wiping out the Blades as they thought. That’s what they were hinting at when they first interrogated me. Bah, they probably still know more than I do right now," he whispered. "And we’re right under their noses." </p><p>"Finding out would require us to find a high-ranking officer and find out what they know. Ancano’s been trapped here for months, so it probably wouldn't be him," Violet said. </p><p>Kaidan gave her an evil grin. "I would be willing to look the other way for a few hours while you 'ask him questions'. Just this once." </p><p>"Hmph. Sure, when it suits you. Just let me know when you’re ready to go." </p><p>* </p><p>They both skimmed their books for a few hours longer, and just before the sun went down, they packed their things and went back down to the Midden. Violet wasn’t exactly expecting another disaster like Old Winterhold, and she wasn’t dressed for any adventures, anyway. Colette assured her that she'd gone all the way down to the foundation and there were no residual energies left. The ice spiders and wraiths hadn't come back in either, which was even better. </p><p>Making their way back down, they found the room where the church door was supposed to be and found nothing but a wall of ice. The room felt different, now. Lifeless and empty, at least until they passed through the side hall and a creepy effigy made of skeletal arms and hands let them know they’d reached The Dark. Violet produced a magelight which made shadows dance everywhere. Even deeper, the natural formations of the ice pillar were both apparent, and scary as Kaidan led her across a narrow ice bridge over a chasm. At the bottom, he could see another path going even lower. </p><p>"I think we’re close, now," Kaidan said. "Though I'm not sure I want anything to do with this Augur if he's the one leaving these effigies." </p><p>"I should have checked to see if there was a spell on heights." </p><p>"Why didn’t you?" </p><p>She shuddered. "I was too focused on the invisible spiders Drevis said were everywhere." </p><p>"The master enchanter mentioned something about that. Why are there—" </p><p>“Don't know. I still don’t want to think about it.” </p><p>"Preferring you hadn't said anything, to own the truth." Kaidan let go of her once they were well into an ice cave with some alcoves carved into it. He saw a room off to the side that looked like a ritual chamber, but it wasn't behind a door, so he wasn’t going to bother. They wound up at a dead end with only a locked door wedged directly into the ice, and a ladder leading out to the foundation. </p><p>"This must be the place? I wonder if anyone else comes down this far. It doesn’t look like there's much." Violet looked around before knocking on the door. </p><p>"Look down." Kaidan leaned on the wall next to the door and nodded at the ground. The gritty ice and snow had been disturbed by two pairs of boots and the curve of the door swinging open. </p><p>Violet only hummed. She had a guess who’d beaten her here, but it didn't make much sense considering that would mean he would have known about the Augur before even the Psijic Order had come to tell her. </p><p>"<em>The </em> <em> Psijic </em> <em> Order might have suggested to you that I am attuned to current events, but the knowledge you seek will only disappoint you further,</em>" the hollow, echoing voice said. </p><p>Violet looked all around and scoffed. "Even more disappointed than the fact that the end of the godsdamned world is on my shoulders twice over?!" </p><p>"Breathe, Star," Kaidan told her. "It might not even be that. Also sounds like your potion’s wearing off." </p><p>"<em>The Blood of </em> <em> Akatosh </em> <em> is more attuned to the lifeblood of Mundus and her divinity than even she realizes. That is part of her pain, as mortals are not equipped for such information. But you persist through it.</em>"  </p><p>"<em>Divinity.</em>" She rolled her eyes. "Can we come in, now, please?" </p><p>"<em>Very well. I both do and do not have what you are looking for.</em>"  </p><p>The door opened on its own, and Violet shielded her eyes. Kaidan leaned around the corner and was instantly wary of the creature that looked eerily like what he’d seen inside of the Eye. As he moved to follow her, the Augur told him to wait. </p><p>"<em>Hold, </em> <em> Dragonguard</em><em>. This test is for a Master of Restoration. You may enter once she has completed her trial. It will not be long.</em>"  </p><p>Kaidan was about to argue, but Starfall told him it was alright. </p><p>Violet bit her lip. "Considering my other master's exams, being in the same room would probably kill you outright. Or he could make you into a test subject." </p><p>He thought a moment about how she was able to devastate the landscape, and Colette's warning. "Hn. What ever happened to just asking a couple questions?" </p><p>"That was upstairs with Colette. Have to show practical knowledge, too. Most likely still going to be easier than having a whole damn church fall on top of us," she grumbled. "Be right back, I guess." </p><p>Once the door to the little round room closed behind her, she tried to get her eyes to adjust. 'Is this what Colette meant by accident? Being trapped at the bottom of the Midden with no body?' </p><p>"<em>Colette has already told you. You must be tested before knowledge can be imparted to you.</em>"  </p><p>Her shoulders fell. "I suppose like everything else so far, that I don’t have any choice in the matter?" </p><p>"<em>You could turn back and let fate take its course. You will find no solace in the knowledge you find here.</em>"  </p><p>"Fate as a concept is pure evil and I hate it. Let's get this over with." </p><p>"<em>As you wish.</em>" The Augur then opened a portal beside her. "<em>Let us begin.</em>"  </p><p>Violet touched the light and suddenly felt much lighter, colder, and dull as if part of her mind and body had been shut off. She winced as now her feet were quickly getting sapped of heat by the freezing stone floor. She hissed at the Augur, "You could have at least let me keep my boots. My clothes weren't even enchanted. And I'm sure the Psijic Order is enjoying the free show." </p><p>He went on without acknowledging her. "<em>You will rely on your skill as a Restoration mage only. Not on your belongings, not on your potions. Only what lies within. Survive, and you are worthy. This is the test put before you.</em>"  </p><p>"But I’m a Redguard. We lost our magic aeons ago and don’t have the internal reserves to do powerful magic like elves. That's what the damn supplements were <em> for</em>." </p><p>"<em>You are already capable with what you have. Begin.</em>"  </p><p>A shade appeared right beside her, brandishing a sword. The slash nearly removed her arm, and a lot of curses and blood flowed. </p><p>"Shit!" Violet shrieked and filled the injury with bright white light as she ran away from the shade. The healing light worked quick to stitch her arm back together, then reshaped into a fiery blade which she threw at it. It passed clean through without dispersing it, who kept coming after her. "Really?!" </p><p>"<em>You have to survive,</em>" was all the Augur said as he produced another shade. </p><p>This one had a jagged ice spear, which would do a hell of a lot more damage than the cold steel. She could create a ward, but gods, those drained her <em> fast</em>. </p><p>'Just time it right.' </p><p>Her fingers flexed nervously as she wasn't the best at timing. Potions gave her a larger window to work with. Plus, now her dominant arm was screaming at her. She didn't really work much on the whole 'not taking shortcuts' thing while she was at home because it didn't seem that important at the time. Godsdamn it, past Violet. </p><p>The shade with the sword chased her closer to the one with the spear, who tried to impale her through the belly. Her aetheric shield manifested just in time, but as the ice spear crashed into it, it and her shield exploded into shrapnel that was just as dangerous. Dozens of little but deep cuts opened up across her belly and breasts. More swearing, but only the worst of them were sealed off. </p><p>Her head was starting to hurt from the constant instinct of trying to grab that other, more efficient, reliable, effective magic. "Survive for how long, damn it?!" </p><p>"<em>Soon.</em>"  </p><p>She hated that word almost as much as fate. </p><p>A third shade appeared right behind her, and she couldn’t dodge that one's lightning. Pain and panic shot across her back and dropped her to one hand and her knees. The one armed with a sword quickly moved around the base of the Augur's font, and as soon as Violet felt cold metal brush against her throat, her remaining magicka and a good dose of her blood burned a circle of light into the floor. The shades around the room howled and groaned as they tried to flee, but were trapped. Spiderwebs of light crawled outward from her ward and wove around the room to catch the undead and reduce them to ash. </p><p>"I swear to fuck, if you say there's more…" she growled loudly and put her head against the floor. 'Stupid stupid stupid why did you panic like that?! Now there's nothing left!' </p><p>The Augur seemed to watch her (or maybe sense her since he didn’t have eyes) and deliberate for an uncomfortably long time. "…<em>You are worthy. The knowledge is yours.</em>"  </p><p>"Minute. Blood loss." </p><p>She was gently levitated, refreshed back to perfect (well, her normal) health, and set on her feet with her clothes back on. </p><p>"<em>You did well for the deliberate holes left in your knowledge.</em>"  </p><p>"What do you mean, 'deliberate'?" It was true that there were some things that she was kept from or refused learning, like the darker aspects of Restoration magic and all of Illusion magic. But he was making it sound like something else was kept from her by someone? </p><p>The Augur of Dunlain reached out from his well with motes of magic, and those 'holes' that she didn’t even know were there were instantly filled with a whole lot of things she was perfectly happy <em> not </em> knowing and a few that felt like far too much responsibility. The Divine version of <b> <em> KRII </em> </b> called Circle of Death: to draw a rune under a weakened lifeform and the runes would trap the rest. Recycling that magic just used on any nearby corpses for another round. To unleash her <em> Godform </em> to grant herself infinite magic directly from Aetherius for a few crucial minutes. Using them to create a more powerful, and even dangerous aetheric shield for free. The blood magic that Colette hinted at. Powers she could grant to others by Divine Right. And her namesake. </p><p><b> <em> That was a mistake. </em> </b> </p><p>Violet sat down on the floor and started rocking herself back and forth. "I mean… not exactly the knowledge I was looking for." </p><p>"<em>You were warned.</em>"  </p><p>The door finally opened for Kaidan and he immediately ran over to her. "Are you alright?" </p><p>"…You know that feeling after we left Sanguine’s party?" </p><p>He shuddered. "Yes." </p><p>"Need another minute." </p><p>"The trial was that bad?" He frowned and sat with her again. Being closer to the floor let him notice that fading spiderwebs were pretty much everywhere, including the large circle of blood they were sitting in. </p><p>"Yes and no." </p><p>"By the Nine! What did you do?!" </p><p>She only sighed and pinched between her eyebrows. </p><p>"Okay, stupid question. Fair enough." He was still staring at the disturbing web of light and blood that started underneath her. "What about the Eye?" </p><p>"<em>We have not discussed that, yet.</em>"  </p><p>"Kaidan…" Her shaking and rocking sped up. "It was already difficult before." </p><p>"What was?" </p><p>"The Power and the Hunger." </p><p>"The trial made them worse? You're not making any sense." He did see something he didn't like in her eyes. Or maybe that was the Augur reflecting off of them… </p><p>"<em>The Blood of </em> <em> Akatosh </em> <em> is almost fully realized now.</em>"  </p><p>She almost reached for Kaidan with a glowing hand, but stopped herself at the last second. "I really do not want to be wasting time with that goddamn artifact upstairs when it feels like the curse keeps pushing me towards Alduin. I’ll show you once we’re out of here." </p><p>"<em>Then those who have sent you have not told you what they seek. What you seek.</em>"  </p><p>"The Psijic Order said they were blocked from scrying by the Eye. They're not entirely sure what’s going on, either," Violet said. </p><p>"<em>You seek that which all who wield magic seek. Knowledge. You shall find this: Knowledge will corrupt. I have given you only a taste, and you already know it will destroy and consume. You seek meaning, shelter in Knowledge. You will not find it. The </em> <em> Thalmor </em> <em> sought the same thing, and it shall lead to their end as it has so many others.</em>"  </p><p>"I figured it was their boots I saw outside. Likely after the same thing. He opened the Eye, and now he's obsessed. When he's not focused on trying to trap me," she grumbled. </p><p>"But then how do you know about it?" Kaidan asked the Augur. </p><p>"<em>This form exists outside of the physical realms. I see Aetherius leaking into Mundus via the Eye. I see the now broken lock. I see it has become a beacon to those drawn to Aetherius, as you are a beacon to those seeking power, and you are drawn to all Knowledge. The one who calls himself </em> <em> Ancano </em> <em> has sought my knowledge as well, through very different questions. Your path differs from all. You are being guided, pushed towards something. I will tell you what you need to know to follow it further.</em>"  </p><p>Violet whined into her hands and leaned on Kaidan's side. "I… I hate all of that. You know what I really seek? I seek to stop what I saw in my dream this morning. Of all of existence turning to ash. Because I've been told that this is something only <em>I</em> can do. And what you've already shown me has given me… I don’t know. I want to say hope, but what is a few seconds of <em>ripping the sky open</em> going to do but flood the mortal plane and do something just as terrible? Am I calling Magnus to come get his shit? Cause I'll go out and do that right now, if that’s the case." </p><p>Kaidan sort of wished he could understand what they were talking about, just so he could actually be a part of this conversation. </p><p>"<em>That is not for Magnus.</em>"  </p><p>"And my Godform?" </p><p>"Your what?!" Kaidan ogled her. </p><p>"<em>It will tell you how to use it.</em>"  </p><p>She was still rubbing her face. "What about the 'holes in my knowledge'?" </p><p>The Augur hesitated. "<em>You will meet them, eventually. You will be able to ask them, yourself. There are some things even I am still forbidden from approaching. And you should consider carefully in how much you need that Knowledge.</em>"  </p><p>Always eventually, sometimes soon. Kaidan sighed, "So what happens <em> now </em>?" </p><p>"<em>She, and those aiding her, wish to know more about the Eye of Magnus. You wish to avoid disaster. To see through Magnus's Eye, you require one of several complementary tools. For Starfall, the staff component is the most useful. Events now spiral quickly towards the inevitable center, so you must act with haste. Take this knowledge to the </em> <em> Archmage.</em>"  </p><p>"And more soon." Violet took a deep breath. "One last question. About you." </p><p>"<em>Ask.</em>"  </p><p>She looked at the formless light and pure magicka. "Was it worth it?" </p><p>"<em>Not in the sense that you are asking.</em>" He almost sounded sad. </p><p>She mumbled, "Oh. Sorry." and left. </p><p>Kaidan looked back and forth between them. </p><p>* </p><p>Instead of heading back up towards the college, they tried out the frozen path leading out to the foundation holding up the college. It was doubtful anyone went out there, as it was freezing, hard to access, and it was disturbing to look up at the hundreds of tons of stone and ice looking like it would collapse and crush them at any moment. Most of the dragon Violet and Kaidan had fought had washed out to sea. Violet found her seething rock and perched on it while Kaidan studied what was left of Yolnaaklah’s bones. </p><p>"I learned Restoration and Alchemy when I was young because I thought I could find a cure for whatever was wrong with me. The painful noise. The confusion. Getting lost in my own mind, or even other people’s words and <em> minds</em>, for lengths of time. Everyone thinking I was simple-headed, not paying attention, afraid of people, going mad, seeing both more than I should and yet not half of what other people saw. </p><p>"I learned how to heal others in any and every way, but it never became what I really wanted. I could keep myself stable, or almost normal for stretches at a time. Just enough to make everyone think I was mostly okay. Just forgetful or distracted and not completely haunted. I could fix bones, cure diseases, mix love potions, and deadly poisons. 'For the assassin beetles only,' I would say, as I knew full well it was going into some abusive piece of shit’s liquor in a couple of hours and decompose into inert herbal extracts a few hours after that. </p><p>"And now, everything is so completely out of control, but that’s <em> okay</em>, because people <em> believe </em> in me. </p><p>"I mean, I obviously knew I didn't know everything, or even most things, but now the Augur tells me that someone was deliberately keeping a <em> lot </em> of knowledge from me. Could I have prepared for all this? Or maybe even at least a little? …Not that I would have believed it, but <em> still </em>.” Violet stared out at the horizon. </p><p>"So you don't trust any of us when we know full well you can do it?" Kaidan frowned at her. Not that she could see it. "Especially when one of the <em> first </em> things you yelled at me about was <em> not </em> to act that you didn't know what you were doing?" </p><p>"There’s a big godsdamned difference between patching a stab wound or creating one, and trying to get a Divine relic to stop digging into my brain and doing gods know what before something… happens. Notice those two things are absolutely nothing alike." She drew her legs up to cross them over each other and grumbled. "But fuck me for still being mortal and getting scared, sometimes." </p><p>He shook his head. "So what exactly did the Augur show you that has your head all confused again?" </p><p>She wanted to be mean for that, but sighed and left it alone. "He filled in a few of the gaps in my knowledge. I think there’s still more. I don't know if I want it. I certainly don’t like what he gave me. You'll probably find my <em>B</em><em>lessing of Kings </em> interesting, though. …Can I? It's something like a tiny part of what Akatosh gave me, so you won't wind up as a Daedra, or Draconic, or anything terrible." </p><p>Violet hopped down and went over to Kaidan and the pile of bones. He was specifically studying where he'd chopped off the tail and nodded to her. As he turned around, she formed a spell that looked a bit like a brighter but more compact magelight. It absorbed into his chest and made him gasp in surprise. The <em> Dovahkriid </em> clutched his chest where that spell went and started looking around frantically. The world was now brighter even as the sun had gone down, and everything became more… real? Acute? Pronounced. Just like when Jolfir had stopped haunting him and gave him his senses back, but now there was so much <em> more</em>. </p><p>He could hear the icy tower holding up the college creaking, the sound of his rapid breathing and heartbeat was now too loud, and Starfall's magic gave off a horrible ringing noise. Is this what she had to put up with day in and day out?! He could see the minute movements of the pillar above them, and even more islands further out to sea. His leather under-armor was all strange and rough under his fingers where it had felt just fine before, and the stinging sea air was now burning cold. </p><p>The Sea of Ghosts smelled like ice and death. Starfall's storm and flowers were almost dizzying next to him, and he finally understood why she complained about him smelling of metal and oil. The new boundless energy and strength was almost unpleasant, but it would probably feel perfect if it were only passing through him while fighting and not standing still. </p><p>Starfall was something more. Slightly brighter? Or was that part of everything being bright? But he could sense her fear as if it were his own. The unknown. Why she was obsessed with knowledge like the Augur said. It was attached to something else deep inside her, and it made a pit of Hunger and <em> Darkness </em> form in his own chest… </p><p>"What… is…?" He was breathing heavily and trying to push down everything now bombarding his senses. </p><p>"Just like I can pull magicka through myself to restore life, I can now mold it into strength and power. That would have allowed you to kill Kahvozein a lot faster (if I'd had enough magicka to bless you, anyway), and likely even withstand being shouted at. But only for a few crucial minutes. I can't make it last forever. Just like I can't hold this form for very long. A 'present' from Tolfdir after he and the others studied the dragon they killed." </p><p>Violet drew a rune across her chest and her dark red skin hardened and changed into little, dark gold dragon scales. Of course they'd be the color she didn't like. They even took up deep grooves where her scars crossed her skin. She growled softly and scratched at where six little horns sprouted along the edge of her scalp like a crown. "He says this isn’t what happened when he tried it, but he's also not dragon-blooded. It should be stronger than Daedra-forged ebony, as long as you in particular don’t go stabbing me with your Akaviri weapons." </p><p>Kaidan couldn't help but stare at all the little spikes under her clothes until his eyes drifted a little too low. "…Do the scales cover your—" </p><p>"Godsdamn it, Kaidan…" she sighed. </p><p>'Kind of looks like something went wrong with an Argonian.' He chuckled and covered his mouth. "Sorry." </p><p>She flicked his forehead and left a tiny, stinging welt from her claw, before dispelling her Dragonhide and rubbing the welt out with a touch of healing. "Shame blessings don’t work on your humor. There’s other things, but without anything to <em> kill</em>, it’d be pointless to show them off." </p><p>The little mark between his eyebrows still stung slightly (as did her reaction). As he poked at it, his senses all went back to normal. On one hand, he was glad that awful gnawing pit was gone, on the other hand, there was a rush that he needed more of. He shook the thought loose. "Hey. Just like you told me. You're still you. Let’s go get some food and that oversized soul gem out of your pack." </p><p> </p>
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